taboo subject?

houston

apologies if this is the wrong forum.

can anyone offer advice on asking parents for financial help? ie: deposit for house, loans etc.
my own parents received quite alot of help from both sets of parents: a business, a few houses plus cash if they needed it, however I have asked for help over the years and been made to feel like a leper. I would like to buy my first house (married with 4 children) and it would make things alot easier with a gifted deposit, or loan to pay of debts then could afford a better mortgage, but I am really anxious about asking (parents are divorced) as I dont have a good relationship with mother, but she should understand about getting the help as she received the most from her father.

any input would be appreciated

jonesMUFCforever

What do your parents think of your husband/partner?
A lot may depend on this.

Personally I would not like to ask my parents for any money just because they got help when they started out doesn't mean that you should.
Sorry if my answer sounds harsh.

miha_2

indeed it depends alot what they think about your partner.

however if they can afforded they should help, but you have to be fair and do not lie in any shape, meet up with both of them and discuss what should be done

good luck

Bargainloverbec

Asking for a gift is a bit too cheeky in my view but if you know they would be able to afford it without putting themselves into financial difficulty I think asking for a loan would be quite acceptable.

That also gives them the opportunity to be generous and say actually we'd like to give you the money instead, if they want to.

Bear in mind though that there are tax implications for monetary gifts (I think the limit is £3,000).

HTH.

Rebecca

houston

thanks for that, my mother and husband are not too fond of each other, I can see what you mean ejones999, in fact my husband would rather get by without any help, I feel like if I dont ask now then she'll leave it all to cats protection league anyway so Ive nothing to lose.

Poppy9

If your parents want to help you they will offer. I really don't think you should ask. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my parents for money to buy a house or clear debts.

Perhaps your parents want you to stand on your own two feet before they start giving you money as they might think you will waste it.

houston

good point. I wouldnt, but good point - I hadn't thought of it

Murdina

For what it is worth we were in this situation once and loan having been offered in general terms we took it up when through no fault of our own we got into some financial difficulty. Mother who had inherited a lot of money never let us forget it and we felt in the end we would rather have begged on the streets. (and by the way we repaid it all as well). If your relationship is already poor it may be the death knell or maybe it would not make it any worse to have endless snide comments about your financial shortcomings made to anyone and everyone.

houston

sounds like an average days conversation in my mothers house!

snowmaid

You could always make it strictly a business arrangement, even adding on a little interest, which would benefit them too. Put it all in writing and BOTH you and your husband sign it and have it witnessed by an independent party.

houston

thanks. all helpful suggestions.