advice needed very long post!!

hob

I need advice. I have a mental health illness and have beenoff work for a about 6 months. I have since gone back to my employer and agreedto retrain. This was presented to me asa option when I did my return to work. The other option being going back in to my job and shadowing someone asthings have changed in the past few months. I work in a contact centre.

This seemed like a better option as it would cover not onlynew processes but refresh my mind on what I had already done.

The training started ok but there was a new starter whostarted making me feel intimated, he would loudly talk about very sick things. Thingsthat I will not repeat but are the kind of things that go beyond anything I haveever heard.

I requested to move to a different desk. Someone was able to move desk just because theyfound the person sitting next to them to be annoying. No offensive or anything inappropriatejust annoying.

I requested to move to a different desk 4 times and reportedthe persons conduct to the HR department. Nothing was done. Even when I was intears and ready to walk out my manger said that I wouldn’t have to sit next tohim it had been resolved. It wasn’t. Eventually a new trainer took over the newhire group and moved my desk.

The person who is inappropriate and behaves in a terribleway. Is still there but as I’m not sitting directly next to him I feel a bitsafer. HR did have a word eventually about how to behave at work but this wasonly after the ceo of the company overheard this type of talk at the smoker’shut. Though even the chat with HR hasnot changed the way in which this man behaves.

I having gone through the training before have more in-depthquestions about the product or practises. And have asked the trainers to clarify some informationin which they are presenting. Some of the information they have given has been incorrectI have also raised this but in the most diplomatic ways I can think of. For example. Trainer-‘ We never say the sky is blue.’ Me- ‘We used to when did that change?’ I maybe have said this 3 times in the coursesof 50 hours in training. He would replysomething along the lines of ‘no we havenever said the sky is blue’

Alongside all of this I have been trying to get a welfaremeeting with my manger (and I assumed HR would be invited) this was an agreed weeklymeeting that has not materialised despite this being week 3 of my return towork. I have also emailed asked face to face and left messages trying toorganise my welfare meeting.

Yesterday I was in training when my manger appeared andasked if I could be excused she needed me. There was another manger with her, whichdid panic me slightly as I thought the meeting would be about my health (asthat was what I had requested over and over). This meeting was not about thatat all.

I was taken out of training to have a conversation about howmy questions in training were being seen as argumentative. This I am very shockedby because I have gone out of my way to ignore a lot of the misinformation and thethings that I genuinely didn’t know if the process has changed I have asked diplomatically.Or at least to the best of my ability. Andcompletely new things I have had normal questions about.

I was then told I shouldwrite my questions down and ask them at the end of the training to another memberof staff (this defeats the point of training dose it not? I could do thatwithout having to sit in the classroom and listen to a man talk all day) I wasthen told that it might be my tone etc. that’s upsetting the trainer. I have no reason to lie to a website that asno idea who I am. I do not believe I have a tone. I believe I am a politeperson who is trying to learn and rediscover information. My questions are alsoconfusing the other new members apparently. I can see how that could happen asmy questions are sometimes based upon having more product knowledge.

Because of the way in which the meeting was sprung on me andthe way it was conducted made me feel like I was such a inconvenience to the companyand to the trainers. It also made me feel like if they had a issue with me itwas of high importance and I must be removed from the group. All formal andsingled out but the new employee who is intimidating and disgusting is of suchlow importance. I got quite upset (remember long term mental healthissues) and decided to leave half a hourearly.

I did however say that I wanted a meeting with HR present assoon as possible. Still had not had my welfare meeting. So this morning I attend a meeting and HR isthere what they wish to discuss is my interpretation of yesterday’s events.( wedidn’t get around to talking about the new tablets my doctor intends to put meon because of the stress of work and how they may affect my performance ) This we talk about for a hour where they basicallysay you’re not being singled out or told off, but don’t ask questions. I say that’s what a trainersfor if it’s so disrupting to the group so much maybe I could go back to work withoutthe catch up training? Could be given in another format like shadowing or a oneto one with a senior team member. Or I could work through the tests and traininginformation at my own pace?(I believe this would take a day at most)

No my only option is to go back in to training but not be participatingwith questions. (although that’s not howit was said) All the options that I was offered before have now disappeared. I feelso upset by this whole situation. I do not feel any of this is fair treatmentand I have had 0 reasonable adjustments made to help me come back to work. That’sa slight lie I had to get my doctor to write to them to say that it’s not an unreasonablerequest that should I indeed have apanic attack or at work that I should beallowed to be go to my locker to take mypills.

I am possibly being unduly upset but the fact of this all isthat I have tried very hard to get well and return to work and I feel as thoughthings are being made difficult. This is making mw feel less in control I’m afraidof becoming ill because of it.

I was told today that I have to make a decision I go back into the group. Go back on sick. (I’m not sick and I told the HR staff when askedif I was ‘really’ well enough to do my job) or quit and I am meant to informthem by 6 today. Its almost 5 now.



I don’t know what to do. I physically can’t go back in that trainingroom I feel so unsupported and isolated. The worst part of it is I like my job I amgood at my job and if I was to be put back to work tomorrow I would be able todo my job.

lili2008

Go back in and keep shtum for the duration. How much longer does it last for? Then tackle the other areas as separate issues. Keep records, keep a diary, document everything and organise union representation if you can.

You have my sympathy. I know what it's like to have management boots on your neck. I think asking you to undergo retraining would be seen as a reasonable request so grit your teeth and don't give them a reason to discipline you for not doing so, let them walk towards a court case for failing in their duty of care to support your recovery.

ILW

Sorry, but you sound a complete and utter nightmare. It is not your place to question trainers.

hob

Thanks for your advice. I’m thinking that the best planwould be to go back, but all this stress really is making me ill! And I don’t wantto get ill to the point where I can’t fright it. I also don’t want them to beable to say well you did it so it must not of been that difficult.

If I don’t go back though I’m losing a really good job. Its such a shame.

By the way I meant reasonable requests from me under the disabilityact they are a meant to consider my requests. Things like a phased return to work.

hob

ILW wrote: »

Sorry, but you sound a complete and utter nightmare. It is not your place to question trainers.

WhenI say im questioning the trainer its only so I can understand my job. So I can then go and explain it to our customers.if i dont understand I wont be able to do my job.


Might be a little bit of a nightmare , but if I preformbadly I will be delivering a bad customer service and I would hate to do that.

lili2008

hob wrote: »

Thanks for your advice. I’m thinking that the best planwould be to go back, but all this stress really is making me ill! And I don’t wantto get ill to the point where I can’t fright it. I also don’t want them to beable to say well you did it so it must not of been that difficult.

If I don’t go back though I’m losing a really good job. Its such a shame.

By the way I meant reasonable requests from me under the disabilityact they are a meant to consider my requests. Things like a phased return to work.

Yes it is a reasonable request. That's separate from the reasonable request of theirs to retrain. My strong advice to you is to sit quietly through the training, then tackle the other issues separately. I'm not saying it's necessarily fair but if you don't, you might be giving them material to get rid of you.

Sooki

Do what lili says, it is very sensible advice.

Keeping a diary when things are like this is a very empowering thing to do, just make sure no-one else can get their sticky paws on it & take it to your HR meetings it is a powerful tool.

There is also a chance that the annoying person is being dealt with (or they are someone's relative) but it would be unprofessional for HR to discuss this with you.

I think most places have a grievance procedure if things go too far you could instigate this , but make sure your diary is tickety boo if you have to go this far.

Look up constructive dismissal, I would leave something about to focus their minds a bit, not too obvious through just a article or something. Nothing that points to you personally.

Also too much questioning could be disruptive to the training, let the annoying person carry on and if you are in a position to record their behaviour do it and add it as part of your diary.

Sooki

Ooh yep! And make sure you have a copy of the diary somewhere very safe, &keep it factual so they can not come back on you with it, But put down how you felt, also detail requests for meetings etc. you can back date the info with what you written in your post. You never know they may be grateful in the future for evidence on the annoying one.

Pricivius

I would suggest that questioning things by saying "we used to - when did this change?" is not constructive and I don't see how it helps your learning or enables you to explain to customers. You are retraining as things have moved on whilst you were off sick so I don't see what value questioning the changes has. It doesn't matter when it changed, it probably doesn't even matter why - you are there to retrain and they are telling you how to do things now. To be honest, I would see this is disrupting the training and I can see your employer's point.

As for your problematic colleague, I think every place I have ever worked in has had a troublesome colleague who I really didn't want to be near or spend any time with. This will also be the case. You have been moved away from the person at your request so now just stay away from them. Don't go to the smoking shed when they are there and keep away.

As for your welfare meetings, put this in writing to HR. Ask them to clarify what was agreed at your return to work meeting as you were led to believe that you would have weekly meetings and these have not occurred.

As for your training, go back and keep quiet. Write down any questions, read them back to yourself as a sense check at the end of the day to be sure you are not being antagonistic and to check that the question is relevant and necessary and hand them in as suggested. You suggest you are losing control but surely this is giving you control - by writing things down and being able to give yourself time to go over it before raising it, you have a great deal of control.

The other thing to bear in mind is that as you have mental health issues, it is really important for you to try and understand the impact this has on you in the workplace. It is great that you are so motivated to return to work, but you must try to meet your employer halfway and recognise when it is your issue and when it is theirs. For example, do your issues make you paranoid? Or do they mean you struggle to empathise with others? These are things you need to be aware of so that you don't overreact to situations and can fit in to the work environment as well as possible.

As for a diary, I would suggest it's a good idea but maybe more for you to help your feelings of control, rather than as evidence as hopefully it won't be needed. Your focus should be on making this work, not coming up with a list of reasons why it won't and trying to catch your employer out. Good luck!