decided I need to take potive action to clear my debits

rising_from_the_ashes

cyclura wrote: »

This is also why you need to combine everything, we cannot see an accurate result of what is being paid for in the household but neither can you when you think about it.

I would actually suggest opening a seperate account. and having ALL your bill money come out of it, both of you put the money needed in that account and a little extra to tackle debts if you have it (and from what I hear you have as he spends it) and then give him an amount to use for the month left in his own account.

I agree with this - having a separate account where you can put a set amount of money into each month to cover the bills is an absolutely fantastic way of managing things - it also means you never need to worry about D/debits not being paid as there is always the money there to cover them - just don't use the account for anything else!:)

It's really hard to get an accurate picture of the overall household expenditure and advise when the SOA doesn't show everything eg

justamummy wrote: »

Groceries etc. ......................... 100

justamummy wrote: »

That is my half of the grocery bill, my husband pays the other half.

So ... the household groceries bill is actually £200 which isn't clear from the SOA ...... what about all the other utilities?

A lot of the figures quoted may be reasonable figures if they are all that is spent but would be really high if your DH is also paying the same amounts - eg Gas, Elec, Water etc etc etc

justamummy wrote: »

Council tax............................. 120
Electricity............................. 50 Does this incl the arrears amount? On the high side Gas..................................... 40 As above
Water rates............................. 40 Can you get a meter?
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 10
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 25 Not essential (sorry) - need to get rid of this to clear debts
Internet Services....................... 10
Groceries etc. ......................... 100 Actually £200 which is OK
Clothing................................ 20
Other travel............................ 50 What is this? All essential?
Contents insurance...................... 20 High - check comparison sites
Life assurance ......................... 10
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20
Haircuts................................ 0 Never?
Entertainment........................... 20
Emergency fund.......................... 0Need figure here to avoid new debts

Having a joint bills account may be the way forwards - especially if your DH isn't 100% on board - at least it would mean the household bills were always going to be covered.

justamummy

All the other bills are the ful amounts. Husband pays rent and nursery, I pay household bills, we split grocerys.

Council tax............................. 120
Electricity............................. 50 Does this incl the arrears amount? On the high side no arrears, I switched using a compassion site last year. Gas..................................... 40 As above
Water rates............................. 40 Can you get a meter? don't know if landlord would let us get a meter
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 10
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 25 Not essential (sorry) - need to get rid of this to clear debts in contract until March
Internet Services....................... 10
Groceries etc. ......................... 100 Actually £200 which is OK
Clothing................................ 20
Other travel............................ 50 What is this? All essential? travel to and from work
Contents insurance...................... 20 High - check comparison sites
Life assurance ......................... 10
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20
Haircuts................................ 0 Never? cut own hair
Entertainment........................... 20
Emergency fund.......................... 0Need figure here to avoid new debts

Heffi1

Hi, you have taken the first step in addressing the debts and well done as it is not always easy when it is in black and white. Does your OH know how much the debts are in total, does he contribute to reducing the debt or does he want to carry on spending and expect you to sort it out?

The quicker he is onboard with how things are then the easier it will be to turn the corner and start digging yourself out again. It can be done and what seems like an uphill struggle now, will get easier as time goes by.

It is really important that your OH knows how bad things are so that he knows he will have to make some sacrifices to make things better.

The sooner you have that conversation the better I think.

I wish you lots of luck, keep posting as we are here to help although sometimes we may have harsh lessons to give out along the way, it is meant with kindness and to help you see the solution that is there for you, when you are ready to take it.