i have no idea how to deal with this lot!!

jochrisje

Hi All
This is long winded,,,,,Sorry!!

12 months ago my wife and i seperated, she had an affair!
I left the family home with nothing but my clothes for a temporary seperation as i thought,but left my wages going into our joint account for 3 months while i rented a room in lodgings.
I realised this was going to be a permanent split and after 3 months i rented a furnished flat and moved my wages to a new account.
jump forward 9 months,
I got a txt from my wife 3 weeks ago, giving me a new adress to collect my children from as she had set up home in a rented house with the man she had the afair with, and left our matrimonial home as she didnt feel comfy there with her boyfriend.
I now have made a comfy home in my flat and our kids (13 and 8 year olds) come to stay every weekend and we have a good time.
The problems.......
I can just about afford the mortgage on the family home on my own if i was to move back in it, but i am wary of giving my flat up, if i struggle to pay the mortgage, and may end up loseing both a flat and a house!!
we had a credit card debt that was run up when we were together but she wont contribute towards it because it is in my name, she was just a card holder, we also had a business overdraft together but again that was in my name, these 2 debts she is refusing to help me with as they were both in my name, even they were run up when we were a couple.
to make maters worse, i bought a car in february on finance as i needed a car to get to work.

Our mortgage was a northern rock together mortgage where some of the mortgage is an unsecured loan we did this to raise funds to enable us to buy a small business, a cafe. although the recesion badly afected us we didnt fail, and managed to get rid of it but at a greatly reduced value.
altogether the mortgage is 98000,,, the best offer we have had on the house is 85000

just to add to my problems, my dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer........Humph!!!!!!!

if i have rambled on here, i apologise, but i really just dont know what to do.... in amongst everything else, i have legal fees as i am getting divorced...

i look forward to any realistic advice or help

Cheers

jochrisje

PippaGirl_2

Lot's of decisions here then. Do you want to keep the house? If so and it's possible for you to cover the mortgage alone you could move back.

I'm afraid a Judge during divorce usually says what is in your name only is yours, they don't get involved in what it was used for or even if the other party accrued the whole debt.

You've posted on a Bankruptcy board, do I take it you are thinking this is an option you are considering? How much is your debt total, aside from the negative equity in the house?

eta, sorry to read about your Dad

jochrisje

i didnt know where to post this, yes the only answer i can see is to be bankrupt however i know i will lose everything.
i would like to keep the house, its been "ours" for 10 years and the kids love it there, they hate being with there mum and her boyfriend.
credit card 3800
business overdraft 2000
car loan 4700
unsecured loan in mortgage 13000
mortgage 85000

thankyou for reading my post

PippaGirl_2

Bankruptcy is an option for you given your debts and the fact that there is no equity in the house.

These two organisations will give you free impartial advice

Consumer Credit Counselling Service - Website: CCCS Telephone: 0800 138 1111
National Debtline - Website: National Debtline Telephone: 0808 808 4000

skintandfat

You could go bankrupt and keep the house.

A better option would be to take control of the house ( you may need to remove your ex from the mortgage- which may be tricky with NR).
You could take ownership of all the debt on the condition that your ex relinquishes all interest in the property- you could do this through a lawyer who will be able to tell you if it is an option.

As far as the bankruptcy goes- take advice as things vary depending on where you live.
If you live in Scotland they will value and deal with the house in the first 6 months, in England / Wales they seem to like keeping people in the lurch for 3 years or so.

Sort out the ex wife financial liabilities first and then deal with the rest - leave bankruptcy as a last resort