Not buying presents for adults

Lady_Aga

I have suggested to my family (sibilings/in-laws) that we don't buy each other any presents for birthdays and christmas any more. Just get the kids gifts. They agreed. It was to save money really. They know I'm broke and saving up for a big holiday. We have discussed how hard it is to get presents for adults and that 'I spend £20 on you and you spend £20 on me' doesn't always work cos we both end up with something we wouldn't buy for ourselves.

Now I'm beginning to worry that they will get me something and I will be embarrassed cos I don't have anything for them.....

cdsmiler

We did this with cousins last year, and everyone stuck to it. Basically you've suggested it, they've agreed, so don't worry if they DO get something as it's not your fault!! They're the ones who've gone back on their agreement!

The other option for adults is do a secret santa - put all names in the hat, everyone draws out a name, and they buy a present JUST for that one person based on a budget....

Clare x

[Deleted User]

We work on the basis that you get a birthday present every 5 years (e.g.
25, 30, 35...) and we do a secret Santa

However, there's now a growing number of nephews and nieces to buy for..

whitesatin

We have been doing secret santa for a good few years now but now I am bored of it. We spend £50 on one present for the person we get out of the name hat.

The trouble is that I love buying presents, hunting bargains etc. and always see things that I would like to buy for people. I have suggested that we do something different this year, e.g. all go out for a meal or something, but that is not really what I want to do. I want to come home laden with parcels and wrap them all up.

I think I live in a fantasy world. LOL.

MrsC....tobe

I told my sisters a few years ago that I wasn't buying for the adults anymore, only the children, as they decided that a small family wasn't enough each for them. As I have no children of my own they agreed to still get for me.
No I'm with Mr C, he has three children, and the rules stayed the same, they buy for adults, we buy for children (he didn't want his kids getting anymore as they always get soooo much from others), until last year one of them decided to buy for children only and the other still stuck to the original agreement.

I was a bit annoyed this year right enough when they decided to stop doing birthdays without consulting me and I only found out when I didn't even get so much as a card and I was already prepared for theirs coming round!

As it has been agreed between you both, you shouldn't feel guilty if you don't buy for them after all, anything extra they want to do is their choice!

HeadAboveWater

Lady_Aga wrote: »

I have suggested to my family (sibilings/in-laws) that we don't buy each other any presents for birthdays and christmas any more. Just get the kids gifts. They agreed. It was to save money really. They know I'm broke and saving up for a big holiday. We have discussed how hard it is to get presents for adults and that 'I spend £20 on you and you spend £20 on me' doesn't always work cos we both end up with something we wouldn't buy for ourselves.

Now I'm beginning to worry that they will get me something and I will be embarrassed cos I don't have anything for them.....

Exactly what I've done this year - cut out my siblings (4) plus BIL.

Eldest sister has 2 kids so will still buy to them.

OH and me agreed we're just gonna go away somewhere for a night

OH has 3 DD so will be getting something for them.

Mum and dad.

And 3 friends.

That's it

I've told siblings I don't want anything from them. Saving time, money and hassle for everyone. If they decide to get me something that's up to them. But I'm not gonna feel guilty or embarrassed if they do. I've been rather blunt (!) and given plenty of warning

Oh. And we've stopped with the birthdays too

my3girls

We buy for the kids and not the adults. I get token things for our parents, and my brother as he has no children but that's it.

I have a couple of cousins who I rarely see, I get the children presents but every year I get a gift from their mum. I have said numerously that I will not be buying presents for the adults so I've kind of resigned to the fact that it's her choice to buy for us and I won't feel guilty. Her mum (my aunt) buys for us too but i don't get them.

I make sure the kids send thank you letters :-)

I think the secret Santa is a fab idea, my friends and I do this with our children as there's just too many to buy individually, it really helps!

JJ
x

gibson123

We have long standing family rules on this. Made by my Mum I think.

Kids get prezzies until they are 16, they get an 18 and a 21 pressy.

Adults don't get pressies unless they are on their own (no spouse)

We have a huge family and there is always one part of the family in some sort of crisis - my nephew's family lost everything in a flood this year, we put together a huge shopping of all Christmas goodies and gift cards delivered a week before Christmas, so that no-one goes without. I was the recipient 2 years running.

System

we buy oh's side at Christmas until they are 18 and my side we buy birthdays-now that the next generation has stared we wont buy at all for them that's up to their parents and grandparents.

Always_after_a_bargin

This is the first year that we have done this, this year and its put people's noses well out of joint but I don't care. Many reasons really, last 6 months I think with one reason and another being the deciding factor, apart from a present to my mother in law from the kids we are only buying ourselves. my husband best mate and his wife who is a good friend of mine had said in front of me when I told them that they would be still buying for the kids regardless. I said we'll I hope you understand we have decided not too as we have holidays booked next year and as we are having a quiet christmas where there won't be any socialising over the three main days of Christmas. People, will still buy regardless of what you say but as I see it I have told them and said the wont be any gifts back so if they do it, they can't complain. I have already been called selfish and unthoughtful when saying I am spending christmas with just my kids and husband and we ain't buying but I really don't care to be honest x

HeadAboveWater

Christmas should be about being with the people you love, not the amount of money it costs!