Huge Debt and First Time Buyer ADVICE PLEASE

Melissa177

kenshaz wrote: »

So very wrong,your state of mind stops you being miserable not money.

And when you have no money, this certainly affects your state of mind.

My family have been very rich, and very very poor, and there were always a lot less arguments and much more contentment in the house when we had money.

MortgageMamma

I am wealthy. I live in a half a million pound house that I rent, if I didnt live here I'd be in a three bed terrace somewhere all squashed up, but this place is stunning, a listed building 300 years old set on a farm on the edge of a lake in the middle of nowhere - who wouldnt want to bring their kids up like that?

I'm at the beginning of my career and I have had to invest a LOT of money into my new company and my childcare fee's cripple me at 300 a week, I need to make 3k a month before I even think about putting food on the table and thats a real pressure sometimes - being the main breadwinner and a good mother AND running a business is not easy, but I thrive off the challenge and I truly enjoy my dealings with (almost) every client I work for

Mr Helpful has a wonderful lifestyle, one which, when I am his age in 20 years time I aspire to replicate in some ways - I wont go into detail because he is very private person about his private life - but he does not live lavishly by any means but knows how to enjoy himself and live life to the full. He has various interests outside of mortgages and actively helps his community through these interests, and I can say hand on heart that if he was motivated by financial reward alone he would be no friend of mine!

He is a very content man with a clear mind and a straight to the point attitude. This is something I'm learning with practice. It is too easy to be influenced by the viewpoints of others sometimes if you do not have time to contemplate your own feelings on the many issues we are faced with day to day

You are right in your signature, I still read it once in a while. Most people on the site change theirs from time to time but yours have remained constant. If that is how you feel then you are on a higher level than most, truly enlightened and a lucky fellow indeed!

Night night

MM x

kenshaz

Melissa177 wrote: »

And when you have no money, this certainly affects your state of mind.

My family have been very rich, and very very poor, and there were always a lot less arguments and much more contentment in the house when we had money.

I need to stand in your shoes to understand,money offers solutions that is my explanation ,interpret it how you wish .

MortgageMamma

The solution is always part of the problem

kenshaz

MM you are a special person and I really like you,I would not even respond if I did not ,I know that you are a wonderful Mum and your emotion overspills,never change or pretend.

MortgageMamma

I wont quote you on that in case you fall out with me about something again kenshaz

I am an emotional and caring person by nature, I have too much to go around so it all gets bottled up, its took me 31 years but I've finally in the last two years become content and realised whats important in life

I still do stupid things like fall asleep in the sun and end up looking like one of those pink n white nougat bars occassionally though:o

Mr_helpful

Money does not create happiness but it does buy a better clas of enemy.
Lack of money does not cause unhappiness. There are plenty of very happy poor people. People are unhappy because they desire something they havent got. Some people think they can buy it which is why rich people can be unhappy because they cant.
Back to the OP, If as she says she just wants somewhere nice to live it could be arranged on partners earnings even with the debt and they could be happy. If however she wants to keep up with the Jones and only have the sort of house he could afford without the debt then she will never be happy. She has to first accept the situation as it is without apportioning blame and then make the most of what they have got and then she might be happy.
Kenshaz I wasnt being rude generalising about the military and brainwashing. Whether a soldier or not an army does not work well unless it is brainwashed by the government / dictator it serves though it is interesting to note the British army was thrashed at Dunkerque and did not start to win until the men who didnt want to fight were recruited

kenshaz

MM I will never fall out with you ,because I am the type of person that you only have to smile at and all is forgiven.

MortgageMamma

kenshaz wrote: »

MM I will never fall out with you ,because I am the type of person that you only have to smile at and all is forgiven.

Good job you can't see me then I smile all the time! You sound like me with my kids and one special man. All they have to do is give me the sad eyes and I melt

Beleive me when I say I make a rod for my own back!:p

Mr_helpful

MortgageMamma wrote: »

The solution is always part of the problem

Wrong way round The problem is always part of the solution my little trainee