What basic skills should we teach our children - and at what ages?

thorsoak

Spinning off from the thread about leaving children alone, and the responses thereon has made me wonder - just what basic skills are needed now by children - and at what ages?

For example, when I was a brownie (about 60 years ago!!) one of the badge skills was being able to lay and light a fire - by the age of 8 or 9. Now that isn't a skill needed by many today - but how about making a pot of tea and toast??

Cooking - what about that? When do you teach a child how to boil an egg (not just baking cookies and cupcakes) ? When do they learn how to peel potatoes and veggies? When do you teach them what to plant and where and when?

Also, in the early 1950s, boys age 9/10 were being taught basic woodworking skills and girls were being taught to knit and to sew/repair tears and sew on buttons. I well remember making an apron and embroidering it in the year before 11+ at primary school!

When I got my first "proper" big bike, my brother taught me how to mend a puncture/realign the chain - when do you teach that nowadays?

Mupette

I think each parent can gage how mature their child is to do certain tasks..

vacuuming 7 / 8 ?

cooking needs responsibility, can't mess around when you have knives and boiling water and hot pans etc


its also not just teaching them to do these life skills but to also keep them engaged in them and keep an interest.

good post op

glitter_fairy

making tea was about 7 or 8

cooking started at about 2 at 8 and 10 they can make a basic meal plus help with bigger meals

they have been getting themselves up and making breakfast since 4 and 5.

My 10 year old can change the battery in a car

They know how to clean the house

globetraveller

It's a good question. For lots of children, we are looking at far more basic skills than you are mentioning. We have a lot of 5 years who start school dinners and we find they can't use cutlery properly, they have no idea how to tie laces, and changing for PE is a bit of a nightmare.

Dunroamin

Mupette wrote: »

I think each parent can gage how mature their child is to do certain tasks..

vacuuming 7 / 8 ?

cooking needs responsibility, can't mess around when you have knives and boiling water and hot pans etc


its also not just teaching them to do these life skills but to also keep them engaged in them and keep an interest.

good post op

So, if they're not engaged and interested, you just stop bothering?

glitter_fairy

Dunroamin wrote: »

So, if they're not engaged and interested, you just stop bothering?

Thats not how that sounded at all

marisco_2

I believe in kids learning by example and am gradually giving my sons more and more responsibility. My edlest is 9 and youngest is 6. Each morning when they woke up they would see me make their beds. I just talked through with them what I was doing and why, made it into a game and now they do it by themselves.

Their school uniforms or weekend clothes are hung out on their radiators. I cant remember what age they were when they would get dressed all by themselves but for the youngest it has been a good 18 months. No doubt having a competitive older brother helped. When they get undressed they put any dirty clothes into the washing basket. I ask them is it full yet and if it is they help me carry down the load to the washing machine. They love to load it up and press the right buttons for whatever wash I am doing. I wouldn't trust them to do it all by themselves yet but bit by bit it is all going in. I show them how to hang the clothes out so they dry easily and with the least amount of creases possible.

My eldest now makes his own pack lunch for school. Yes I do check what he has put into it but so far he does a good job and is sensible.

They watch me cook. We have a big family heart of the home kitchen. The boys sit at the table doing their homework or drawing, making models and I chat away to them about what I am cooking and how I do it. They join in and watch at times. The eldest sits there now telling me what I need to do next which amuses me. If it is safe for him to do it he is happy to.

They come shopping with me and see how I put our weekly shop together. They see me doing online banking and working out a budget.

As they become bigger, stronger and taller I shall trust them to do more and more. I started ironing my own clothes around the age of 12 I think.

My eldest makes me laugh as he always checks how much petrol is showing on the gage on my car. He asks when I last put in some oil and if the tyres are pumped up. He loves to clean the car for me on a sunday using a hose and some little steps.

My aim is that by about 18 they will be responsible young men, well able to care for themselves physically, personally, financially and emotionally. I hope they will feel confidant to go out into the world, to follow whatever life path makes them happy, knowing that they can cope. I would like them to have happy, fulfilling relationships of their own later on where they treat their partner as an equal, not expecting to have every little thing done for them.

I think as with all things with kids there isn't necessarily a time by which they should do certain things. I think the key is to involve them as you do things, show trust and give them responsibility bit by bit. Kids love showing you what they can do.

sneezyboots

As a teacher- Children who know how to do laces by year 6 is always helpful. You'd be surprised how many can't and don't care. They can't live in velcro shoes forever!
If children have pierced ears, show them how to remove and replace the earrings themselves (they need to for PE).
Being able to blow their own nose is a strange one too. I have had children who, after much sniffing, I have told to blow their nose and they have told me they don't know how.

With regards to the boiling an egg, planting etc, don't children just learn that by following their parents around and 'joining in'? That's how I did. If the parents do those sorts of things (tyre repairs, gardening etc) the kids will pick it up.

marisco_2

I forgot that above everything else teaching a child manners is one of the best things you can instill in them. Knowing when to say please and thank you, when to not interrupt and how to respond politely to people will get them far in life. A true life skill.

gibson123

Manners, right from wrong and basic human values from the minute they can understand.

Taking care of self - washing, dressing, (including shoe laces) by age 5.

Taking care of own things, and putting things away - by age 5

Taking care of a pet - from age 3 and from about 6/7 independently (unless a big strong dog or horse)

Cooking, cleaning, gardening, as soon as they can use the basic tools. Independantly by age 8 they should be able to prepare a simple meal, clean their room and do simple gardening.

Sewing, woodwork basic DIY - from about age 8 supervised. Age 12 independantly.

Taking care of younger siblings - age 12 (depending on age of sibling)

In fact by age 12, they should be able to manage a budget and do almost all chores and tasks.

PinkLipgloss

As a Year 1 Teacher here are my suggestions:

- practise putting on/taking off coats independently.

- change clothes independently (required for swimming/PE classes)

- check clothes for own name, look after/check you have all of your belongings

- cover nose when sneezing / cover mouth when coughing

- automatically wash hands with soap after visiting the bathroom

- wash hands if they become dirty/covered in snot

- learn when and how to use a tissue

- learn to put on / remove shoes

- use fork and knife, cut food independently, don't talk with mouth full or stuff lots of food into your mouth at the same time

- try to eat without lots of your food ending up all over their clothes/ the floor

- practise fine motor skills with threading/beading/playdough and tools/cooking - all of these activities will help develop hand muscles for writing

- learn when it is appropriate to talk (e.g. don't shout a question out to your teacher when she is in the middle of helping a classmate or right in the middle of explaining something to the class)

- learn to go up and down stairs quickly using alternative feet (not toddler style consistently going step by step with both feet using the left or right foot first). Hope that makes sense!

- Learn to undo/redo buttons on trousers or skirts (required during toilet visits)

- Try to learn what is appropriate to tell the teacher (e.g. "Blah looked at me" is wasting everyones time!)

- Try to evaluate injuries (it is not necessary to scream in pain and make a huge fuss over a slight red mark when someones bag brushed past your arm in the corridor!)

- Learn how to react in an emergency (in school and at home). Memorise parents mobile number and emergency services number. Emphasise correct use of emergency services (e.g. home alone with parent who falls down the stairs and is knocked unconscious).

- Focus on Stranger Danger.

- Automatically walk on the pavement as far away from the traffic as possible. Learn to use different types of road crossings safely.



That's all I can think of for now!