help - advice on mortgage/sale following split

jam14

Our daughter and boyfriend bought a house 6 months ago for around 100,000 - she put more money into the deposit & the solicitor drew a document up to that effect to get first money in first out if it was sold.

Problem is she has moved out and the relationship is over, he cant afford to buy the house himself or buy her out, she is happy to buy him out and with a little help can afford the mortgage in the banks eyes.

Problem is he is being hard and says he wont sell her the house but it can go on sale at the high end of the market (obviously to stall a sale whilst he lives there and she pays half the mortgage) Question is whats the best way forward when I present the options.

1. offer to let him buying knowing he cant
2. offer for her to buy him out
3. strip out all the appliances and furniture we paid for (which is everything) then get it valued hopefully forcing his hand as it will be an empty house.
4. As 3 but stop paying all bils & mortgage to try & force his hand.

I understand he will be just as upset at the moment as she is but we need to resolve this quickly for everyones sake, I believe the thinking in his mind is to have an easy life in the house whilst shes moved back home he can do as he pleases, he wants to wait a until the price rises but doesn't realise how much he will have to pay over that time, he is now looking to see what he can get out of it (after all our hard work & spendng I might add) solicitors fees may well put him off but really any suggestions for a plan of attack would be much appreciated.

Are we in our rights to bill him for jobs done as favours for her but not seen that way now?

We dont want to start playing hardball but if we are left with limited options whats best?

chesky

You need proper legal advice for this - get your daughter to make an appointment with a solicitor who specialises in family law. It's actually much trickier with people who are living together, rather than married. It will cost but be worth it in the long run. Might be helpful if you go with her and make notes - two brains better than one, etc.

jam14

thanks for that, I understand theres a complex legal route I'm just hoping for some advice initially from people who may have been in a similar position, there only young and neither will want costly legal fees..I'm more hoping for a way to gently persuade him by letting him see hes not going to make a fortune by dragging it out, the electrical & plumbing work we paid for will need looking at and various items he didnt pay for may be taken out, dont really want to persue such a route but being quite money orientated he wont pay for these items to be replaced so it may force his hand.

Can he legally say he will sell it but wont sell to her? I assume once its on the market he can still refuse her offer? if she wants to buy in advance can we make him liable for any selling fees that wouldnt be incurred with her taking it over??

holly_hobby

What you daughter is after is a transfer of equity (ie - his share is legally transferred to her, giving her 100% ownership).

However, although the bank may be happy with the figs, he still has to agree to the TOE being effected - which obv he won't.

But at the same time he can't dictate that he will only agree to release the property if its sold to A N Other - as that reqs your Ds signature (and just as he is refusing to give consent to TOE, she can refuse to give consent to sale ... and round and round we go).

She was silly to have moved out, but I'm talking from a neutral point of view, and can well appreciate that remaining resident may well have been impossible.

Getting access to remove the furniture may well (and probably) will, turn ugly - unless you do it when hes out at work - but you run the risk of his wrath being to wreck the property - and then no one's a winner.

The only way for this IMHO is to take it to court, and letting the Judge make his determination (which all things being equal and if a good case is presented, may be to instruct the TOE from him to her to settle the matter).

However, please exhaust all aimable routes first, explain to him that whilst he remains on the mge, he is also jointly and severally (ie singularly) responible for servicing the mge - that may make him sit up.

Has your D offered to pch his share for a monetary exchange ? If not, sometimes money talks and may help his decision along - and it may be worth it to be shot of him and the situation.

Obv seeking legal guidance is a forgone - but hopefully pursuing through legal channels will be avoided.

Hope this helps

jam14

thanks thats just the sort of advice, I just want all bases covered for when I go and talk through the options with him, I think it best I do it as emotions are running high, he is at heart a nice lad things are just raw at the moment so I'm hoping when presented with the various options he will see sense and agree to let her buy him out, anything else I mentioned would be a last resort as would the legal route.

holly_hobby

Thats certainly a good plan .... when you're hurting its only natural to lash out at the one causing your heartache ... (even if you know its wrong)

Wish your D and her ex well - difficult splitting, esp for parents caught in the middle and trying to manage the fallout !

Holly x

Thrugelmir

holly_hobby wrote: »

The only way for this IMHO is to take it to court, and letting the Judge make his determination (which all things being equal and if a good case is presented, may be to instruct the TOE from him to her to settle the matter).

Court is a very expensive option. A solicitors letter threatening a forced sale through the courts may focus the ex's attention to the position he is in.

Did the ex contribute a significant sum to the deposit?

Dave_Ham

As stated, if things go legal, it will end up costing a fortune. If both are working and assuming they are, both will have huge fees.

You cannot charge for works done and those sort of things, although you can scare him with the cost of things.

I assume he has parents or friends to go to, or otherwise the financial inducement may help.

Its a rubbish situation I am afraid, if you can make a small payment (above what is due) to make it go away naturally it may be worth considering - to motivate everyone along.

Also, it would be worthwhile your daughter checking with the bank in question that she would be accepted on a sole application basis or back to the drawing board as again likely to be more costs incurred.

Most people want closure after a split, a neutral visit from a parent on your own may help. Go round with your daughter and imagine that the wounds open and he will be defensive.

May also be worth her checking her credit files, just in case he does anything silly credit wise...

Best of luck

jam14

yeah already checked with the bank and if it comes down to it I will have my name put on it with her as we have no mortgage and they said it wont affect the terms just a name change.

What if when I go around he refuses to put it on the market let alone sell it to her?? need to try and visualise every possible scenario to have my ansers ready

Thrugelmir

jam14 wrote: »

What if when I go around he refuses to put it on the market let alone sell it to her?? need to try and visualise every possible scenario to have my ansers ready

Speak to a solicitor. A sale can be forced through the courts (at great expense). Though judges do not take lightly to having their time wasted. So no proper defence to the sale can result in all costs being awarded against the defendant. Hence my question about the deposit introduced. As there ideally needs to be a means of recovering the money.

Suggest you negotiate a compromise of a couple of months for the ex to find a new home. Again following this up with a letter from a solicitor. To reinforce the message and how seriously you view the matter.

jam14

Right it appears its more complex than I thought - because of the initial outlay we have a greater share than he does - I need to explain in simple terms basically that he wont make a killing - he thinks as they have renovated so much he has made loads of money, fact is she put in 70% to his 30% and in the deeds the first money out is there equal split (same each as he put in) then over that amount she starts to get more of hers back until its cleared then they share any profit over that mark.

He doesnt realise that his initial input say £5000 is still the same he thinks hes made money (hes trying to say all his hard work is worth something seems to forget the 3 of us did far more than him) I need to show him that even if he slogs it out for 2 years all he is doing is paying the equity that will go to her. I understand hes bitter and feels he is giving her the house but hopefully him seeing all he will do for 2 years is pay her more he may decide to bail out and let us buy his share.

Any further advice appreciated

ps. also becomes a priority or we will lose the equity, need to try and persuade him hes not in a good position.