Boyfriend hiding HMRC debt

Beki710

I've been with my boyfriend 2 years, we've lived together for nearly 10 months. We share all bills from a joint account but we have our own debts. I have an overdraft of around £1500 to pay off, he has a credit card and loan of around £2500.

Recently he's been getting HMRC self assessment forms (odd because he says he's never been self-employed) he got at me for nagging him about them so I dropped it. Anyway, essentially in our flat we have a pile that builds up of our post and various documents until one of us decides to sort it. As I was sorting it today I came across a HMRC envelope that was opened addressed to my boyfriend. I had a look inside to see if it was something that need chucking or keeping and it was a self-assessment overdue bill of around £600. He's opened this so he knows it's there. I wasn't intending to snoop it was in our pile of open items to be sorted. He gets angsty if I start talking about money but this is a bill we just can't afford. Do I confront him about it or not?

tallyhoh

Yes, I wish I had spoken to my OH years ago when I found out he had debts, its got worse since then. Also debts to HMRC are pretty serious & need sorting out ASAP.

quantic

Normally I find that people only get angry because of the anxiety thinking about the debt causes, if your the one who brings it up, your the one who causes the anxiety. I'm not sure you can win in this situation, I would be pretty worried if you cannot talk about this and he is hiding it.

Try to make him aware that you will not be angry and if he still doesn't want to talk about it you may have no choice but to confront him... try to be positive with him, as hard as that can be with something like this.

Best of luck!

Treadmill

You should certainly speak to him about this, the HMRC certainly won't go away. Speak to him, maybe he has already dealt with it.

Asbestross

I would most certainly discuss it with him.

What I would say, from personal experience is some people can get so defensive regarding debts that they choose to lash out in response. I used to be the exact same way... so I'm sure that if you sit him down in a calm and firm manner, ask him if it is a legitimate debt and if so how you 'both' can address it, he should open up a little.

I know its not easy, I've been on both sides of the fence. But reassure him that you're not there to judge and i'm certain he will be more talkative

Good luck

Beki710

Thank you all for your advice. He's a had some bad stress issues with work which I think is another reason I've been worried about bringing it up. I guess I will just have to bite the bullet and ask him.