Owned up to OH

SortingIt_2

Hey there,

I built up the courage and sat down with my OH to go through ALL my debt and current income etc. He was aware I had debt but not how much. Much to my relief he was brilliant, and we went through his too (not that he has much debt compared to mine) as he felt it was only fair that I knew about his income, debt and savings as much as he now knows about mine.

I can honestly say it is the best thing I have done and despite having my LBM a while back it feels like I have had it a second time round. We have vowed to do set a date every month where we will sit and track our progress towards me being debt free and run over our money spent to see where we can save on things.

I can honestly say I have never felt more determined to work hard at it, my spending diary starts today and we have already set the next date to sit down and look at things (25th May) I am already thinking of ways to pay more debt off so I (& OH) can see a nicre result when we do look at them again!

Anyway, sorry for yapping but just feel so happy about things right now!! For those who haven't told OH's (and I know all circumstances are diff) but it really has done the power of good and in some respects brought us closer. We all know how depressing debt can be and now OH can understand why sometimes things just all get a little too much!!

I plan on updating my progress again after 25/05/07 to see how well I have done!

wherediditallgo

Well done - I bet it's a weight off your mind.

OberonSH

Well done you. I bet you'll find it a lot easier now.

ilovegreatdanes

sortigIt,
well done.im really proud of you.i soooo know how you feel.i did all sorts of things so my oh wouldnt find out and at one point was thinking of ending it all cos the stress was really bad.knew he would find out but couldnt find the courage.had my post redirected for 3 months so he wouldnt find out till i had a solution.then after a week the postie asked him why my post was redirected and he confronted me cos he thought i was going to leave him.so inbetween sobs i confessed the whole thing and i felt like such a weight had been lifted.still in loads of debt and will take 26 years to pay but at least theres no more secrecy.regards.xx

wherediditallgo

I'm hopeless at lying, so the thought of keeping the secret not for a few weeks but for years, possibly a lifetime, is a no-no for me. My ex knew about the debts (he helped create them) - though he offered no moral/financial support whatsoever, I'm still glad I told him. The only reason my family don't know about it (except a cousin, who's not in a position to criticise or blab ) is because we all live far from each other. If I had to live/socialise with any of them regularly, the secret would be out before I could stop myself. :eek:

Even if I wasn't sure my partner would support me, I'd still rather tell them than have the burden of the secret on top of everything else. At least once it's out in the open, I'd know what I was dealing with.

SortingIt_2

ilovegreatdanes,

I know exactly how you must have been feeling, it gets to a point where you just can't possibly beleive they will understand or even at times I thought he would leave - just goes to show that to some, money isn't everything. OH was really supportive and I think just as much geared up to helping me clear it as I am! It has a made a massive difference to how I look at it and now feels like a positive challange ahead rather than a depressing one. I am ready and willing to work hard at it now and maybe telling OH is what I really needed to face it once and for all, I never have been strong with will power or finishing things - this time it will be different!

Have to say very proud of myself today, this is the first day I have not spent any money and taken a lunch to work with me.... can only be good! Aim to do this every day for work. Going to have to do a 'will power' rain dance for the weekend as this tends to be my worst spending moments, normally due to boredom. Think I will plan a free outing, maybe a nice walk in the country park with sandwiches (made from home)......

Best get back to work!

onedayiwill

Very, very, very well done. Telling Mr OneDay was the hardest thing I have ever done, so I know exactly how you feel


Glad to know OH was supportive. It really makes a difference having them know about it, supporting you and saying "well done" when you come home and say "I didn't spend anything today!"

SortingIt_2

Thank you OneDay - it really has made a BIG difference telling OH and feel like a weight has been lifted! Sad as it may sound (and I know I shouldn't wish time away) but I am already looking forward to 25th May when we go through finances again, no matter how small or bigger difference made to my total outstanding debts, I can't wait to see the results. Do I sound weird?????

immoral_angeluk

Aww that's great.. I bet you feel so much better now. So glad everything's working out for you.

raq

Well done you. It really does make you feel a lot better when you open up. I done exactly the same in November and so pleased I did. I feel a whole lot better and look better in myself. My husband thought I had pmt as I just had a baby. He knew we had £4,500.00 worth of debt but I never told him about the other £5,500.00. He was so supportive and we are now working on paying back as much as possible each week. He was so pleased it wasn't anything else. I just cried and cried. Thankfully he is now in a higher paid job so we are chucking this against the highest apr first of all.

All the best

art_student

Well done SortingIt! All the best with becoming debt free!