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Impartial advice needed!
Comments
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Could you call up everyone you have DDs with and ask if they will move the date they take the payment to the day after you get paid, most people are paid on a certain day of the month so that should be fairly easy to rearrange your DDs for that date.just in case you need to know:
HWTHMBO - He Who Thinks He Must Be Obeyed (gained a promotion, we got Civil Partnered Thank you Steinfeld and Keidan)
DS#1 - my twenty-five-year old son
DS#2 - my twenty -one son0 -
you need to get a handle on your thinking about spending and debts
1. start by working out a proper budget; a good start would be here
http://www.stoozing.com/msoc/soacalc.php
2. next work out exactly where your money actually goes.. a spending diary is often a good idea (literally write down everything you spend) and compare with your budget.
3. change your attitudes and vocabulary:
-you aren't in debt because of being a student; you are in debt because you chose to spend over 8k on a car when there are loads of good quality motors for 2-3k
4 again reconisder what this actually meansTo put everything else in context I earn about £1450 a month, and current outgoing are about £1100.
in everyday English this would mean you have £350 spare every month to save or reduce your ODs but I doubt it really means this
However it is a good idea to try to reduce the APRs of your debts and if you fill in the SOA (budget) you would be able to see all the facts and figures in a coherent fashion.0 -
you need to get a handle on your thinking about spending and debts
1. start by working out a proper budget; a good start would be here
http://www.stoozing.com/msoc/soacalc.php
2. next work out exactly where your money actually goes.. a spending diary is often a good idea (literally write down everything you spend) and compare with your budget.
3. change your attitudes and vocabulary:
-you aren't in debt because of being a student; you are in debt because you chose to spend over 8k on a car when there are loads of good quality motors for 2-3k
4 again reconisder what this actually means
in everyday English this would mean you have £350 spare every month to save or reduce your ODs but I doubt it really means this
However it is a good idea to try to reduce the APRs of your debts and if you fill in the SOA (budget) you would be able to see all the facts and figures in a coherent fashion.
Wow, Clapton.....harsh words. Not untrue but the wording could be nicer! I know you're right but your post wasn't exactly friendly and supportive!
xKazi is trying to sort things out now and needs support not hectoring!
xKazi - What Clapton is saying trying to say is: if you don't work out a proper budget - and stick to it - you will end up back in the same position eventually. And he's right. Working out how much you can afford to pay back on a loan should require you to do this anyway - and may give you a shock when you realise where all your money goes!....Practically Perfect in Every Way......:grinheart0 -
Wow, Clapton.....harsh words. Not untrue but the wording could be nicer! I know you're right but your post wasn't exactly friendly and supportive!
xKazi is trying to sort things out now and needs support not hectoring!
xKazi - What Clapton is saying trying to say is: if you don't work out a proper budget - and stick to it - you will end up back in the same position eventually. And he's right. Working out how much you can afford to pay back on a loan should require you to do this anyway - and may give you a shock when you realise where all your money goes!
there is a difference from being supportive and being unwilling to say that which obviously need saying
reading your earlier post, it may well have been supportive but did it spell out the actuality?0 -
there is a difference from being supportive and being unwilling to say that which obviously need saying
reading your earlier post, it may well have been supportive but did it spell out the actuality?
I have no problem with spelling things out but your post was quite hostile! I KNOW you're right in what you say - of course you are - but hitting people round the head with a sledgehammer is not necessarily the best way to get people to listen! I just think it would have been more useful to use a softer tone.
This is a young person who is now trying to do the right thing. Taking out a £13k loan to cover their debts should be all the impetus they need to sort their finances out properly and learn from the experience at an early rather than a late stage! Support to sort things out now will hopefully leave this OP more likely to look carefully at finances in the future.....Practically Perfect in Every Way......:grinheart0 -
I have no problem with spelling things out but your post was quite hostile! I KNOW you're right in what you say - of course you are - but hitting people round the head with a sledgehammer is not necessarily the best way to get people to listen! I just think it would have been more useful to use a softer tone.
This is a young person who is now trying to do the right thing. Taking out a £13k loan to cover their debts should be all the impetus they need to sort their finances out properly and learn from the experience at an early rather than a late stage! Support to sort things out now will hopefully leave this OP more likely to look carefully at finances in the future.
we will have to differ
in my view your post simply discussed shifting debt around (without even knowing the debt details APRs etc);
in no way did it mention anything about addressing the causes of debt and how they should be addressed.
Try reading the debt free wannabe board and see if the taking out a 13k loan is all it takes to sort out one's finances.
Ok I may have had a sledgehammer but you didn't even try to point out the need to address the debt issue.
Nice, maybe but irresponsible.0 -
we will have to differ
in my view your post simply discussed shifting debt around (without even knowing the debt details APRs etc);
in no way did it mention anything about addressing the causes of debt and how they should be addressed.
Try reading the debt free wannabe board and see if the taking out a 13k loan is all it takes to sort out one's finances.
Ok I may have had a sledgehammer but you didn't even try to point out the need to address the debt issue.
Nice, maybe but irresponsible.
Gosh. You do need some lessons in courtesy and politeness. I'm a grown woman and you put me off.....can't imagine how you make a young person feel.
I've worked with young people all my life and the way to win them over and get them to do what they need to do is NOT to be rude, dogmatic or to point out the b***** obvious so obviously. Previously the OP was open to discussing things and asking for advice. That could have led on to longer term resolutions. Frankly, I'm just hoping she comes back now!
Now that we've highjacked this thread so successfully, perhaps we should agree to disagree on our differing approaches and get back on topic?....Practically Perfect in Every Way......:grinheart0 -
Some people need the direct approach and I for one have always appreciated straight-up honesty.
The OP is not in a great situation and needs to address the spiral of debt rather than just refinancing and thinking the debt goes away. It doesn't!
It's an open forum so just accusing other (respected) members of being hostile is not much help. It's a valid opinion and if the OP didn't want honesty they should not have posted on an open public forum.Thinking critically since 1996....0 -
somethingcorporate wrote: »Some people need the direct approach and I for one have always appreciated straight-up honesty.
The OP is not in a great situation and needs to address the spiral of debt rather than just refinancing and thinking the debt goes away. It doesn't!
It's an open forum so just accusing other (respected) members of being hostile is not much help. It's a valid opinion and if the OP didn't want honesty they should not have posted on an open public forum.
Wow. Sorry for upsetting your little group of (respected) members.
I have no problem with honesty. But judgemental sanctimoniousness will often offend and ALL I was trying to do was to ensure that the OP would feel OK about continuing the discussion.
But now I know my (lowly) place.....Practically Perfect in Every Way......:grinheart0 -
Wow. Sorry for upsetting your little group of (respected) members.
I have no problem with honesty. But judgemental sanctimoniousness will often offend and ALL I was trying to do was to ensure that the OP would feel OK about continuing the discussion.
But now I know my (lowly) place.
Don't ever forget that postcount is the difference between good advice and bad advice0
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