Pension Mess - Not sure What to do

atush

cosmicDolphin wrote: »

Jamiefly - Thanks but I'm just not a believer in insurance, unless it's a legal requirement. Maybe it will come back and bite me but I'm comfortable with my 'risk'

Xylophone - Thanks I have spoken to my MD again, and he said he's willing to sort something out and pay some extra in for me. We'll see if he follows up on his word before he's legally obliged to.

That is the thing about life insurance. Wont bite you at all (unless your wife is run over by the number 19 bus and you need help at home with the kids).

Will bite the as* off your wife and kids though. I was insured even when not working so as to pay for a nanny for the boys if I shuffled off my mortal coil.

Surely with a mtg you have some insurance? Our mtg is tiny and requires one?

cosmicDolphin

sleepless_saver wrote: »

It would be more likely to bite your wife and children. Is she comfortable with the risk of losing her home and most of the family income as well as her husband?

Sorry if this sounds brutal, but there are plenty of sad threads on here by bereaved parents whose late spouses thought it would never happen.

It doesn't sound brutal, life happens and whilst most people don't plan on dying early I've had the same conversation with my family and every mortgage advisor that's tried to sell me some kind of cover.

1 - I'll be dead and won't worry about it ( aforementioned mortgage advisors often look a bit shocked when I say this )

2 - My wife would have no choice but to back to work, and possibly move back to the type of house we just sold. It wouldn't be the end of the world, it was a perfectly nice 3 bed semi. There's people far worse off, and there's a decent amount of equity in the house we have now.

I say this from the point of view of having one friend die of Leukemia aged 24, 2 colleagues die whilst I worked with them of a heart attack aged 56, and Pneumonia aged 28 and another at the same place that committed suicide after redundancy in his mid 30's.

I know I'm probably in the minority here but that's my outlook.

jem16

cosmicDolphin wrote: »

2 - My wife would have no choice but to back to work, and possibly move back to the type of house we just sold. It wouldn't be the end of the world, it was a perfectly nice 3 bed semi. There's people far worse off, and there's a decent amount of equity in the house we have now.

So with 3 children, aged 3 to 11, you just expect your wife to be able to hop back to work? What happens with child care that will become necessary and how will your wife and children manage whilst your wife finds this job?

I'm sorry, but I can only say thank goodness my late husband wasn't as selfish as you come over. It's bad enough losing a husband without having to worry about how you will keep a roof over your head at the same time.

xylophone

So your bereaved and grieving widow would have to find a job and child care and a new home for your bereaved and grieving children.....I'm appalled.
Your wife is perfectly relaxed about all this?

cosmicDolphin

atush wrote: »

I can only say Yikes!!!!!!

You seem to have spent every penny you have, and are a family man with mtg and a non working spouse and you have no emergency cash/

You must address this immediately without delay.

I understand you want to save on interest, but you won't save much if you were made redundant and lost the house.

Same with home schooling. You pay for school with your taxes. If you have emergency cash- go for it. But as you don't, I'd put home schooling away for a year until you build some up.

Well I wouldn't say spent EVERY penny.

There's the kids savings if things really got desperate which is £4-5k, plus I have about £2k in my own Family Bond from about 10 yrs back that I've kept going. There's always the Bank of the Boss at work, I know he's given most of the staff interest free loans for various things and bailed people out. He even let one guy live at his apartment when he split with his partner !

Up until 12 months ago we had loads of spare cash, we'd overpaid on the mortgage for 7/8 yrs because we knew we wanted a bigger home in a better area. I could have written a cheque for £40k from our One Account a year ago.

I'd made a 5yr plan and that culminated the move - but it took a career change, 3 job hops to a better paid position each time. Part of the problem of working in Sales is the Mortage Co's often don't take commission into account because it's not G'teed income so I needed a better basic. Manged to go from £14k to £30k in 7yrs to make the move possible.

We don't waste money...I've driven the same car for 10yrs and hadn't had a foreign holiday in 8 yrs until we got to use the free apartment this year. We don't eat out or buy takeaways, smoke , or drink. We do go out Geo-caching, camping or cycling and now get to take part in the social stuff in the village which is great because you can walk there and it's inexpensive plus the kids can all come too. So I think we've made the most of the money we do have, and like I said just plan on getting this mortgage down.

The 2 older kids are in decent schools now which was part of the reason for the move, but Son no.2 was seriously ill ( heart condition ) which is why my wife home schooled , and she doesn't want to miss out on that time spent with the youngest one so he won't go to a school until at least 6 or 7.

cosmicDolphin

jem16 wrote: »

So with 3 children, aged 3 to 11, you just expect your wife to be able to hop back to work? What happens with child care that will become necessary and how will your wife and children manage whilst your wife finds this job?

I'm sorry, but I can only say thank goodness my late husband wasn't as selfish as you come over. It's bad enough losing a husband without having to worry about how you will keep a roof over your head at the same time.

You say selfish, I say hard working optimist...depends on your perspective I guess. I supported my wife when she left her job to look after our ill son and agreed she should stay a full time at home mother.

She has the same outlook as me, pay down the mortgage as rapidly as possible and don't worry about the things that are unknowable.

I understand many others have a more cautious point of view and respect that.

cosmicDolphin

xylophone wrote: »

So your bereaved and grieving widow would have to find a job and child care and a new home for your bereaved and grieving children.....I'm appalled.
Your wife is perfectly relaxed about all this?

Yes & Yes...pretty big IF though..which is why I don't worry about it.

I'd rather she went back to the real world a than stay here isolated looking after the kids with no need to strive for anything.

She started a wedding photography business this year so hopefully that will take off over the next couple of years.

xylophone

Strictly speaking, the children's money is not yours to spend.
The bank of the Boss .....and if you lost your job or if he suddenly dropped off the twig?

You have a child in delicate health, children in local schools and a wife who wants to spend time with the children yet you expose her to the possibility of a much lower standard of living and having to move to a different area if you died or were killed.....time for a rethink about that insurance?

jem16

cosmicDolphin wrote: »

You say selfish, I say hard working optimist...depends on your perspective I guess. I supported my wife when she left her job to look after our ill son and agreed she should stay a full time at home mother.

And who will support her and the children whilst she looks for a job, child care and a new house?

cosmicDolphin

xylophone wrote: »

Strictly speaking, the children's money is not yours to spend.
The bank of the Boss .....and if you lost your job or if he suddenly dropped off the twig?

You have a child in delicate health, children in local schools and a wife who wants to spend time with the children yet you expose her to the possibility of a much lower standard of living and having to move to a different area if you died or were killed.....time for a rethink about that insurance?

I can close the Family Bond(s) whenever , though I never have and wouldn't unless it was some dire emergency.

Losing my job is extremely , extremely remote - but you'd have to work there and know the Boss to understand the situation. He's runs a profitable business but away from that is very asset rich , over 20 properties inc. 4 flats in Chelsea, a site that a motor auction company pays £900k a year to rent, a family that owns one of the main contractors for the Olympic stadium and many other iconic structures. So although it's a relatively small-med size Co. The risk of redundacies is ultra low, unlike some of the big corporate entities I've worked for where you're just a number. It's more like a family where I am now and he does look after us well even if he is a bit eccentric. I've been made redundant twice in my life and both times was able to get a job almost immediately, I think companies are always looking for sales/account managers with a proven track record.

Son No.2 was 'fixed' and is stable for 7 years now ( thankyou Birmingham Childrens Hospital )

Yes I've had all these arguments thrown at me by salespeople but it doesn't change my mind any more than I could convince you of the opposite.