Hit a brick wall

soxthecat

I have built up debts of £70,000 over 20 years - credit cards and loans. The repayments are totally out of control and I borrow each month just to pay the minimum, but I know this is not the solution and the day wil come when there is no credit left. My partner knows nothing of this and he hates the idea of debt. I am 56 - our mortgage is due to be paid off in July. I will work until I'm 65. House worth £180,000. I know a new mortgage would clear my debts and I could sleep at night - but will a mortgage lender take us on at our age - and how do I tell my partner, who retired 10 years ago due to illness (at age 51). I am so afraid it will break us up. I am in despair.

southwester_2

Soxthecat

You have come to the right place.

I also was in debt to the tune of £27000 and lied and lied for 2 years, running to get the post and hiding everything from my OH.

Threee weeks ago I plucked up the courage to tell her and was shaking and crying when I did but although it will be hard that is for sure, things are a lot better and we are working it out together.

You must come clean it will help your health and stop th worry, I am not going to say it will be easy because it wont but believe me, having been there, you will feel the relief as soon as you come clean.

I wish you all the best and know exactly how you are feeling.

OberonSH

Okay love, calm down. Take a deep breath and try not to panic.

The first thing you need to do is to check out the sticky at the top of the page, and write down on a clean sheet of paper what comes in, and everythingthing that goes out. Don;t forget the APRs of the debts, and the repayments.

You say yor husband has no idea. I'm fraid we see a lot of folks on here in a similar position. You will have to tell him at some point. But for now, concentrate on posting up a little Statement of Affairs, and get yourself a cup of tea.

It starts here love, and there's plenty of people here who will help you out.

hypno06

You have taken the first step towards getting this sorted - by coming on here.

£70,000 is a lot of money but it is not an unachievable amount to tackle one way or another, believe me!

How about giving CCCS or Payplan a call (details at the top of this board I think) and having a chat with them. They will not judge and they will not try and talk you into doing anything but they will give you some options which you can then think about.

I found them very helpful even though at the end of the day I decided to just keep chipping away at the debt myself.

Posting an SOA as mentioned above can also help focus where the money can be saved, and "diverted" towards the debt.

Telling your partner is a personal issue - some do and some dont. Certainly if you are hoping to remortgage, you will need to tell him. How about getting all your options together, start tackling the debt and then you can say something along the lines of:

"over the last 20 years this has happened, and this is how it has happened (remember that over 20 years it is easy to overspend by this much, it is not a crime) but I am sorting things out and have done x y and z towards getting rid of the debt"

By having a solution in place this conversation may be easier and you may find his support easier to come by as you will not be asking him to come up with solutions himself.

Good luck and keep posting x

System

Hi Sox, you're in the right place, just watch the advice come flooding in. There is a way. Lenny

immoral_angeluk

I really wouldn't advise you to remortgage if you've only got a few months left until it's completely paid off. Instead look at your other options such as maybe a DMP/IVA or even downsizing your house when your mortgage free. If you could sell your house for 180k and buy a new one at 110k you'd be able to clear all your debt in one go and be mortgage and debt free.

LandyAndy

I also don't think a remortgage is the way to go but just for info we took a new mortgage last year (move to a more expensive part of the country) and our lender (Halifax) offered normal terms providing the loan ended before my 70th birthday lol.

ClaireLR

Hi Sox,

I hope you re ok.

a good place to call might be national debtline, I'm sorry I dont know what their number is (although I'm sure it will be on here somewhere) and they can advise you what to do and who to speak to. Please try not to worry nothing is worth making yourself ill over. Try and speak to your husband soon as you will need his support whatever you decide to do. He may be more understanding than you think and as he will have to know at some point its probably best to get it out of the way sooner, that way he will (hopefully) support you as you make your decisions about what to do next.

Payplan is a good option, I went to them last year with a huge amount of debt which I am now paying back at a rate that I can afford easily. I'll be paying it off for a while but at least now I know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Please try not to worry, so many people (myself included) make themselves ill over what they owe and looking back now it really really isnt worth it. Your not the first to get yourself into this situation and your surely wont be the last. There are so many people that can help with this sort of thing. try not to despair, keep smiling I am POSITIVE that within a few months you will have this under control.

Hope all goes well for you x x x

chevalier

Really sorry to hear that you are having problems. We will support you through this, whether you tell your OH or not
best of luck
chev

Aj_eye

Well first of all well done for having your ight bulb moment... I think your best best is to contact Payplan.... and you have to tell your OH, there is no getting away from that...

Keep your head up and don't fret....it will all work out !