please help me! :(

mrslawrence2003

it seems that my marriage is over and the only option now is divorce. the problem is that we have a large amount of debt (£35K) which with combined income has been serviceable but with my income (£30K gross) is going to be a struggle. all debts / overdrafts and loans are in my name only and I cannot rely or trust my husband to continue to pay his share of these debts after we divorced (he should contribute as the money was spent by both of us - not just me).

also, i imagine my living expenses will now increase, so bascially what should i do? as i have no assets i guess bankruptcy would be an option but not one that i really want to consider. I don't really want to affect my credit rating (it's good as nothing has ever been defaulted on) but wouldnt a DMP or IVA affect this?

any advice people?

ZTD

I'm very sorry to hear your news.

First - don't panic. In a divorce, the assets of the marriage will be split fairly, and debts - in whoever's name will be lumped in with that.

A DMP or an IVA will affect your credit rating - though obviously only for 6 years. If I were you, I'd sit down and do an SOA - it'll help you get your thoughts together, and give us all something to go with.

mrslawrence2003

ZTD wrote: »

I'm very sorry to hear your news.

First - don't panic. In a divorce, the assets of the marriage will be split fairly, and debts - in whoever's name will be lumped in with that.

A DMP or an IVA will affect your credit rating - though obviously only for 6 years. If I were you, I'd sit down and do an SOA - it'll help you get your thoughts together, and give us all something to go with.

hi there - thanks v much.

i have an soa for our current situation and had things continued as they were we would have been debt free within 3 years!!!

i guess i need to fully consider all my options - find somewhere else to live and see how much that costs etc. does anyone know how much it actually costs to get divorced? i know you can do these quickie divorce things with online websites but i guess that's not the best thing to do and i should probably see a solicitor. or not?

ZTD

mrslawrence2003 wrote: »

hi there - thanks v much.

i have an soa for our current situation and had things continued as they were we would have been debt free within 3 years!!!

i guess i need to fully consider all my options - find somewhere else to live and see how much that costs etc. does anyone know how much it actually costs to get divorced? i know you can do these quickie divorce things with online websites but i guess that's not the best thing to do and i should probably see a solicitor. or not?

Alas, costs for divorce are variable depending on how long it takes, and whether anyone is playing "silly beggars".

You should see a solicitor - initially, you might get one of those 30minute free consultation things. It's unlikely you'll qualify for legal aid - but that depends on children etc. If you do have children it might be best if you didn't move too quickly.

Look around for somewhere to live. I used http://www.rightmove.co.uk to find rentable places initially, (you can do a query on the houses you like and it'll email you with stuff periodically) but I did expand into estate agent's own sites.

:grouphug: from me.

hypno06

Sorry to hear about your change in circumstances and I don't think I can offer too much in the way of practical advice I'm sorry to say.

But I can say that I am sure that this will work itself through to a "doable" situation, and that you can continue your road to debt freedom, without the need for bankruptcy.

A visit to a solicitor or CAB will give you far more info next week, and then you can get together a new "draft" SOA that we can work on.

Good luck, and be strong x

mrslawrence2003

thanks very much for all your replies. luckily there are no children involved. but i do have extremely important exams starting next monday which i am having great difficulty trying to focus on.

i think a trip to the CAB after my exams would be the best thing to do.

hypno06

Good luck with the exams!

Put everything else to one side for a couple of days (ok, easier said than done, I know) but concentrate on the exams. You have worked hard for them and just need to keep going for another couple of days.

You can do this,

beanielou

Sorry to hear of your siruation
Hope exams go well
Take care

misspoppy

Hi

I am sorry to hear of your situation. regarding your exams can you speak to your tutor to ask for the special circumstances to be concidered?

Good luck

tinandsue

Hi there,

You are very lucky not to have children. I was 3 mths into a college course when my ex-husband and I split. I continued to go for as long as I could but I couldn't get any reliable childcare. 5 years on and I've still never been able to do that course which would have changed my life and financial situation. My main advice to you therefore, is don't let your studies slip no matter what! Harsh as it may seem, you're on your own now and you should make your studies the main focus.

My ex and I also had debts and most were also in my name. We didn't have any real assets to split so I didn't receive a penny from the divorce and neither did he. I was made, however, to keep all the debts which were in my name. I wish in hindsight that I'd tried to keep the marriage going a little longer...just long enough to transfer half the debt over to his name. It's worth a serious thought.

southernscouser

Do you own a property with any equity?

If so and the split is amicable why don't you suggest paying the debts off with any equity before anything else.

Legally you are responsible for these debts but he might not know this. The problem was any solicitor would so if you could get something legally binding it might help!