Shy groom wants us to Elope!!

fififofum

Hello everybody.

Long story short: My other half is dead against a "traditional" wedding with speeches etc etc. He has said he would prefer just the two of us and then later on have the marriage blessed in a church and a reception.

He thought we could have a holiday of a lifetime and while we are there get married. My only concerns are, the visas etc and other docuements required in some places.

Has anyone eloped? Where did you go? Was it good? Did you then have a party when you got back?

I have a couple of years (2009/2010) to sort this as I dont want to get married until i have paid off my debts and have saved enough to do it!!

newleaf

Yes, I can recommend eloping! Most holiday companies are happy to do a wedding package, but you can end up being the centre of attention that way. We sorted ours out independantly online before setting off, found a hotel we liked the look of, and their wedding co-ordinator organised the Registrant, flowers,cake & photo's. I think we had to have some documents witnessed by a Notary Public in this country and send them off so long before the wedding, and we had to be 'resident' for so many days before we could get married. Apart from that, it was all very straightforward. See my post from a previous thread here:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=4829468#post4829468

Debt_Free_Chick

fififofum wrote: »

Long story short: My other half is dead against a "traditional" wedding with speeches etc etc. He has said he would prefer just the two of us and then later on have the marriage blessed in a church and a reception.

Oh boy - can I really relate to that. My own view (and others will disagree) is that a declaration of such promises is an intimate and personal thing, between the two parties concerned (and, if you feel that strongly, to include God too).

Some weddings seem to be a case of "look at the great bash we've put together (and funded!) so you lot can get p!$$ed at our expense!!!!". Or "look at how much we've splashed out to show you all how to organise a wedding"!!

He thought we could have a holiday of a lifetime and while we are there get married. My only concerns are, the visas etc and other docuements required in some places.

Not a problem with some advance planning. The majority of good tour operators will organise everything for you or tell you exactly what is needed. Kuoni, for example, are brilliant at this.

Has anyone eloped? Where did you go? Was it good? Did you then have a party when you got back?

No - but tempted

I have a couple of years (2009/2010) to sort this as I dont want to get married until i have paid off my debts and have saved enough to do it!!

Then any issues with visas, permits etc can easily be sorted out during this time.

But you both need to talk about how you see "the ideal day" and be prepared to compromise. It shouldn't be his wedding - but then it shouldn't be yours either. It needs to be the day that you will both look back on with pride ... and lots of love

fififofum

Thankyou Newleaf and thankyou Debt_free_chick. Its difficult at the moment as its all hush hush! He dropped some hints in Feburary about going shopping at the weekend (which we never do). He wanted me to choose a ring and then propose (after asking my dad) - Which he hasnt done yet, so I cant tell anyone as I dont want my family to be the last to know, plus he hasnt actually asked me yet!!! We have been going out for 4.5 years and living together for 3 years. He says he just wants me to be his wife simple as that - which is romantic. I have said I dont want to til I have paid off my debts as I have always been very independently minded.

newleaf

I'll keep this quiet then. *congratulations and good luck!* :beer:

Fitzio

Hi Fififofum,

My fiance feels the same as your boyfriend. He wanted to have a very small wedding with only parents and siblings in attendance, but I wanted at least to have my closest friend there! Rather than have a very small wedding here, we have decided to go to New York and get married in Central Park. We are taking our parents, siblings & partners, and 1 friend & partner each. He would happily do it without the friends, but I want my best friend as a bridesmaid. He didn't want a best man, but I have convinced him to have his friend (he doesn't need to do a speech at such a small do) as I feel I have compromised a quite a bit!!
We are undecided whether to have a party on our return. From my initial enquiries, a wedding reception in a nice restaurant in New York isn't going to be as cheap as one of the all inclusive resorts, but it's what we would prefer. Plus we know our families have either been and enjoyed NYC, or would like to go anyway! Not sure whether to use a company like Kuoni to organise things, but for New York weddings, the price doesn't include much more than the marriage so it might be cheaper although more challenging to organise things ourselves.

Just do what is right for you and your boyfriend!

lynnemcf

What about eloping to Gretna Green? I got married there (4 years ago this week) and I noticed a thread on here about Gretna. Then you can have the honeymoon of your dreams, without worrying that you wont have the right documents, etc.

I didnt choose the cheesy anvil route ... I chose the registry office, and it was wonderful ... we even had strangers as witnesses.

http://www.gretnaonline.net/

fabwitch_2

We got married in Las Vegas. It is so easy you do not need visa if you have a uk passport. when we arrived in Vegas we went to the registry office and filled in the form to say you want to get married and the next day we got married in the Minte Carlo Hotel. After we walked arould the strip still in my wedding dress and had a meal at the Hard Rock Cafe which was fantastic. Most of the Hotels do wedding packages or you can marry in one of the chapels. Its so easy to do you could book afive night break and get married and then come back and let everyone know. Most of the wedding ackages includes photos and you can have the service recorded at an extra cost.

Becles

lynnemcf wrote: »

What about eloping to Gretna Green? I got married there (4 years ago this week) and I noticed a thread on here about Gretna. Then you can have the honeymoon of your dreams, without worrying that you wont have the right documents, etc.

I didnt choose the cheesy anvil route ... I chose the registry office, and it was wonderful ... we even had strangers as witnesses.

http://www.gretnaonline.net/

I did the "cheesy anvil route", but it wasn't at all cheesy. It was very romantic and special.

We only had family and close friends there. We made a weekend of it and all stayed in the same hotel. It was great fun, and I enjoyed more than a traditional wedding.

dianadors

Eloping sounds really romantic!!! Do it!! Weddings must be sheer hell for most blokes.

glenstan

Dear daughter was married at new year in gretna green ,she always from being a teenager, said when she got married she did not want a fuss. Last month, DD and her DH got their wedding blessed and their son christened at the same time. This way most of attention was on the baby and not so much on the happy couple , exactly what my daughter wanted. We had a big party afterwards for both occasions. The rest of our very large family were told before the wedding day that D.D. wanted to just go and be married with no fuss . No one objected, but me ,I was worried she would regret not having a big wedding in the future . Everything turned out well on the day of blessing/ christening, I had a brilliant time showing of my beautiful grandson to every one present.