Don't know what to do... lying/cheating??

PurpleRain_2

C_Mababejive wrote: »

PurpleRain wrote: »

May i recommend an excellent easy read book?

Brilliant CBT by Dr stephen briars

google

Thank you. Just found it on Amazon, will read the reviews in a bit

sharnad

I would have cut the padlock on the door and went to see what he was hiding. Tell him you thought you smelt smoke in his room. Padlocked doors creepy

Pennywise2012

sharnad wrote: »

I would have cut the padlock on the door and went to see what he was hiding. Tell him you thought you smelt smoke in his room. Padlocked doors creepy

But that's the thing, situations like this take years to come about. You or I would break in, investigate what he's hiding, confront him, throw him out, etc etc. This guy has spent years systematically reducing this woman's self esteem and making her utterly dependant on him. It's not going to be undone in a day.

OP - I think posting on here has been a brilliant first step. It's confirmed what you knew deep down, that things aren't normal or 'right'. There's been some excellent advice, which may seem overwhelming at first. But please try to make a little step each day, so that you're moving further away from the life you have now, and further towards the life you want, and deserve, and should have.

You don't have no-one, you have YOU! You've proved that you're stronger than you think by facing up to the situation. You've managed to get away from negative people in your life before, so that strength and self-respect really is in there somewhere. So keep making these little steps and every day you'll get some more of your confidence back. And don't forget everyone here is rooting for you! xx

thorsoak

Oh dear! Poor you! Your story strikes a chord with me - it sound so like the posts from Darkness is my friend/the one with the domineering husband who made her get rid of her little dog/the one whose partner cut her/etc etc etc???

Or am I being too cynical???

Sorry

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

thorsoak wrote: »

Oh dear! Poor you! Your story strikes a chord with me - it sound so like the posts from Darkness is my friend/the one with the domineering husband who made her get rid of her little dog/the one whose partner cut her/etc etc etc???

Or am I being too cynical???

Sorry

Don't think you are.


Next episode will be from someone locked in a room.

thehappybutterfly

Oh god! Do you think this was another wind up?

Welshwoofs

Not sure where to start with this one...

1. Anyone who padlocks their door against their partner is a fruit loop so take that as a sign to work on getting shot.
2. You are indeed right; panic attacks won't kill you and though unpleasant they're manageable with simple breathing techniques that stop the hyperventilation (thereby stopping the dizzy feelings and tunnelling vision) and slow the heart rate down. Panic attacks shouldn't stop you leaving your house....what you're doing is 'avoidance', structuring your life around avoiding something that's unpleasant and worries you.
3. If you want to try CBT get a book....you don't need to wait for anything. It's a very practical process...a bit like putting the final comments down for prosecution and defence in a trial and then coming to a conclusion.

The bottom line is that so far this guy has made you the victim....but now you've woken up to it you have two choices: sort it out...or make yourself the victim

Idiophreak

If this thread's for real (no offence, OP...you just can never tell these days ), it's one of the saddest things I've ever read. It's just so shocking how people's lives can head down a certain road and they become so isolated and start to accept that things that are quite clearly bonkers are just normal. Really upsetting.

health_wrning

Just a thing on that no more panic site that was given previously
as they say information wants to be free....that site is a bit of a black hole

You might find some info there. but when they say the site is run by sufferers...they mean it. the admin & owner there arent the high point. they are the low point.

the site has caused a lot of people to get worse because of the behaviour of "management" (watch the film lakeview terrace to get an idea of the integrity of whos running the site). could even mention the word 'relapse' its caused people

if you want more info, I have more info.

If you find yourself going there and feeling worse because of the replies you get from the admin (not to mention the replies you dont get because many good members have left) its not just you.

Miss_Ratty

I second the above post. I used to use no more panic as I initially found it therapeutic to know that there were other sufferers, but after a while I started to get bogged down by looking at all of the posts etc., and feeling like things might never get better. It can be a useful resource for other info though, and the success stories are helpful.

I have a book called Overcoming Anxiety by Helen Kennerly that was initially given to me on prescription from the library but I bought in a charity shop later for a quid. It uses the CBT exercises that my CBT therapist used and I found the book very useful. Some CDs etc., can also be quite good, and try to get a yoga or meditation DVD or download as they can teach useful exercises.

Sorry if it has been mentioned before, but have you tried women's aid and shelter etc., for some advice?

You have made he very first positive step in identifying that something is not right, now you just need to channel that inner strength on getting out of the negative situation you are in. You clearly have this strength as admitting that something is not right is sometimes the hardest bit. X