To stay with CSA or between ourselves??

SprocketBully

Hello All,

Just after help/advice from ppl who have experienced something similair.

Basically my ex and I have been seperated for over 6 years. We have an 8 year old son who he see's once every three weeks for a Saturday day. (my ex moved over 200 miles away after the split)

I currently recieves payments through the csa.

When the split first occured I asked for money directly off him. I recieved this once and then never again hence why I contacted csa.


I have been recieving payments fine through csa. Never really had a problem with them. They reduced slighlty over the years because he gets a reduction because he has to travel to see his son and then when him and his wife had a little girl of their own.

Now apperantly he has had a (significant) pay rise/promotion. He and his wife have bought a bigger house in a nicer area on this rise.
CSA now want a back payment of around £600 for the months where they hadnt calculated this new payrise into the payments and he tells me they plan on increasing my sons payments with an etra £60-80 per month on top of what I'm getting.

(please bear in mind this is what he has told me after being on the phone for hours to them, I have not yet recieved anything off th csa through the post)

Basically he thinks its ridiculous and that he cannot afford it. And he said although he's willing to increase the payments slightly he didn't budget for that much. He wants us to come to an arrangement between ourselves?

Obviously this concerns me.

IF he decides not to pay (which happened years ago) it would leave me in a difficult position and alot of hassle to chase etc.

We have never been on the best of terms. Infact a few years ago he was sending me awful letters from solicitors threatening to take me to court if I didnt drive his son 200 plus miles once a month to see him (even though he moved away from his home town and family etc)

Part of me wants to be the nicer person but I don't trust him at all.

Part of me thinks there's no way you couldn't work out/budget that csa would want 15%. And if the roles were reversed I very much doubt I would get this courtesy.

The other week my sons trainers ripped whilst he was with his Dad so they had to buy new ones (£25) they took the money off me for them. He has never bought contributed to his son other than the CSA money as obviously thats what its for. But even to the point of his birthday presents and christmas presents stay in their house 200miles away where he visits twice/three times a year.


Has anyone else been in a position like this? And can offer help and advice?

CSA say that if he misses payments in a private agreement/direct pay then they cant chase them.

Sorry for the essay and personal stuff just wanted you to know where I'm coming from.

Any replies will be much appreciated

missbunbury

SprocketBully wrote: »

...CSA say that if he misses payments in a private agreement/direct pay then they cant chase them...

Not in a private agreement if you close the case, no. If you go direct pay (what they call maintenance direct) you would have to inform them as soon as he missed a payment, they might not be able to chase the first missed one but they could force him to make future payments through them (at the exact rate they have calculated, not whatever you have agreed on), you'd just be going back to agency collection.

skibadee

Personally I'd stick with the CSA considering his previous track record regarding paying.
If you haven't recieved a new notification from the CSA might be worth giving them a ring to see what is going on.....as you say you only have his word for this at the moment.

kingfisherblue

Stick with the CSA. From past history, he is likely to renege on a private agreement. My case is with the CSA for exactly the same reason, and I would never go back to a private agreement - it's too easy for them to wriggle out of giving you the regular payment due (I know not all NRPs are like this, but many are).

Also, the amount has decreased a couple of times, for valid reasons, but the cost of living has increased. Your ex hasn't considered that your expenses for your child are likely to be higher now than they were six years ago.

kevin137

Did you ask for a reassessment...? I am wondering why they have asked for it to be backdated. If it was not requested, by you or him, and he is not on a DEO then he has no obligation to notify them of a change of income...

This is something he could appeal and drag out for years, and will probably win as well...!

On the flip side, stay with the CSA if it is working. you don't say how he pays... Is it direct to you or them as DD or by DEO...?

It is disgusting that he wouldn't even pay for trainers... Cheapskate comes to mind. But is it worth arguing over.

Just do what is best in your mind and know that he is the one who clearly doesn;t do what is right for your child....

SprocketBully

Kevin137 you've just reminded me earlier this year I did phone the csa asking them to re access his pay. As I found it hard to believe in six years it hadn't changed. But nothing ever came of it.
He phoned them with change of income (apparently)
So ppl don't have to notify of change of income? That's silly surely?

I currently get paid by dd by the csa.

Skipadee - I have phoned but they can't really tell me much at the moment as the case is only just being looked at by them.

mum2one

in theory the parent without care is suppose to notifty any changes of circumstances, such as pay rise, hours cut, change of job.

I would say stick with the CSA, from track record he hasn't been 100% reliable, and it sounds like he's trying to get out of paying the additional amount.

If the case is being looked at, its usually 14 day period, depends on whether he is responding on time to them or digging his heels in.

You have to put your son 1st, and the way I see it the only way is with the CSA, please don't let him back you into a corner or make you feel quilty. xx

SprocketBully

I want to stick with the csa for security/reliability reasons.

If I chose this things are probably going to get hostile. As he claims he cannot afford his new house if his payments increase.
However I find it hard to believe that when he says he didn't budget for so much he wasn't capable of working out the 15% figure of his own wage.

It's not a nice situation as I can understand how he/they will think why should I get more money off him but as somebody pointed out above. The money has never increased over six years and over six years I think it's safe to say cost of living has increase drastically.

My solicitor / advisor wants me stay with csa. She says it isn't my fault or problem what is happening. But I know he's going to become hostile about it. Eeek

PreludeForTimeFeelers

SprocketBully wrote: »

If I chose this things are probably going to get hostile. As he claims he cannot afford his new house if his payments increase.
However I find it hard to believe that when he says he didn't budget for so much he wasn't capable of working out the 15% figure of his own wage.

I think that's the important thing to remember - he has always known that the assessment is 15% of his net income, but he's obviously become accustomed to the amount that he was paying, which wasn't the full assessment. Your advisor is correct, it's not your fault that he's had pay-rises previously and hasn't considered that his maintenance liability should have risen in line with this.