I was chased by some yoof today

moneyinmypocket

I was walking down the road past the local job centre and saw a pack of yoof gathering. I stood on the other side of the road and with one hand raised in the air (pointing back and forwards to my voice) "send them to the work houses"

They looked over to which I repeated " send them to the work houses" when they came charging for me!!

I managed to run ahead and get to my car just before winding the window down for one final " send them to the work houses"

JimmyTheWig

What does pointing back and forwards to your voice mean?

Generali

I had an apple and 2 biscuits for my afternoon tea today. It was different to yesterday when I had an apple, half a peanut butter sandwich and a strawberry.

Tomorrow I think I'll probably have something entirely different for afternoon tea like a scone or maybe half a bottle of scotch with a wedge of kiwi fruit jammed into the top. It is Friday after all.

moneyinmypocket

The weather in the sky is like a great big apple pie

shortchanged_2

It is a very good story.

The only shame is the ending, where it would have been better if the yoof had caught him and pulled his skid stained Y fronts over his head.

Loughton_Monkey

Generali wrote: »

I had an apple and 2 biscuits for my afternoon tea today.

This is far too generous for workhouse inmates. I thought afternoon tea had been stopped under austerity measures.

Generali wrote: »

It was different to yesterday when I had an apple, half a peanut butter sandwich and a strawberry.

half a sandwich is better than none. Stop griping.

Generali wrote: »

Tomorrow I think I'll probably have something entirely different for afternoon tea like a scone or maybe half a bottle of scotch with a wedge of kiwi fruit jammed into the top.

No you won't. I've seen the menu. It's Humble Pie, Sour Grapes, and Hard Cheese.

Generali wrote: »

It is Friday after all.

It's Thursday, actually. Time flies when you're having fun.

Soon be time for the call.... "Right lads, back on yer heads..."

ukcarper

I though it was his best effort to date much more plausible than his previous attempts.

I would suggest this kind of behaviour is more risky than listening to peoples private conversations and if he keeps it up he might not be posting for much longer.


But then again I’m surprised the yoofs new what a workhouse was perhaps they thought he said !!!!!house and were just chasing him to find out where it was.

I wasn’t allowed to post !!!!!house but I’m sure you will know what I mean just take out the k and stick in an h and e.

Loughton_Monkey

moneyinmypocket wrote: »

I was walking down the road past the local job centre and saw a pack of yoof gathering.

It is not a pack of 'yoof'.

The correct collective noun in this instance is 'flock' [of yoof].

I know this, because at my local job centre, there is always a large crowd* of us wealthy old farts. We just stand there chanting "Get the flock out of here."

*PS perhaps someone knows the correct collective noun for a group of wealthy old farts?

nicko33

Loughton_Monkey wrote: »

*PS perhaps someone knows the correct collective noun for a group of wealthy old farts?

how about a Tory?

JimmyTheWig

Loughton_Monkey wrote: »

*PS perhaps someone knows the correct collective noun for a group of wealthy old farts?

A smell, maybe?

Loughton_Monkey

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

A smell, maybe?

I think you're on to something.....

A bouquet of wealthy old farts. Sound good.