how to stay positive?

shamu95

Hi, had a really bad week this week as most of you are aware and was feeling a bit sorry for myself and rather alone if truth be told.
I have a partner who is aware of my situation and unwilling to help. Fine i shall do it alone with you guys for support.
However i got some good news when i got my head straight and have found out that i have actually reduced my debt this month and have negoitiated a better phone deal.More money saved each month!!
problem is my bloke just wont leave me alone. he moans i'm working too much and he moans about the debt and just belittles every achievement i make. have spoke in lenght to him and his reasoning is that if he's nice to me then i will stay in debt and if he's nasty about it i will sort it and not do it again?
its not helping my esteem however all friends and work collegues are bolstering me all the time.
Any ideas how to keep my chin up?

Catseyez

shamu95 wrote: »

Hi, had a really bad week this week as most of you are aware and was feeling a bit sorry for myself and rather alone if truth be told.
I have a partner who is aware of my situation and unwilling to help. Fine i shall do it alone with you guys for support.
However i got some good news when i got my head straight and have found out that i have actually reduced my debt this month and have negoitiated a better phone deal.More money saved each month!!
problem is my bloke just wont leave me alone. he moans i'm working too much and he moans about the debt and just belittles every achievement i make. have spoke in lenght to him and his reasoning is that if he's nice to me then i will stay in debt and if he's nasty about it i will sort it and not do it again?
its not helping my esteem however all friends and work collegues are bolstering me all the time.
Any ideas how to keep my chin up?

There is no excuse for being nasty. I am sorry but it seems as though he is looking for a reason to be horrrible to you. He should accept you for who you are and support you in whatever you do.

He could be controlling and might feel threatened by your display of independence. Whatever you do, do not give in and do try to ignore his comments. Perhaps it might be worth not talking about your achievements to him, that way he can't belittle them.

Good on you for your achievements so far and please don't give up, you can do it!

ZTD

shamu95 wrote: »

problem is my bloke just wont leave me alone. he moans i'm working too much and he moans about the debt and just belittles every achievement i make. have spoke in lenght to him and his reasoning is that if he's nice to me then i will stay in debt and if he's nasty about it i will sort it and not do it again?

If he reasons that moaning about it will stop you doing it again, then why is he moaning about you working? How does he think the debt is going to be paid off? :rolleyes:

I await his answer with interest.

shamu95 wrote: »

its not helping my esteem however all friends and work collegues are bolstering me all the time.
Any ideas how to keep my chin up?

Beating him to a pulp with a rolling pin would give you only momentary satisfaction, and may make you the subject of gossip. :think:

Why don't you list your acheivements, and what you're doing to bring your DFD forward?

shamu95

the moan about me working is because i am too tired to do extra jobs around the house. i think he wants superwoman which i certainly arent. the rolling pin is a good idea!!!

GirlRacer_2

Shamu95, remember your doing this for yourself and think how much better you'll feel when its all paid off. It's really bad of your OH to belittle your efforts, but we are all here to support you. If you find yourself getting down about things, come on here and we'll all cheer you up.

Just smile sweetly and think of your debt free day x

mioliere

shamu95 wrote: »

Hi, had a really bad week this week as most of you are aware and was feeling a bit sorry for myself and rather alone if truth be told.
I have a partner who is aware of my situation and unwilling to help. Fine i shall do it alone with you guys for support.
However i got some good news when i got my head straight and have found out that i have actually reduced my debt this month and have negoitiated a better phone deal.More money saved each month!!
problem is my bloke just wont leave me alone. he moans i'm working too much and he moans about the debt and just belittles every achievement i make. have spoke in lenght to him and his reasoning is that if he's nice to me then i will stay in debt and if he's nasty about it i will sort it and not do it again?
its not helping my esteem however all friends and work collegues are bolstering me all the time.
Any ideas how to keep my chin up?

You should carry on regardless - it's your life. As Catseyez said, he is probably jealous of your independence. He sounds controlling and feels that control slipping away. No-one should be nasty to anyone and especially anyone who's trying to turn their life around. You carry on, girl!

ZTD

shamu95 wrote: »

the moan about me working is because i am too tired to do extra jobs around the house. i think he wants superwoman which i certainly arent. the rolling pin is a good idea!!!

Well ask him the question, and see him hang himself on his own logic. Obviously if he starts getting nasty about the extra jobs around the house, then - by implication - he doesn't want you to do them again either.

shamu95

i see your point! it is a good job i am actually quite headstrong and once i want something i go all out to get it even if its a long bumpy road to get there. its great to come on here and feel that im not alone in my problem. ive finally added my debts into sig to give me more motivation to see them shrinking and for you guys to help out if they rise- god hope not tho!!

beanielou

Wish you lots of luck
You can show him!

tontopav

I dont agree with your blokes stance
If all he does is moan
It takes great guts to beat the debt
Much more if your alone

Keep your strength and see it through
Keep your mind well set
Keep thinking of how proud youll feel
Keep hammering the debt