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debt on ex partners cards

I may have posted this in the wrong forum previously. apologies for that.

I was with my partner for 6 years and during half that time he supported me whilst I was in school training. We accumulated a significant amount of debt on his credit cards. My share was about 12,000. After the first half of our relationship, I took over 3/4 of the expenses in the household expenses and have been trying to pay down this debt, while he has gone back to school. We split up about 1.5 years ago but I been trying to keep up with this debt obligation. I recently found out that he has been using these cards still so even though I'm trying to pay them off he is still accumulating on them. I'm worried that I'm going to be paying this off forever- especially since his interest rates are very high.

I tried to obtain a loan to pay off this debt on his card. I was initially approved through NatWest to cover this amount. But because I don't have a don't have an actually contract with my ex, NatWest is unwilling to issue a loan for this reason.

My question two fold:

1. Is there someone we can talk to to determine how much I actually owe on his cards and loans, taking into consideration my covering the last three years in payments, rents etc.

2.Is there a way to transfer the debt I've accumulated on his cards to me so that I can pay them off separate from him?

Thanks in advance

Comments

  • Nat1977
    Nat1977 Posts: 222 Forumite
    If the cards are in his name only, then you are not liable for the debt owed on them. Just pay him what you owe and stop paying his debt off for him :)
  • Tixy
    Tixy Posts: 31,455 Forumite
    Credit cards in his name are his responsibility. He owes all the money to the credit card company. He owes the interest. And if he chooses to keep spending then he owes that as well.

    If you feel you owe him money, it is him that you owe not his credit card company. Which is an entirely different matter, any payments you make should go to him directly.
    A smile enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give
    or "It costs nowt to be nice"
  • BlushingRose
    BlushingRose Posts: 1,621 Forumite
    I would stop paying off his cards if I were you as he's actually using them.
    Our LBM: Dec 2011. DMP started: Jan 2012. Debt at LBM: £41,568

    Oct 2012 = Current debt: £40,548.93
    Oct 2013 = Current debt: £39.054.70


    DMP Support number 424 - Long haul number 308
  • EKAndrew
    EKAndrew Posts: 85 Forumite
    despite what the above 3 posters have said, I think its quite admirable what you are doing. You have openly admitted that you jointly aquired the debt, and although that it is in his name at high interest rates - you still both spent the money.

    IMO, its quite right that you try to pay (some of) it off - however, at some point i do think you need to draw the line if he continues to spend on it. (however if he has went back to school, he may not have any other income so is using the cards to live (not the best thing to do anyway)

    What is in your favour, is that if you speak to him and he doesnt listen to you or doesnt co-operate, then if you stop paying, you will not be affectde in anyway as it is all in his name.

    To the posters above - if you were in a long term relationship and needed your partner to support you - would you point blank refuse?

    I cant answer any of your questions as I think the answer will be very complexed.........all i can suggest is you speak to Natwest, explain the situation and see if they can provide you with a figure of what is owed if the debt was £12k and whatever the interest rate was minus the payments you have made. Whatever that figure is.......transfer him the money, tell him that is what you owe and you wont be making further payments to the credit cards

    but well done on being honest and paying what you rightfully (morally)owe and good luck!!!

    **oh, if you know what the interest rate is, could you play about with one of the snowball calculators - play with the dates and what you have paid?
  • Tixy
    Tixy Posts: 31,455 Forumite
    edited 18 October 2012 at 5:26PM
    EKAndrew wrote: »
    To the posters above - if you were in a long term relationship and needed your partner to support you - would you point blank refuse?
    People (well at least post #2 and #3) are not suggesting that the OP doesn't pay their ex-partner back. Just that they don't pay the card company directly.

    How much they might owe to ex we have no way of knowing. But if the debt was originally £12k and the OP has been making payments for 3 years whilst still in the relationship and 1.5years since then hopefully OP will have a fair idea as to how much they have paid off in the time.
    A smile enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give
    or "It costs nowt to be nice"
  • EKAndrew
    EKAndrew Posts: 85 Forumite
    ok tixy! i apologise! i may have misinterpreted those comments!
  • Delree
    Delree Posts: 540 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    I think that's fair, your share is £12k you say, work out what this is with associated interest, deduct what you've already paid and there is your balance.
    Pay him direct, if he misuses that money then that's his lookout but your obligation will be discharged.

    I have to say how refreshing your attitude is, a lot of threads on here are from people who have been left high and dry by taking on debt for a partner.
  • I think it's great that you have continued to pay your share of the debts when so many others would have run away and denied all knowledge. In my opinion his new spending is not your problem so just keep a tab on how much you are paying him and if when it reached 12K stop paying!
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