At what point would you throw the towel in ?

tomterm8

beanielou wrote: »

I work in a CAB & have for longer than I remember & we sometimes have clients who are going through bankrupcy for the second or third time.
Sometimes that makes me a wee bit cross.I do try very hard not to be judgemental though as thats not my role.

I can understand how bankruptcy can happen once or even twice... s*it happens, and all that. But how can bankruptcy happen a third time? It takes six years after bankruptcy to build up a decent credit record, and you'd think they would be wary about credit after their second bankruptcy.

Is it due to drink / drugs / gambling addiction?

Broken_hearted

I will throw the towel in when and only when a creditor gets me delaired bankrupt until then I will fight tooth and nail to keep my home. Yes it does make me:mad: to see people run up depts with no intention of paying it back, then again its upsetting to see people go under after fighting for years to pay their debts.

wherediditallgo

charlotte664 wrote: »

We faced bankruptcy last year and although we submitted the forms online, never actually had the nerve to go through with it. (Coward that I am as opposed to how I thought people would think of me) Now with a new baby - this equals a small rise in tax credits, plus OH getting a pay rise, has meant that including all CTC and CB, our total income is about £25k a year.

We may have 5 kids in the house, but extra income means we can now start to pay back what we owe - and we are!

However, if OH were to come home tonight and told me he had lost his job, we would be down the courts tomorrow. No questions asked.

I know where you're coming from on this, & I'm glad to see you're prepared to say it, so thanks for that. When the vast majority of people (especially individuals) go BR, it's not that they've thrown in the towel, or have less dignity/self-respect than other people. It's that they no longer have any other options available to them. Before speaking to the CCCS, I'd been struggling to sort out my debts for at least 3 years. But the more I tried, the more my health was suffering. The day I realised that my health was so bad that I'd might have to look at giving up work in a few years was the day I found out about the CCCS & rang them. Over a period of months, I spoke to them, did income & expenditure sheets etc & they worked for a while, but when I had to move after splitting from my ex, things went on a rapid decline. I spoke to the CCCS again, & was advised that BR was my only option, but even then, I still left it 6 months before taking that advice. I'd say that applies to a lot of people. I haven't heard of a single person who, having being told to go BR, goes & does it within a few weeks of getting that advice. They spend months, sometimes even years, trying, soul-searching etc to do anything rather than take that route.

When you decide to go BR, you've sunk as low mentally as you're going to get, but you've got no less dignity or self-respect than anyone else, because you know you've tried. But when your circumstances change & render even your best efforts worthless, there comes a point when you have to decide to either take the option open to you or sink under the cummulative pressures. That's not throwing in the towel, that's being sufficiently realistic & self-aware to do something that enables you to survive, & eventually move on. Those who feel they'd never go BR may not have reached that point yet, though they're already having bad times & may think they couldn't get any worse. If they have a partner/family who are supportive, it may well be that a trouble shared really is a trouble halved. And if they have dependants, that's bound to influence their decision one way or another. They might think differently if they had the same debts but were having to deal with them on their own & only had themselves to consider. We all have differing pain thresholds, & for some of us the pain really is too much to bear.

wherediditallgo

beanielou wrote: »

I work in a CAB & have for longer than I remember & we sometimes have clients who are going through bankrupcy for the second or third time.
Sometimes that makes me a wee bit cross.I do try very hard not to be judgemental though as thats not my role.

I wouldn't blame you for being judgemental - you're still a human being. I can possibly understand someone going BR a second time, but a third? I'm convinced some people will never be able to manage their own finances. I know a guy who at 43 was bankrupt several years ago following a bad divorce, but knows he can't manage his own money & isn't even trying to pretend otherwise. His sister & his mother now organise his money for him. When he gets paid, he pays his rent & council tax himself. He has direct debits for the utilities going from an account in his mother's name, & money going to another account in his sister's name for his other expenses, eg the car. He's given a weekly allowance of £70 & has to go to one of them for any more that he needs, as he doesn't have cashpoint cards. He has direct debits/standing orders set up to transfer money to each of the accounts just after he gets paid, & they make sure there is sufficient in each account to cover all the expenses & leave a bit over, & any balance remaining at the end of the month goes into a savings account. His friends used to mock him about not being able to manage his money, but he's the only one of them now with some savings behind him. He's happy now knowing that he's not in debt because he lives within his means & his ability. Quite rightly, he doesn't feel any embarrassment about needing his mother & sister to help him do it - better that than be in debt again.

I went BR last month, & there's not a cat in hell's chance I'll be travelling this route again. I'm going back to my parents' ways of saving for what I want. I suspect that with some things, by the time I've worked out how long it will take me to save for it, I probably won't want it any more.

lz544w

When I had my LBM, my liabilities exceeded my assets, but there was no way I was risking losing my home - my mother lives with me, and at that point, between us, we'd lived here for about 100 years.

I still have a few years to go, but I am going to get myself debt-free, and according to my calculations, I'm over halfway there, time-wise - I've been paying my debts for 6 years, and I should be debt-free in just under 6 more years, or thereabouts.

While there are times when I would love to walk away from it all, my conscience won't let me. I got myself into this mess, so it's up to me to get myself out of it. The only viable "quick-fix" for me would be a substantial lottery win! :j

immoral_angeluk

tomterm8 wrote: »

I can understand how bankruptcy can happen once or even twice... s*it happens, and all that. But how can bankruptcy happen a third time? It takes six years after bankruptcy to build up a decent credit record, and you'd think they would be wary about credit after their second bankruptcy.

Is it due to drink / drugs / gambling addiction?

A friend of ours was made bankrupt a couple years ago. He's till making bankruptcy payments but has managed to run up another credit card in the meantime.... the phrase lost cause springs to mind...

wherediditallgo

Daft egit springs to my mind! You only get so many chances in this life, & if he doesn't learn his lesson from the first BR he could end up with a BRO (Bankruptcy Restriction Order). :eek:

hypno06

If I ever have to throw the towel in, they will have to drag me kicking and screaming as I hold onto it, and that really won't be a pretty sight.....

I have come too far to give up now, unless something really really bad happens.

earwig

deliciosa wrote: »

Never. Even if I had to starve, I would never, ever throw the towel in. My dignity is worth more.

here we go again they have been countless threads on the bankrupcty i will never do it type thing

my oh had a pay cut of 100 per week i had an unplanned pregancy and had to give up my job lossing another 100 per week the bootom line was we can pay our credit cards or we can feed are kids and pay the rent that was it there was no its a easy way out we just wont pay then tough luck kind of thing it was them or us

so beening parents to two kids one newborn at the time the other was 4 years we chose to feed them your dignity is no good to your kids when they are hungary or you cant pay the rent would you really starve you and your famley and live on the streets just so you could pay your credit card bill unless you are in the situation where you have no choice you can never say you wouldnt do it that just beening daft

yes there is a tiny amount of poeple who do run up debts and go bankrupt but for the most of us it wasnt a chioce it was somthing what had to be done and yes we have got our debt written of but we pay the price for it so poelpe can think they are far better then us because they are struggleing to pay debts of they cant afford we have no credit now and we get to be judge by small minded people who think they know best

ilovegreatdanes

earwig-
i dont believe anyone on this thread was referring to a case like your.the op was saying about the guy they konow who deliberately went for br after racking up as many debts as he could.everyone has to search themselves for their own answer.i admire anyone who deals with their debts and learn the hard way how to survive,whether they choose br or iva or dmp for many years.it is a personal choice after much sole searching and either of the 3 options takes as much dealing with.i for one, would never dis someone who chooses the br route as any of the 3 options takes great courage and it depends on your personal circumstances.
however,i can understand what the op meant whem they were angry about the misuse of br in the case they had quoted.i think far too often people are too quick to judge without knowing all the facts.