In a panic - flat about to be reposessed

whitewing

Good to hear you sounding brighter.

You are making excuses about the lodger. When I was a lodger I was really quiet and met my friends elsewhere.

Cool_Chick

Voyager2000, you lovely person!

Thank you so much for reassuring me. So I shouldn't panic? Yes, £3k seems like chicken-feed in the whole scheme of things. Although they do have crazy fees that they charge on top. Some of them do not even sound legal. They want to sent a Field Agent to me within 7 days and I will be charged £48 if I don't open the door and speak to them. Yet I might not be home. So why can they not make an appointment?

I phoned my local Shelter branch 2 weeks ago and they said that I need to call their Homeowner line first then be referred. But they are so busy. I think the lines open at 8am tomorrow. I will try them again. I'll try the CAB too, but I didn't find them of much use before. But I do need to try them. Tomorrow will be busy.

I did try the council a few years ago, but I can't exactly remember the outcome. I think they visited and said that I need to renovate the flat first. But thank you so much for this tip. I will get on their website now. That would solve a lot of problems.

If I could rent privately with my cat, that would be perfect. But I don't think you can get Housing Benefit for 5 years if you lose your home. They say you need to prove that you did not make yourself homeless on purpose. Repossession papers should cover you, but it is so hard to get the council to ever reconsider their easy option. And in that time I would have nowhere to stay.

Ok, I'm feeling so much more positive now! I am so, so grateful to you all.

Just a question, does anyone out there have a "happy" life? What is it that makes you happy? I'm just curious.

whitewing

I am a lot less stressed since I joined MSE and began to get to grips with finances. For me, contentment is being able to consider decisions and not firefight all the time. Happiness is the ability to 'be in the moment' as far as I am concerned.

houseiseverything

I have just read your thread, what you are going through is dreadful, but you have had some great advice. I can't add to it, but wanted to add my support. I love cats, and have 2, and a few weeks ago when I was at my lowest ebb all I could think about was being homeless with my 2 babies. I went to the CAB and they were wonderful, they give you all the options.

I think the cleaning sounds like a great idea- I have done it myself in the past, and even though its not much money it helps. Also, you never know where it leads- you meet new people. Have you thought about housesitting for people- there are lots of companies on the internet. I bet if you got housesitting work your local Cats Protection would look after your cat while you were away. Our branch would do that I know.

I really do wish you all the best- and please please keep posting and reading here, this forum has saved my life over the past few weeks. And go to your GP tomorrow- your cat needs you!x

theoretica

If you are really cold you can improvise double glazing by taping plastic sheet over the windows- even cling film will do something. There are often free insulation offers which might be worth investigating if your flat has cavity walls or is just below the attic.

With lodgers it is your home, your rules, and your choice who to rent to. If you want someone quiet who loves cats say so. Though when I rented a room my landlady's cat would sleep on my bed a night rather than hers so you might get jealous! If you really want to maximise your rental income you could be the one to move into the tiny spare bedroom and rent out the larger room.

That said I wouldn't want a lodger myself so I can see why you are resisting the idea, but like to think could bite the bullet if I needed one.

cod3

Cool_Chick wrote: »

And Whitewing, I've just found a barrier. I only have one bathroom. And my baby is sprawled out fast asleep on the mat by the radiator right now. What if a lodger wanted to pee in peace? Or make reasonable noise? I stay silent when my baby sleeps but a lodger wouldn't. And they would scare my baby. Especially if they had friends over. It just wouldn't work.

I live in a very lively, noisy house. Despite the kids, music, xbox war games etc, the cats still manage their 18 hours of sleep a day. Never underestimate a cat's ability to sleep

Cool_Chick

Oh, I wish I could hug you all! I am so very grateful to each of you (but not MartinSmythe). Thank you for taking the time to read my posts and for responding to me.

Theoretica, you're right, I should be able to choose the type of lodger I want. And I can't believe that I am making so many excuses. I don't even recognise myself. When I bought here I was a different person. I always thought I'd easily find a job (any job), or be able to rent it out. I'm in the middle of London! I was young, feisty, confident. That was over 7 years ago. Now I'm a stranger to myself.

But if my cat slept on my lodger's bed I'd have to teach him a lesson! There'd be no more delicious Hill's Science Plan for him, it would be Sainsbury's Basics everyday!

And Houseiseverything, thank you for caring for two furbabies. They must love you very much. And I'm sorry to hear that you were also worried about homelessness. I'm very glad that the CAB could help you. Are things all ok now? And yes, maybe I will see my GP soon. I do feel stronger now after speaking with you all. All I want to do is protect my cat and keep him safe. Thank heavens I don't have children!

And Whitewing, that is interesting. We are always taught to strive for more so that we never enjoy the "now". With me, I just keep wanting the past. I've had a great life, and I rue the day that I took out the mortgage. Everything changed then. So you would say that you are very happy with your life now, today? That sounds like a very good situation to be in!

ILW

Cool_Chick wrote: »

Thank you both.

My flat is approx 900 sq ft - a victorian house conversion across 3 floors. Very close to Fulham Broadway tube in London. Chelsea border. So the price is mostly due to the location. I got it cheap as it needed all this work done, but I never could afford to do it up. So it's really on its last legs.

It needs around £15k- £20k spent on it to make it decent - new kitchen, new bathroom, level the floors, replace windows, sprucing up. I've had quotes.

I know it won't rent but I'll ask the Estate Agent too this week.

It's probably worth half a million as it stands, unless there are lease issues or something.

whitewing

I have mh issues that are still being addressed/understood that stem from childhood. I have had suicidal thoughts since childhood, so much so that I thought everybody had them. I am a lot, lot better now but I know exactly how the thoughts can seem a very valid pathway.

Am hopefully being referred for counselling. I think that I will be able to be joyful in the future. I am mostly content now but do lack spontaneity (which is not the same as irresponsibility), which I think is needed for happiness. I restrict my life unnecessarily and that of my husband and children, but am beginning to understand that. Anti depressants have really helped me.

MSE was/is one of the most important elements in my life and in helping me sort myself out. That is why I try to help on here. I can type when I can't talk to people or don't want to leave the house.

I do know that I felt that I got knockback after knockback after knockback in the early days of being on here (not from MSE users, just from life). But I have simplified life to basics (ie home is important, house isn't; husband + children important, other people less so - but still of course have to be respected). Once the most important stuff was decided, then the extras come by themselves. I still have wishlists but they are nice to haves, not something to beat myself up about not having.

houseiseverything

PS You asked what made us happy... A month ago I remember shouting that I would never be happy again and that my life had been ruined (partner told me he had debts of 50k...) However, small things do make me happy! My lovely furry girls always. Today? I sold a jacket on ebay for £21. The wine we made from a kit 2 weeks ago tastes great, and works out at £1 a bottle. Strictly Come Dancing. Helping you- if I have in some small way. The simple things are the best, and we have to take pleasure from them. So today, I do feel happy- and we still have the 50k debt! x