i feel trapped...

HoneyAndLemon

As the title suggests really. I feel trapped in my job and I'm only 23. This may be a long one..

Background:
I went to uni away from home to study psychology. Dropped out at the start of 3rd year (it was a 4 year course). I was doing fine grades wise, but was really depressed. Hadn't settled at all away from home and was extremely lonely.
So moved home in september 2009, & it took until june 2010 to find a full time job. I did have 3 temporary part time jobs from sept-june. I also met my OH in december 09.

I applied to start a teaching degree in september 2010 in a teacher training uni. Passed the interview etc, but had to wait for A level results in august 2010 to come out before I'd find out if I got a place (even though I got my a levels in 2007). They decided to only take people with all A's or A*s. I got ABB (which was the grades you officially needed). So that ruled that out. I imagine it's much the same now.
Meanwhile I carried on working in the call centre for a bank full time. Really didn't enjoy it but it gave me a salary every month. Then me & OH got engaged in march 2011, and moved in together in april 2011.

And here I am in october 2012. Still working for the bank, now in a branch, and I feel stuck. I really don't like my job, but ive got rent, bills, wedding to save for etc. I also have about £8k of debt built up. It's all on 1 loan at £200 per month so it is manageable. I know I'm lucky to have a job at the minute, but the environment is horrible.

I also recently had a miscarriage. I hadn't even got my head round the whole pregnancy thing when it happened. I found out I was pregnant about 7 weeks ago, was very sick for about 2-3 weeks, was hospitalized I was so bad, then about a week later lost the baby.

The whole thing made me take a step back and look at my life. I'm still so young, and yet I feel like I have the worries of a 40 year old. I spend everyday worrying about money. We never go out. I come home from work most days in tears.
I was registered to start modules with the open university to finish of my psychology degree in september, but with the pregnancy thing I missed the start of it & withdrew from the course. Being honest though, psychology isn't my thing. My heart tells me I want to be a teacher, but I feel like I can't do it now, that its too late. I'd have to go back to uni from scratch, and I just dont know how I could afford it now. I asked my mum if we could move in with her so we could afford for me to study again (she lives on her own in a 3 bedroom house), but shes just got a new boyfriend & wants her privacy.

So we've nowhere to go, we have to keep renting. I can't just give up my job & go study. I also cant just leave my job until I get another one, and with having no qualifications there's not much else I can do that won't be very similar to what I do now.But I just don't know much longer I can cope working for the bank. The pressure is unreal, and some of the customers are horrible.

Most recent example, my last customer on Friday evening, was depositing a cheque; asked him to pop his debit card into the chip & pin (I did say please), keyed in the cheque, asked him to 'take your card out there for me',he then proceeded to critise me for having no manners & a bad attitude for not saying 'take your card out please'. I'm a really polite person, it was just a quick request. He even asked to speak to the manager about my attitude etc. Now I'm the baby of the branch, most of the rest of them are 40+, I can't imagine he'd have said the same to one of them. The other people round me said I'd not been rude to him in any way, and that he is known for me a serial moaner, but it still upset me. I try so hard yet I take grief over the smallest things. I think a lot of the customers think they can critise me easier because I'm young. Add that to the constant sales pressure etc & it's just a nightmare.

But where is there to go where I won't have to deal with the same sort of thing? With my lack of any qualifications there's not much else out there. I'm a smart girl, and I'm a hard worker, and I know I'm capable of doing really well someday & having a great career, but I'm afraid I've messed it all up already.

I dont know what I expect anyone to say. I just needed to let this all out I think. I feel so trapped. What should I do?

Sorry for the long post but my head is all over the place.

Any

You are thinking 'looser' so soon.
You ARE young and it's never too late. I am 30 in a few months and I only finished my qualifications at the beginning of this year!!!
You need to decide what it is you want and then STICK WITH IT.
You only 'think' what is needed to start Uni for teaching. You are not keeping an eye on it? You said you really want it..

whitewing

You are young and have lots of possibilities ahead. You don't have to have your life all sorted out by now.

You want

to pay off debt
get out of your job
study for a career
recover from pregnancy problems
get married

You can't do it all at once. You can do some of it. Skills of dealing with people that you are using in the bank right now will be great whatever route forward your life takes.

Could you get some experience of working/volunteering in a school before you set your heart on teaching?

HoneyAndLemon

Yeah, I've had teaching experience in a school. I did it when I was applying for the teaching uni, and didn't have a full time job. I've always wanted to be a teacher. By doing so many things I don't like, I've at least learnt what I would like to do. I just don't know how to do it.

If I finish my psychology degree through the open uni, it won't take that long, and I could continue working, which is fine, however I would have to do secondary school PGCE, and I would prefer primary school.

If I was to study something like English so I could go for a primary school PGCE, I'd have to start from scratch. This would take years if I did it through open uni part time & cost a fortune. I don't see how I could afford to go full time, either at open uni or a normal uni. Open uni is more realisitic as its cheaper. I don't think I'd get any more student finance if I went back to normal uni.

I rely so much on my salary now. We just about get by each month.

whitewing

I think the OU have careers advisors? Why don't you speak to them, if only to clarify your thoughts.

Could you finish your psychology degree anyway if it won't take too long? It would still be a useful qualification to have and would account for your time. Or does that make doing English completely unaffordable?

Would a teaching assistant job be too different? It may be a way of working while you finish your current degree, although competition is fierce for those.

Do you and OH pool your finances or keep them pretty separate? There may be more wriggle room if they are pooled but you are young and it may be too early for that.

HoneyAndLemon

Our money is pooled. I do a budget every month. Which we usually stick to. Every time we've built up a bit of savings, something comes up, so we've nothing saved at the minute. Also just booked a holiday for next year. Haven't been away in over a year, and it's not until next September, but just after the pregnancy thing we needed something to look forward to. Now I've booked it, I just feel guilty and stupid for making another commitment, as that will be the next few months savings accounted for.

I never thought of the teaching assistant thing, I will look into that. Wouldn't I need qualifications for that?

Its pretty much finishing off the psychology degree, and going for the secondary PGCE or something related to psychology. Or completely going for it, and doing something like English from scratch & doing the primary PGCE.

Or neither. I just don't know! I think you're right though, I need to get advice from somewhere.

whitewing

Finish your psychology degree. Then you can decide if you want to do another degree to go into primary teaching. You may feel different about secondary school teaching as you get slightly older; what is it that puts you off that, or particularly appeals for primary?

Why don't you also research working with children in general. There may be other jobs that you are not aware exist that may combine psychology with helping youngsters develop themselves.

Savvy_Sue

There are routes into teaching other than through PGCE, and it would be worth you looking into those. But whitewing gave good advice: you can't do it all, all at once, and don't underestimate the effect of a miscarriage.

Racheldevon

I am a psychology graduate - one thing to consider, given that you say psychology isn't really your thing, is what you'd hope to gain from an undergraduate degree. As youre probably aware it's a popular subject at undergrad level, and if you have aspirations to work within any of the psychology fields in terms of clinical, forensic, education etc, you need to be prepared for the long haul, because you need at least a MSc plus chartership for the forensic route, and the doctorate for the clinical etc, all of which are hugely competitive, with very few places each year. However, i'm guessing from you saying it's not your thing, that you're hoping to use it as a spring board to other things.

Re the miscarriage, you might want to see if there's alow cost counselling service - most cities/towns have one, also there's lots of help online:

http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/support/

Sambucus_Nigra

I only started my degree at 29!

Give yourself a break. There are ways and means. They wouldn't let me do teacher training [after being in the big wide world, at worker, supervisor, manager and director level] because I didn't have GCSE English. I have got an A Level and a Degree but apparently it wasn't good enough.

However i did my degree in my own time and that led to getting a decent job - and then moved up through the ranks [and it was a degree I wanted not one I thought I wanted when I was early 20s] - and now I'm doing my Diploma in teaching and have been teaching SEN kids for 3 years now.

There are other ways of doing what you want to do. Give yourself time to work it all out.

denla

A bank job is better than a number of others, and you're engaged. Plenty of people at the age of 30 are cleaning toilets or unemployable, and still single. You're doing fine compared to many.