My Debt Diary

Fritter

I want to bottle how I'm feeling right now thought this might be the best way. I feel a failure, ashamed, deflated and weak when looking at our debts.

Looking at the money we're repaying I feel like we've failed our girls, mainly as the repayments could be being saved for their future but also that we've got nothing to show for our debts, only the next 5yrs of repaying them.

I feel ashamed as I know between us we earn a good wage yet we can't keep to it. I hear of single parents who keep to £600 a month yet we over spend with an income over £2.5k. Ashamed that I don't know the value of money. I look around at some of the things we've bought and they aren't well looked after, alot are broken. Things we so desperately couldn't leave in the shop are tossed away within days.

I feel deflated as it's going to take 5yrs, 5yrs to payback what we've frittered away. My girls will be teenagers, eldest will have started secondary school. It seems so far away.

And I feel weak. I look at what things are selling for on ebay and I'm so tempted to spend it on things that are being watched. Things that aren't needed, I'm pretty sure I can justify clothes to myself but in reality I don't need them, I know that. But I feel weak and feble.

One of us needs to be strong and my OH just isn't. I can say to him that Isobel needs these shorts, she hasn't got enough to last her through the summer and he'll say fine. When in reality she's got more than enough and doesn't need them. I could justify anything to him and he wouldn't say no, the temptation to do this is such a burden.

I want to bottle the shame and the feeling of failure, every time I want to spend I'm going to come and read it. Let the feeling of determination boil up, I can do this, I wont let this ruin me or my family and it will be long before 2012.

RIGHT I'm off to delete my watched list off ebay, there's nothing on there that's needed, it's all wants so to ease the temptation it's all going. I can do this and more's the point I will.

S -x-

GirlRacer_2

Well done on starting a diary Fritter. Whenever I'm tempted by internet shopping I come on here. It takes the urge away. Your not a failure, your a strong person who is going to beat these negative feelings and pay off the debt that is making you so sad. Don't forget 2012 is the worst case scenario. You may find that some months you can overpay and that will bring your debt free date forward.

Good luck in all your efforts. GR x

lswwong

Fritter

Please give yourself the courage to look forward and upward and put the bad feelings behind you. You have done the best thing by recognising that your spending urges/habits need to be turned around. Turn them around you will, by focusing on your family and your children's best interests.

GirlRacer is so right when she says 2012 is the worst case scenario. Provided you keep up with repayments - and possibly pay more back where you can - all this will be over sooner. Some of us on this forum positively get addicted to seeing our debts shrink! Funny to think that we probably used to have the same thrill from spending that money .... see, it all got turned around.

Please be strong and stay strong. You can do it!

Best wishes,

Lou

joughtib

A phrase that springs to mind is "living to our means". The more you earn, the more you are tempted to spend, unless you keep it in check. I'm certainly guilty of that, and we're probably not alone in that.

The thing is that you recognise is now, and by looking at your spending, you might be able to become Debt Free earlier than 2012.

Seaxwyn

Hi and welcome Fritter.

It's good to hold onto your feelings now and use them to fuel your efforts to save money.

Like you I'm looking at a debt free date in 2012 and my children won't just be teenagers, two of them will be starting university! So we are facing a long haul and I blame myself for not being able to give them all the holidays, days out, nice clothes and other things I'd like to be able to.

But it's not the end of the world. A happy and secure family life are the most important things you can give them. Mine are generally understanding about the constraints on us and very positive about helping out with moneysaving things - carboot sales, turning off lights and the rest.

You may well be able to pay off your debts faster than you think and that debt free date will come sooner. But meanwhile, you can have a life, just look out for cheap/free ways of doing what you want to do. If clothes are important to you, set a budget so you can buy one or two items each month.

Best of luck with it all and I'm glad to know there will be company on here for the long haul!

Mindy_2

I'd like to echo what Seaxwyn says, and I am looking at a debt free date of 2012 as well.

The most important thing that has happened to you at the moment is that you have realised what you are doing and "come to your senses". Its never easy to hold your hand up and say I'm in debt.

This board is very cathartic, when I have a bad day and wonder just why I struggle on as I do, I come on here and read other people's stories, see their triumphs, how they manage and it reinforces the feeling that I am not alone.

My son will also be in Uni by the time we are through, but he knows just what we are doing and even asked me the other day whether it was possible to go through life without credit cards!

Chin up, and look to the future!

ThankYouAndEnjoy!

Hello Fritter

Congratulations on posting . Deifinately the best place to be on these forums. The people here are so nice and have helped out many people, in similar and worse positions than you.

First thing to do, you mention in you sig that you Marbles CC is £101.69 in credit. If you have no need for this account to be in credit, i would suggest contacting Marbles and asking them to send you a cheque. Use it to pay off one of your bills. A Credit Card In Credit Earns No Interest remove it!!

Secondly, you mention that you are overspending on a £2.5k income. Most people post their respective S.O.A on their posts, the MSE'rs give tips on 'cutting costs whilst not affecting your standard of living' It may be worth you posting this on this thread. Entirely up to you and dont feel pressured.

With reference to paying back in 5 years; completly echo what others have said before.

If you need any advice ... keep posting (and keep you head up!)

Fritter

THANK YOU EVERYONE.

Having a very positive day today. Ebay auctions finished and have totalled £63. Post has to come out of that but I'm really happy, especially as there's 2 cash on collection auctions and I've got lots more to go on.

I think paying off a bill will give me the buzz i need to committ to this.

Deleting everything out of my watched list was also a huge buzz, I suddenly felt so strong. Silly really.

Lottie has a few things in there and I felt bad about deleting those but neither of the girls needs a thing.

Also talked to OH about using that two little word. Sorry is an easy word, it's no he struggles with. I hold fault there though as I've never asked his permission for anything, just used him as a way to justify things to myself outloud.

Looking forward to becoming a giver, not a taker on here too.

Sarah -x-

ThankYouAndEnjoy!

Fritter wrote:

THANK YOU EVERYONE.

Having a very positive day today. Ebay auctions finished and have totalled £63. Post has to come out of that but I'm really happy, especially as there's 2 cash on collection auctions and I've got lots more to go on.

I think paying off a bill will give me the buzz i need to committ to this.

Sarah -x-

Glad your feeling more positive

With the £63 from Ebay and the £101 from marbles credit card on its way, you will be in a position to pay off your 2 smaller debts!! How good will that look on your signature!! Psychologically, the fact that they will be shown on your sig as being paid (and so soon into your debt diary) will give you a massive boost.

Keep going; we all have every bit of faith in you!

Fritter

The minimum payment was due on the Next account so I decided to transfer the money made from this weekends ebay auctions into my bank and pay a good chunk off the Next Account. It feels GREAT. Especially knowing that there's more auctions finishing in a few days. I might use that money to go toward the Vertbaudet Account as that minimum payment is due in a week and making headway on both of them is great.

Si watched me tonight as I looked round the room on an ebay trawl. I don't think he's quite got the bug yet, but it wont be long.

I noticed that Sky boxes fetch good money on ebay and we've got one sitting under the stairs so that's going. Along with CDs on amazong market place.

I've done an extensive budget, right now it's got too many luxuries but whilst I'm trying to convince Si to actually stick to it I thought the best starting point was to give us one with treats and then slowly cut down as he watches the difference it makes. Have managed to convince him to try camping next year when we go and see his parents rather than a 500quid cottage. Hopefully the girls are young enough to see it as an adventure.

Everyone on here is really supportive and I'm not sure I could have taken this step without you all. Although I know there is lots more support on other boards I feel within my comfort zone on here right now. Perhaps that's next weeks target to go and venture onto other boards.

Sarah -x-

Fritter

I'm having such a !!!!!! week. My mother has been very ill and with my mind elsewhere the only habit that changed was me writing down what I spent.

So much for my new £75 shopping budget, £86 in Asda today.

Went to Clarks to buy the girls some shoes (no cheap trip) and promised myself I wouldn't spend anything else but they ended up with some underwear and sun hats. And no answer off the !!!!!!s on how they manage to outgrow their shoes at the same time.

Lots of late night trips to the local corner shop to buy chocolate. Has anyone done any research about the correlation of crap spending and crap eating, I'm sure there's a link as when I'm in control of my eating, I'm in control of my spending.

With mum being ill I've not been around to answer questions on my ebay sales which I'm sure has resulted in lower sale prices.

Fed up and want to eat.

Sarah -x-