India's greatest export

sillygoose

Telemarketing and spam calls of course!

Got a new one today,
not to fix the virus on my pc,
not to reclaim PPI I never had,
or the damages for the leg I have yet to break,
not to insulate my loft..again..
not to carry out a survey of some sort,
or any of the usual..

This chappy was offering me free electricity! now in fear of a sudden surge of the stuff being sent down the phone line I dropped the phone and dashed off to put my marigolds on for insulation, thank goodness there wasn't a free sample of the offered goods.

Picking up and continuing the conversation it transpired the next question was do I have solar panels on my roof.. penny drops. Yes! I lied its covered in them, erm good, does it make lots of power he enquired?

plucking an impossible figure out the air 1.21 gigawatts I claimed even at night! (Back to the future fans will know this is how much power it takes to send a DeLorean back to 1908)

Does it save you lots of money he followed? yes! I lied (of course) I even tried selling the spare kilowatts to British Gas I continued, but they were not interested as apparently they only buy the expensive stuff for their customers.

He seemed satisfied that whatever he was pitching couldn't better my impressive solar farm and surprisingly politely thanked me for my time.

Of course if this now results in a criminal gang of silicon bandits on my roof tonight looking for rich pickings of solar panels its my own fault.

Take_it_like_a_man,_sonny

Bloody hell, you have gone nuclear mate.

VfM4meplse

Would you feel differently if the telemarketer used received pronunciation?

sillygoose

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Would you feel differently if the telemarketer used received pronunciation?

I applaud our developing country friends for their drive and innovation, as soon as one implausible avenue dries up they think of another to put all those swivel chairs and telephone headsets to good use. Take note Cameron!

Azari

sillygoose wrote: »

Telemarketing and spam calls of course!

Got a new one today,
not to fix the virus on my pc,
not to reclaim PPI I never had,
or the damages for the leg I have yet to break,
not to insulate my loft..again..
not to carry out a survey of some sort,
or any of the usual..

This chappy was offering me free electricity! now in fear of a sudden surge of the stuff being sent down the phone line I dropped the phone and dashed off to put my marigolds on for insulation, thank goodness there wasn't a free sample of the offered goods.

Picking up and continuing the conversation it transpired the next question was do I have solar panels on my roof.. penny drops. Yes! I lied its covered in them, erm good, does it make lots of power he enquired?

plucking an impossible figure out the air 1.21 gigawatts I claimed even at night! (Back to the future fans will know this is how much power it takes to send a DeLorean back to 1908)

Does it save you lots of money he followed? yes! I lied (of course) I even tried selling the spare kilowatts to British Gas I continued, but they were not interested as apparently they only buy the expensive stuff for their customers.

He seemed satisfied that whatever he was pitching couldn't better my impressive solar farm and surprisingly politely thanked me for my time.

Of course if this now results in a criminal gang of silicon bandits on my roof tonight looking for rich pickings of solar panels its my own fault.

Nice one.

I tried a new tactic a few days ago when I got a PPI call.

I simply answered all her questions politely and accurately.

It took about a minute and a half before she realised that there was no business to be got here.

qetu1357

sillygoose wrote: »

Telemarketing and spam calls of course!

Got a new one today,
not to fix the virus on my pc,
not to reclaim PPI I never had,
or the damages for the leg I have yet to break,
not to insulate my loft..again..
not to carry out a survey of some sort,
or any of the usual..

This chappy was offering me free electricity! now in fear of a sudden surge of the stuff being sent down the phone line I dropped the phone and dashed off to put my marigolds on for insulation, thank goodness there wasn't a free sample of the offered goods.

Picking up and continuing the conversation it transpired the next question was do I have solar panels on my roof.. penny drops. Yes! I lied its covered in them, erm good, does it make lots of power he enquired?

plucking an impossible figure out the air 1.21 gigawatts I claimed even at night! (Back to the future fans will know this is how much power it takes to send a DeLorean back to 1908)

Does it save you lots of money he followed? yes! I lied (of course) I even tried selling the spare kilowatts to British Gas I continued, but they were not interested as apparently they only buy the expensive stuff for their customers.

He seemed satisfied that whatever he was pitching couldn't better my impressive solar farm and surprisingly politely thanked me for my time.

Of course if this now results in a criminal gang of silicon bandits on my roof tonight looking for rich pickings of solar panels its my own fault.

Get a phone that displays the callers number and then you can choose whether to answer or not.

The other night I was bored so I answered one.

Got the usual "you have been in an accident" so I pretended they said "you will be in an accident".

What followed was 3 minutes of pure farce that Ray Cooney would be proud of.

peter_the_piper

I gave up early on one today, thick asian accent and was called Kevin. I would put the phone down on anyone called Kevin.

Take_it_like_a_man,_sonny

Pete.

Are you sure?

sillygoose

peter_the_piper wrote: »

I gave up early on one today, thick asian accent and was called Kevin. I would put the phone down on anyone called Kevin.

It could have been Kevin Costner, but you would have been able to guess it was him because he would have sounded quite short, he is 5'5" I believe.

azzabazza

peter_the_piper wrote: »

I gave up early on one today, thick asian accent and was called Kevin. I would put the phone down on anyone called Kevin.

I am sure Kevin has phoned me several times! Pity he doesn't get the message!

Monsternextdoor

Classic, I tend to just put my husband on the phone and they cannot understand a word that comes out of his mouth its them that hangs up first !