Advice needed

bunney1981

My girlfriend was told that she would never have children, yet 16 weeks ago we found out she was pregnant, which was amaizing, Id planned to ask her to marry me at some point in 2013

but tonight she seems to have dropped me a massive hint by saying she wanted to have the same surname as me and the baby.

Now im thinking of popping the question at xmas, but it doesnt leave me alot of time to save for a ring,

i think we would be looking to get married spring 2014, which gives us time to save and get settled with the new baby,

can anyone offer me any advice on how much i should look to spend on the ring, if others have been in a similar situation?

gadgeteer_2

I had similar dilemma to yourself a while back.

In the end I opted to buy a 'Marry me' ring from H Samuel which is basically a cubic zirconia ring which looks like an engagement ring. It cost me £50 and apparently you get £50 off if you later buy your engagement ring from them too. That said, their diamonds are not the best quality!

Anyway, I'm digressing. The reason I chose to do it this way is because as other ladies will quickly point out. Unless you know exactly what she wants, you may be spending a lot of money on something she might not like.

Plus my fiancee really enjoyed the whole ring shopping experience and I'm glad she got to do it. It was a really exciting time for her and she got exactly the ring she wanted.

It also gives you the chance to talk about a budget too and give you time to save up. Rather than rush now spending money you don't have just to pop the question before xmas.

Oh congratulations on the pregnancy by the way!

curlygirl1971

Many congratulations

Ignore all the rubbish about spending 1,2,3 months salary on a ring

Spend what you can reasonably afford in the circumstances and talk to her about it - she may have an opinion on where money is best spent for the near future?

If you can afford a diamond engagement ring and want to spend the money on that then see if you can get to the Jewellery Quarter in Birmingham. We got a ring there recently for £1200 that would have cost £2500 on the high street.......to give you an indication of savings. I believe there is a similar area in London - Hatton Gardens? Have a scout around on this forum - I think there is an engagement ring thread.

Online suppliers such as Blue Nile are another option (cheaper than high street) - but do your research first so you know what you're buying. Just had a quick look and a 0.3 carat diamond of good colour, clarity and cut set on a standard gold band is about £450.

By the way, Goldsmiths (high street jewellers) take club card reward vouchers.

cats2012

I agree with the above - if you can afford something then great but don't spend now for the sake of it when you've got a baby coming!!

the proposal will mean so much more so I'm in the camp of get her a simple ring, H Samuel is one option but other places do similar, and then buy the "proper ring" with her and when you've got some more money.

I have a "fake" engagement ring that I wore for a holiday to Thailand as I didn't want to risk losing my real one - it cost £20 and looks just like an expensive one unless you get close, so she can still wear something pretty

sheeppappar

Hello there and congratulations x

I think gadgeteer is spot on.

My boyfriend proposed to me 2 weeks ago with a comedy plastic ring - really blingy and shiny - because he didn't know what kind of style I would want. I was totally thrilled as the thing that was important to me was that he wanted to marry me, not that he gave me a particular piece of jewellery! If you just do something similar then you can choose a ring together and then you can find out what her expectations re cost are!

He proposed while we were on hol and actually bought the real ring while we were away (Spain) - it's totally gorgeous and was actually in a 1/2 price sale so came in at £600!
XX

trinity_enigma

You can do a proposal without the ring which is what my h2b did- he actually presented me with a certificate which allowed me to look at rings in shops lol and we went ring shopping the next day!

Come to think about it, he still hasn't asked me to marry him...

katie1812

Definitely spend what you can afford... and with a baby on the way your money will be going towards him/her - congrats

Like others have said, asking with no ring isn't a problem, it will allow time to save and time to decide what your girlfriend really wants.

Zlata

For what it's worth, I agree with all of the above. For me it was the proposal that mattered, not the ring. And in reality unless you are very familiar with her tastes (ie. she already wears lots of rings), then it's going to be hard to select a ring. Even amongst the standard solitaires there are heaps of variations that either you love or hate. It's also a lot of money (whatever you spend) and something you wear everyday, so I wanted to make sure I really loved it and to be honest h2b could never really have been expected to find that ring on his own.
If she's like me, definitely don't worry about actual amount spent (as even 1 month's salary is a shed load of money!), as as long as she loves it, she loves it regardless of cost.
My temporary ring (which I wore for about 8mo!) totally fell apart in that time, which I hoped wasn't some kind of metaphor for our relationship!!

JoJoArmani

My oh went with his friend and chose my ring without me knowing. It was from Warren James and less than £100.

No one apart from us 3 know it was a cheap ring - however it does have real diamonds :-) I love it as he chose it for me. If the ring is not quite to her taste then you can go together to change it.

Kids are expensive and weddings are nearly as expensive - so I would go low end of the market and in time you can buy an eternity ring that is more expensive.

I think she will love anything you get her - she is expecting your baby and has already hinted at the name thing - so go for it!!!!

faithless

Congratulations!

I'm also in favour of a cheap temporary ring - I'm sure from her hints that she cares more about you asking her than waiting for the perfect ring.

My partner proposed with a temporary ring made of silver and cubic zirconia, saying as I was going to wear it forever he wantes me to pick something I 100% liked. I wore that for a couple of months til we had time to go ring shopping and find one we both liked -we ended up in Birmingham Jewellery Quarter which I cannot recommend enough as they are about half-two thirds of the price of high street and much more selection.

I know people say you can propose without a ring, but what I really liked was that although the temporary ring was cheap it was really pretty and I had a ring from day 1 that I could show people and squeal over! You should be able to get a silver/9 carat gold and CZ ring for £20-30.

Good luck!

purple_button

Congratulations!
When my H2B proposed he used a temporary ring (that he'd actually made from silver wire and a purple glass bead - it was amazing, but cheap to do too!) and we went ring shopping together for my 'proper' ring. He said he'd rather I chose my ring as I'd be the one wearing it everyday!
I know some people think it is more romantic when the guy chooses the ring, but i don't agree!