SOA, CCCS, feelin terrible!

mama27

Hi everyone
This is my first post, so I hope it's ok. We have 7 children aged 15-1 and I had to go into two of their schools today and tell them that I can't afford to send any dinner or pay for any meals this week. It is something of a low point! Anyway the schools have said no prob, they'll feed em, but I just feel so crap and small!
Anyway, here is our SOA, to put things into perspective, sometimes dh earns this, sometimes nothing and sometimes somewhere in between. We had no work (handyman business) in Jan, Feb and March, but things are picking up. I'm so sick of being the one who can't afford to feed their kids.:(

Monthly Incomings:

income

salary (from own business, very ) 850
family tax credits- 900
maint.- 360
child benefit- 350
total income 2460


Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage/Rent - £500
insurance contents + building- 26
Council Tax - £80
Electric - £160
TV License - £10.99
tv etc rental -£35
Phone - £35
Food - £600
water- 8
Car tax - £35
Car Insurance - £60
Petrol - £160
childcare-240 (pls don't ask me to give this up, i have twins!!!)
maintainance- £50
church- 20
mobile *2- £60
ccccs- 300
Total: £2040

we owe 26,000 on credit cards, and this is the 300 we pay the CCCS, but this morning when I had a review with them, the lady made me feel selfish because, although we don't currently spend anything on clothes, birthday pressies etc, I would like to. She didn't seem to think this necessary and I was quite upset after I spoke to her.Oh and she also said we should only be spending a maximum of 40 pounds a month on landline, mobiles and broadband combined. This seems very little, but I have looked at Virgin Media at her recommendation and might swap on Saturday when we have some money. What do you think?
We can't change anyone cos we owe so much, eg on the electric, but any suggestions gratefully received.

Rebecca

wherediditallgo

mama27 wrote: »

Hi everyone
This is my first post, so I hope it's ok. We have 7 children aged 15-1 and I had to go into two of their schools today and tell them that I can't afford to send any dinner or pay for any meals this week. It is something of a low point! Anyway the schools have said no prob, they'll feed em, but I just feel so crap and small!

Hi Rebecca, & welcome

Firstly, I know it's hard but don't feel too bad about not being able to afford the school meals. You're not the first parent to be in that position & you won't be the last. School staff are used to it (they have parents every year that also can't afford school uniform or books), & they won't be telling other people about it.

mama27 wrote: »

we owe 26,000 on credit cards, and this is the 300 we pay the CCCS, but this morning when I had a review with them, the lady made me feel selfish because, although we don't currently spend anything on clothes, birthday pressies etc, I would like to. She didn't seem to think this necessary and I was quite upset after I spoke to her.Oh and she also said we should only be spending a maximum of 40 pounds a month on landline, mobiles and broadband combined. This seems very little, but I have looked at Virgin Media at her recommendation and might swap on Saturday when we have some money. What do you think?
We can't change anyone cos we owe so much, eg on the electric, but any suggestions gratefully received.

Rebecca

Don't worry too much about the CCCS woman. You're making monthly payments to creditors through them, & it's part of her job to be able to show creditors that what you're paying is the most you can afford, rather than an amount you feel they'll accept. So when she suggested the cheaper deal, it wasn't to have a go at you but to make you aware you should be looking at cheaper deals, which was the actual result. You've also got to be seen to be spending money on what you need, rather than what you enjoy. With 7 children, you can't be expected not to want to allow something for clothes, presents, etc. She might not be getting her way on that, but if you can reduce the cost of the phone etc, at least she'll see you're trying to meet her halfway.

When we're in debt, our sensitivities seem to be heightened - there was a time when every comment someone made felt like a dig at me. But when I think about it some more, I realise most of them probably weren't even thinking about me when they said what they did. I've had to develop a thicker skin & more backbone - I'm not going to be jumping down someone's throat over every remark, but I won't be putting up with cheap comments at my expense either.

yellowmonkey

Hi

Just a quick one. Do you not qualify for free school Dinners. Also your electric seems very high?

YM

yellowmonkey

mama27.

Forgot to say welcome and good luck

YM

mama27

Thanks for those replies, yellow monkey- our electric is high, not sure how it happened, but we ended up wiv a 600 pound bill at Christmas. we had some extra kids staying wiv us for 4 months and it sure piled up the washing! I'm sure we aren't on hte cheapest supplier, but can't change till we've paid it off?
We don't qualify for free school dinners cos we not on income support, just family tax credit.
I'm sure I am being super sensitive just now, just expected the CCCS woman to be nice, like all their other staff, but she really did seem judgemental.

southern_chick

Hi and welcome to MSE, you're in the right place for some good advice

i haven't got as much expereince as most people on here so cant really offer any advice apart from look at starting a sepdning diary, from your SOA your outgoings are almost £400 a month less than your incoming, if you start a spending diary and put everything in it that you spend right down to a news paper or packet of chewing gum, you mght see where you are spending with out realising it and might be able to make some savings

good luck and keep posting

SC XX

amani_2

Hi MAMA27

I want to say welcome and to go into school and tell them that takes alot of guts. I would not have been able to do that. I know the crap feeling and also understand about not been able to swap suppliers due to having to pay them off in full. I am in the same sittuation.

I think you are doing well, I agree with wherediditallgo about the lady from CCCs. I am also on a DMP with CCCs, but only just started so not very experienced.

AMANI XXX

mama27

thanks Amani, it was really tough to go into school, but I thought if they eat at school they won't be so hungry at home! MIL sent us a food parcel so we have bread and stuff now!

amani_2

hi mama27

How are you doing today?????????

You sounded very down yesterday, hope you are feeling better today.

What is MIL?



AMANI XXX

joolz43

Hi there, welcome to the family; hope you'll get lots of support.

I am with the CCCS and am sure there was an allowance made for clothes, haircuts and the like. Must be really difficult to manage with all of your family, is there any thing you could sell on ebay or at a car boot sale to generate a bit of cash? I am a fine one to talk as really struggling to feed my small family on a reasonable amount but is there any way you can cut back on what you spend in a month on food?

Good luck

quantumleap

mama27 wrote: »

Hi everyone
This is my first post, so I hope it's ok. We have 7 children aged 15-1 and I had to go into two of their schools today and tell them that I can't afford to send any dinner or pay for any meals this week. It is something of a low point! Anyway the schools have said no prob, they'll feed em, but I just feel so crap and small!
Anyway, here is our SOA, to put things into perspective, sometimes dh earns this, sometimes nothing and sometimes somewhere in between. We had no work (handyman business) in Jan, Feb and March, but things are picking up. I'm so sick of being the one who can't afford to feed their kids.:(

Monthly Incomings:

income

salary (from own business, very ) 850
family tax credits- 900
maint.- 360
child benefit- 350
total income 2460


Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage/Rent - £500
insurance contents + building- 26
Council Tax - £80
Electric - £160 ( This is quite high - you should review it)
TV License - £10.99
tv etc rental -£35 (Rental is not always the best option but I know it might be difficult to do anything about this at the moment)
Phone - £35
Food - £600 (Difficult to cut down with 7 kids but worth having a go)
water- 8
Car tax - £35 (This is over £350 per year!)
Car Insurance - £60
Petrol - £160
childcare-240 (pls don't ask me to give this up, i have twins!!!) (If you are paying this in order to have a break then of course I understand however if it is a choice between feeding the kids and having the break then it is a no brainer I'm afraid!)
maintainance- £50 (What is this?)
church- 20(This will have to go for the short term anyway)
mobile *2- £60 (You need to review this ASAP, you can't afford it)
ccccs- 300
Total: £2040

we owe 26,000 on credit cards, and this is the 300 we pay the CCCS, but this morning when I had a review with them, the lady made me feel selfish because, although we don't currently spend anything on clothes, birthday pressies etc, I would like to. She didn't seem to think this necessary and I was quite upset after I spoke to her.Oh and she also said we should only be spending a maximum of 40 pounds a month on landline, mobiles and broadband combined. This seems very little, but I have looked at Virgin Media at her recommendation and might swap on Saturday when we have some money. What do you think?
We can't change anyone cos we owe so much, eg on the electric, but any suggestions gratefully received.

Rebecca

I wish you well