What can I do?

lonely2

Hi. Please can someone help me as I am really desperately in debt. I am currently £300 short per month to meet my minumum repayments on credit cards after I have paid essentials and loans etc. This means I am taking out that amount in cash on another card each month to make the payments on the other ones. Not good so far eh. My other (even bigger) problem is that I can definitely not tell my partner about this as I know for sure he would just leave immediately. This wouldn't really be a huge problem but I do need his small weekly contribution for food. Does anyone know if I can go on an IVA or Trust Deed without him finding out? We do have a joint mortgage but there is only about £5,000 equity there. I can't put all my debt details on just now as I must go try and get some sleep (not likely though) as I have to get up in a couple of hours for work. I'm kind of rambling now but nobody knows my situation and there is nobody I can tell. Sorry but any advice would be useful. Thanks

momisa

First of all - don't panic!! All will get sorted out in time. You need a plan of action so post your SOA as soon as you have time and I'm sure you'll get heaps of help from the folks on here.

One question for now though - you have a joint mortgage which is good but do you split all bills ie gas, electric, council tax, food, car with your OH?

nomoneytoday

I'm sure your OH would rather you were open and honest, rather than finding out by accident later on

lonely2

Thanks for replying. I will do my SOA tonight. Just jumped on here this morning before work to see if there were any replies. His name is on the council tax but all other utility bills are in my name. I really can't tell him just now (even if I need an extra couple of pounds mid week for bread/milk he's not happy and there ends up being a row and it's just not worth it). I must do my best to get on track with my finances before I try to sort out the rest of my life. I know that it's not good if I don't tell but I just can't. Thanks

hypno06

Hi there, how about giving CCCS or payplan a call and having a bit of a chat with them. Their numbers are at the top of these pages and they are charitable services so will not cost you anything.

They will give you some options that you can think about and will let you know what is most practical given your mortgage and your wish to keep things quiet from OH.

And, have a look at the snowball calculator at https://www.whatsthecost.com as this will give you another angle to consider.

Put up your SOA when you are ready and we will see if we can get some of this shortfall sorted - it is amazing what these DFW peeps can find!

Keep on posting, and remember, the hardest bit was facing up to it and you have done that, so you are well on your way to being sorted.

lonely_2

Hi Lonely2, can i firstly congratulate you on keeping the family name

Secondly, your situation sounds eerily similar to mine. Lots of debt, OH in the dark, property owner (with equity) - but I was spending £700 over budget each month, which was just going on to yet another bit of space on one of my credit cards!

Don't panic or get upset - there is always a way to resolve these things. I understand if you can't tell your OH, I couldn't tell mine - not for fear of him leaving me but that he would lose respect for me. Nobody on this forum knows your OH or your relationship so whether you tell him or not is a decision for you to make.

I looked into an IVA. Because I could afford to pay back every penny I owed through the course of the IVA (approx 5 years), there was a small chance they would not have included a clause about releasing equity from my house. I owe around £50K and would have been able to pay £1K a month, so within 5years I would have paid back everything I owed plus the IVA fees (around £8K). 8K seemed a lot of money so I decided that I would go for a DMP, even if I had to pay some interest and would get some hassle. Doesn't matter how much equity you have now, they can ask you to release your half of it by remortgaging at any time in the IVA - and whilst property prices keep rising they usually do this in year 4. If you did an IVA, and this was a clause, your OH would have to know in order to agree to it (being a joint mortgage).

With the DMP (CCCS or Payplan are good) your OH doesn't need to know anything. You'll have to hide the letters and be discreet about the calls, which you will get, but basically if you can hack this, then he doesn't need to know. The problems with the DMP are that anyone can carry on charging interest, they can agree then pull out later, they can sell your debt on to an agency, etc. They are basically under no legal obligation to adhere to strict guidelines like they are in an IVA (as this is a legal process).

In the end, I balanced out the costs involved, and made my decision to start a DMP with Payplan. Up till now, I haven't looked back! I hope this helps. Post your SOA up - it may be the case that you don't need to do anything this drastic and can just make some adjustments to your budget. Good luck!

onamission_2

well done you for facing up to it. today was my first day to post on MSE and people here seem v. friendly and full of good advice. It may be difficult but your OH could be v. supportive. I would not have kept sane without mine although he is useless with money which is part of the reason I am in the mess I am in.

MeestaDimples

Lonely2 definitely give Payplan or CCCS a call. They will suggest options for you best suited to your situation.

You could in the meantime write to your creditors and tell them you are currently having financial problems and make a token payment to them.

I hope you get to sort this soon.

lonely_2

Lonely2, did you decide what to do?

lonely2

Thanks ever so much for your replies. I have not been on for nearly a week as I am so down and just burying my head in the sand and don't know what to do. I am going to try and do my SOA now. Please continue to reply and try to help me find a way without my OH finding out. Thanks so much again.

BritainAgainstDebt

hi lonely2,

you can also ring nationaldebtline on 0808 808 4000, they open 9-9 mon - fri and 9.30 - 1pm sat. if you're worried bout oh finding out they will advise on an anon basis.