Scared to go back to work after suicide attempt/Depression

pixiewolfe

Hi there,
I need advice on how to get back into work following a break down in my mental health.

I have been depressed since I was 15 (Treated when I was 19, now 25) and after losing an "easy" admin role as a medical receptionist, lost all confidence in going back to the work place.
At present I am having weekly sessions with the psychiatrist and occasional contact with an OT.
I am trying to encourage myself to go out more and not be alone, so am also doing a BSL course in the local college (once a week, mornings, 2 hrs).
As I have been off work since May I am getting stressed with explaining the gap in my CV. (Friend told me to say I became a carer for my Mother ho also suffers severe mental illness and my Grandad who has had 2 strokes.)

My CV is okish. I studied nursing (got general adult nursing Diploma) and got experience in admin, barwork, health care roles, switchboard and retail.

At the moment just on ESA and housing benefit so money is tight and it is stressing me not being able to provide for myself..though the last few interviews I failed miserably as I was shuttering and shaking :S
Any advice on what to do as with all the attacks on the NHS/Disability cuts I am scared of what the future brings

whitewing

If you are having weekly medical appointments, that will be eating into your time a fair bit. Maybe it would be better to look for a voluntary position to get you back to being amongst people to build your confidence.

Or could you do some temping work? Again, then you wouldn't necessarily have to explain about not being in at certain times. Temping work can be good and fairly mindless. You could put it on your CV as temping/caring and specify where the placements were. It could help ease the gaps. But temping isn't for everybody. (Worked for me with depression). Temping tends to avoid interviews (or it did when I temped), although you obviously have to register with the agency.

Don't be too tough on yourself. There is no 'should'. If you've been depressed since teenagerdom then probably that was as a result of situations beyond your control. You can learnt how to change patterns of behaviour and I hope you get the support/opportunity to do so.

pixiewolfe

Thank you whitewing.
I guess I do push myself to the breaking point, but after seeing my mother being treated with disdain for similar problems, it is hard not to hate myself for slipping down the same road.

Where are the best temp agencies? I tried Reed and Brook but they never helped and shrugged me off. Also tried Office Angels and staff banks in hospitals. No one seems to be answering me!

Thank you x

whitewing

I used manpower years ago.

I think nowadays you have to contact them regularly and be a little pushy (which will be good practice if you're like me and withdraw from people). So don't be put off if they seem to not want you, that may just be the way it is nowadays. Try and then you can talk thro your attempts at your appointments.

SCOYA

Hi there, make sure that your CV is posted on the Reed website, if you've not already done so. Lots of other agencies use the Reed website to search for suitable CV's/people.

Do an internet search for all your local agencies, local to me in Berkshire, is Reed, Hays, Adecco, Manpower.

Also, if you can spare a few hours, do contact a local charity, as they are always looking for volunteers, not just in their shops, but also behind scenes with administration work etc., it will help your confidence.

Take little steps every day, good luck.

pixiewolfe

Thank you all for your helpful advice and kind words.
I guess it is taking it one step at a time and trying to learn to walk before I can run, in terms of getting myself well again.
I guess it is hard not seeing anything physically wrong with me and not being able to face day to day living. (even though I tell my mother not to worry or blame herself!)

whitewing

I find being tired (which you may get if a fulltime new job and hospital appointments on top of that) makes me a lot worse.

It is hard because you will have been hiding the depression to the best of your ability.


You can contribute to a professional work environment, and you will do so, but you will need to learn that a minor knockback is just a minor knockback not the coming of doom.

Raksha

Have you spoken about this to your O/T?

Mine referred me to The Richmond Trust who specialise in helping folk with MH problems back into work, using whatever suits the client best. Perhaps there's a branch in your area, or something similar?

Yorkie1

I would suggest volunteering to start with - you have a routine but it's less pressurised and you can always leave if need be.

Once you've got a bit more confidence back, you can start the temping route if you like, although that does require quite a bit of ability to adapt a lot, by going into different workplaces.

pixiewolfe

Have you spoken about this to your O/T?

I have and he is making a plan with me to get me back to dealing with life/ a routine.
Yes, will look for regular volunteering soon

jobbingmusician

I'd have a look on the Time to Change website - lots of good advice about MH and employment there