Advice Needed.

RAS

dab73 wrote: »

Thats my thinking It just pains me that my daughter comes to me complaining that she has holes in her clothes or that she gets fed super noodles for dinner whilst the ex can afford to smoke and drink a bottle of wine most nights.

Yes lets hope Karma is getting warmed up.

In which case you need to keep documenting this - photos of the shoes etc.

As some point you might want to consider whether to apply to become the parent with care?

dab73

clearingout wrote: »

the amount set by the CSA is a legal mimimum a parent is expected to pay. There is no legal maximum as the expectation is that parents can work out what their children need and work together to acheive this. For some parents, this will mean paying more than the minimum, for others less (assuming an agreement is reached) but where parents can't agree, there is a system in place to ensure that something is paid. You are under no legal obligation to pay any more than this minimum - so you can stop mobile phone payments, for example.

If you are not earning, your liability will be reduced to zero if someone is supporting you or £5 if you're claiming benefits. The PWC will be expected to take this on the chin and manage. Many other PWC never receive a penny (myself included) and are expected to bring up our children in the face of general soceital adversity about 'single mothers'. Depending on where you happen to be at any given moment in time, the system pretty much sucks.

You have provided for your children, presumably because you could afford to at the levels you currently pay. Be proud of that. Many dad's couldn't give two hoots and will happily abandon their children emotionally, physically and financially. Worse still in my opinion, are those like my ex who never pay a penny but who pick up their children on a weekly basis, moan at the PWC that their children's shoes are worn out and over their shoulder mention that they're jetting off to Barbados for 2 weeks so won't be turning up for as long as it takes.

I agree there is no legal maximum but in this situation with the debt i have been left in I can barely pay the legal minimum. What pains me further is that the PWC can then choose to spend my hard earned on what she likes. I will always provide for my children but it pains me to hear my daughter missing out when i have no way of putting it right.

dab73

RAS wrote: »

In which case you need to keep documenting this - photos of the shoes etc.

As some point you might want to consider whether to apply to become the parent with care?

Yes i will, thats a very good tip. As for becoming the PWC it has crossed my mind. I didn't think that unmarried Fathers had a lot of rights when it came to this sort of thing?

lazer

dab73 wrote: »

Yes i will, thats a very good tip. As for becoming the PWC it has crossed my mind. I didn't think that unmarried Fathers had a lot of rights when it came to this sort of thing?

Depends - what age is your daughter and does she want to live with you?

If she is old enough that she has a say and wants to live with you - the court would look much more favourably on your application.

Unfortunately - you are right about fathers not having much rights, in theory it is the children that ahve the rights and their welfare is considered to be more important than the parents rights.

Reality - unless there is exceptional circumstances a court will generally award the mother custody - usually due to issues such as the mothers working part time, maternity leave etc, so it is the mother that does most of the day to day care.

To be awarded custody you will need to prove that she is not caring for the child correctly, but don't be overly negative about her either stating that she spends your money of cigarettes and alcohol - instead you need to concentrate on the things she is not doing for your daughter that she should be

Example: Child comes to you in clothes with holes
Child told you that she hasn't had a hot dinner since she last seen you

Do you have parental responsibility?