'supporting each other through really tough times'

[Deleted User]

Hey FUDDLE glad you are feeling a bit more level today. Your MIL is a wonderful lady and deserves a big HUG which I am sending as I type. How could we possibly see you as anything but the hard working little tryer that you are? The car will solve the problem and give you the option to look for jobs over a much wider area and make life so very much easier for you, what's not to like? Cheers Lyn xxx

mardatha

Unixgirl, we find wood isnt warm enough. I don't mind the cost of coal because the stove runs
24/7 most of the year and the stone walls retain the heat, makes the place cosy. We don't need to pay for petrol to work or socialise or smoke so that's where most of the money goes - but its good to be snug in your wee house

nuttyp

Hi everyone, sorry been away in newcastle for a couple of days and OH is on holiday for the week. Lots have happened in the last few days.

As some of you may know, due to circumstances going back some 15 years ago we ended up having to declare ourselves BR. House repossession was the major factor. Well its taken a very long hard slog to get where we are now. To got the funds together to go BR we had to sell lots of items, including my engatement ring for cash to buy food etc.

Now we are nearly out of the 6 years after, so OH has just got me a car. Not exactly what i wanted to do, but he knows we can afford to get one. We had an old car, and we have given this to our DD. It will ok for a couple of years or so. Im just worrying about having a car on finance. We havent had any finance for over 5 years. I pay the rent weekly so we know where we are.

Im sure we will be ok, but its just something i hadnt even thought about, life is just ticking over. It is a bit routine, but i like it like that.

Newcastle, what can i say - what friendly bunch you are. We stayed near the metro centre in a bargain priced room. It was clean and very spacious. Made a nice get away - we ate at a buffet type place, all you could eat for under £6 each. Lets say OH tried everything at least once!!! We used the bus to go into town, as parking can often we very expensive. And what did we do, well we just wandered. Stopped for a cuppa and then wandered again. It was just so relaxing not to have to do anything.

So that was our trip, we didnt buy anything - manily as we dont need anything. And the other reason is payday isnt until 25TH!!! All good tho, we have some food in so just bread and milk and petrol for OH getting to work.

RE CAMERA, i have a fuji compact, amd its great. As long as it is pocket size it seams to get used. I did use my tosco vouchers and treated myself to the olympus tough, not a patch on fuji. It may be hard!!! as in water and drop proof, it is incredibly slow at taking pictures, and they are not as clear.

So thats it nothing else to report, just have to be brave and plod on. Hope everyone is keeping warm, seems we are goning to get some snow very soon :-)

monnagran

My goodness, it didn't take people long to get back to normal silliness after Christmas, did it?
Shegar: They send out these computer generated letters without once ever thinking about the circumstances of the people they are sending them to. I love my PC but there is far too much reliance on computers when it is going to affect actual people living (or trying to) in the real world. Computers have no common sense! I feel sure that all will be well for you, but that is no help when you are trying to calm a frantic OH. Lots of loving thoughts coming your way.

Pops: I know you are worried but at least you have the comfort that you will not suddenly find yourself without a roof over your head. You will not starve. You will not freeze to death. You have someone you can let off steam to, (that's us!) and worry is like sitting in a rocking chair, it passes the time but gets you nowhere. I know you fear having to move and how you'll cope, but I promise you, we human beings are much more adaptable than we realise. You will be all right. Honestly.

Missmucksmum: You poor love. Will it help if I tell you that you've done absolutely the right thing. You cannot help an alcoholic, if they can't do it for themselves they have to live with it.
I have lived long enough to see what happens to families with an alcoholic in their midst. It destroys them. You can't allow that to happen to your children.
It's such a shame that we can't turn off our emotions at will. I am sorry that you miss your OH so much but I'm sure also that you don't miss the rows, the lies, the deceptions and the uncertainties.
One day at a time, love.
If your family see you trying to pick up the pieces of your life and make a good home for your children, they may come round and if they don't then you will build a life without them.
Have you thought of going to AlAnon? you will find other people there in your situation and you can support each other.

In the meantime, welcome to our forum. You will find loads of support here.

Sermons over for the moment.

x

Byatt

Mardatha, that's so true about the stone retaining the heat! I've noticed that, and because weather is milder here generally, I can get away with lighting the stove on alternate days, as it's still warm here.

A question, I bought what turns out to be a vintage enamel bread bin from the CS for £5 intending to use is for ash becuase it's cheaper than a bucket with a lid! However, on now seeing the price they go for :eek: I'm not sure if I should use it for ash. I didn't however want a dirty great bread bin either though! :rotfl: What to do?

2tonsils

I saw the report on Sky news about the horrendous waste of food. There are schemes here now for the supermarkets to send their near to sell by date or damaged goods to the soup kitchens that are set up in the main cities here. I am glad it is being put to good use and not wasted when so many are in need.

Our supermarkets are quite different with the fruit and veggies. They display some packs of prepackaged but almost all the local fruit and veg is loose in boxes in the supermarkets so you can pick your own out of the box. The tomatoes and other local stuff is often misshapen but I think the Greeks prefer these to the perfect ones. It is almost always the perfect ones that are being sold off on offer as they don't get bought. You are even entitled to take off the outer leaves if they are torn or dirty before you buy the veggies.

I went shopping today and got some great bargains, both freezers are full again. I went to the wholesale freezer shop (they will sell it to you if you tell them its for home use ) and they must have had a discount in operation as it was much cheaper than usual. I asked her to check the total twice as I thought she had made a mistake the first time she added it up.

We only spend about 50 euros a month on electricity but the property taxes we pay take it up to about 150 euros a month on the bill. We are using olive wood at 100 euros a ton for the open fire (about five to six weeks use) and we use a calor gas bottle for cooking which costs us about 20 euros for around five months. We have energy saving bulbs in the whole house and we unplug everything at night...not only to save on standby electric use but because the power surges/lightning we get wreck the electrical goods if you leave them plugged in. Heating oil is 1.40 a litre at the moment so we are not buying any, we filled the tank at 85 cents a litre in April and it has to last us till the end of this winter.

I spend around 80 euros a week for groceries but things are quite expensive here now. That includes costs for toiletries and other cleaning things which are very expensive. I tend to make my own most of the time.

Just had roast chicken with sweet potato wedges and baked leeks and it was gorgeous, full of flavour. I got the chicken for 30 percent off and put it in the freezer a while ago. The sweet potato cost me 40 cents and the leeks were 99 cents a kilo. I love them in soup!

Warmer here now (10 degrees today) but its because its pouring with rain and very cloudy. Called at the Chinese shop and got a fake fur hat, warm gloves and some winter tights...I am ready if the intense cold comes back , like I think it will.

kidcat

Have skipped forward just to reply to shegar, will go back later as I am out at moment, a compliance officer visit is not necessarily to check you, they send them out to check that the depts involved are doing things properly. We had a visit a few years ago as were receiving a small amount of housing benefit, I was so worried and panicked then they arrived and explained they have to check so many cases to audit staff, she checked all our stuff and explained where the staff had done it wrong and how we were actually entitled to a little more, she sent a report a few weeks later and then our benefit was increased and backdated,

So please don't worry its likely not to be them checking you,

katieowl_2

Byatt wrote: »

Mardatha, that's so true about the stone retaining the heat! I've noticed that, and because weather is milder here generally, I can get away with lighting the stove on alternate days, as it's still warm here.

A question, I bought what turns out to be a vintage enamel bread bin from the CS for £5 intending to use is for ash becuase it's cheaper than a bucket with a lid! However, on now seeing the price they go for :eek: I'm not sure if I should use it for ash. I didn't however want a dirty great bread bin either though! :rotfl: What to do?

Flog it on e-bay and get a galvanised bucket with no lid. We just bung ours outside, and if it gets a bit damp it doesn't matter, just makes it easier to get in the bin eventually as it doesn't pouff everywhere!

Well I spoke to the upstairs Boss...she is sorry manager is staying apparently, they were gutted that she changed her mind, as her leaving of her own accord was a result! Appointments are by the board of trustees, and trustees hands are tied, as she does have a contract. She does however also remain useless ...so I told upstairs boss I wasn't going to be working with her if she stays. Much hand wringing...and OH no, don't say that, what will we do without you. I'm however not going to change my mind. I'll work for them independently if they want me, and do any workshops, but I'll not work in the kitchen while she's in charge. Apart from being useless, she's stitched DD RIGHT UP! She's now got no job, not even her min hours contract, and now she knows she's pregnant she can't exactly walk into another job.

I just spoke to DD too...who had (finally) a call from one of the trustees apologising...and saying sorry there's nothing we can do. DD has told her that if there are no hours guaranteed for her there then she is basically now unemployed...so she may as well just leave. She's going to be better off signing on than the few paltry hours they will offer her until the spring, and in the mean time they need to pay rent and stuff!!! At least if she's signing on they'll get some HB and a CT rebate.

At least we'll have the satisfaction of the moral high ground, and the fact she will be up that well known creek without a paddle!

Kate

[Deleted User]

Hi KATE I'm glad they had the decency to appologise to your DD but, as you say that won't pay the rent. I think you are very sensible to refuse to work with the current manager, for lots of reasons but mainly because she is not doing a proper job of work, which would drive me crazy. I hope you and DD both get your owed pay very quickly and that DD can sort out signing on etc. without any fuss. The moral high ground is definately yours and when the business does go awry as I think it will, you won't have to worry. Good on you both, Cheers Lyn xxx.

shegar

kidcat wrote: »

Have skipped forward just to reply to shegar, will go back later as I am out at moment, a compliance officer visit is not necessarily to check you, they send them out to check that the depts involved are doing things properly. We had a visit a few years ago as were receiving a small amount of housing benefit, I was so worried and panicked then they arrived and explained they have to check so many cases to audit staff, she checked all our stuff and explained where the staff had done it wrong and how we were actually entitled to a little more, she sent a report a few weeks later and then our benefit was increased and backdated,

So please don't worry its likely not to be them checking you,

Yes thanks for the reply, im not really worried about what they want to see us for cos we have nought to hide, its just the stress hubby is under, but thats my fault for telling him, I should have kept it from him until we got a knock on the door..........

Never mind, we will get through it, im just getting the paperwork out that the letter says they want to see ..................

So cold outside , hubby ia a bed with the electric blanky, and im in the sitting room with the fire a light , guess where the dogs are.?.......sheila.