Parental leave

Oki

Hi, my young child has recently been diagnosed with a cancer and has started a lengthy course of chemotherapy. This has all naturally been a terrible shock to the family. I work full time for a medium to large sized company, and have of course informed them of the situation.
They have been understanding in terms of having time off but they say they cannot pay me for any length of time other than the first few days (i have been off work for 2 weeks now). The first couple of months of treatment are going to be very intense and invasive and I absolutely want - and need - to be there for my child throughout.
Aside from regular hospital visits, he will need constant care and support.
My problem is that we cannot pay all of our bills without my wage. My husband has gone back to work, and we are starting to make cuts where we can but the added expense of petrol and hospital parking (for a start) is easily eating these up.
I've explained this to my employer and they have suggested that I work from home as much as I can to help alleviate financial difficulties. However I simply don't think that I could a) concentrate on work at the moment or b) have the time to work between hospital appointments and providing the extra care my child needs.
We are not entitled to any benefits other than DLA, which we can't claim for 3 months anyway.
The doctor has suggested that he could sign me off on long term sick but I'm a little worried about how this would affect my career in the long-term, and also whether this would affect any future insurance or financial needs (applying for life ins, or getting a mortgage). This is insignificant in comparison to the needs of my child right now however, so I'll do it if that's what it takes for me to be there. But I would like to know the implications of doing this, if anyone has any experience?

Mortgage_Reduction_Novice

Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't answer your question specifically but I do know that there is some financial support available through some charities. You can ask about this at the next hospital appointment but in the mean time try MacMillan.

Thoughts with you and family.

whitewing

Oki,

What a stressful situation, hope the chemo goes well for you little one.

It may be worth putting a post on the Moneysaving in Families etc board as well, as a number of users have had cancer or supported relatives through it. They may be able to provide hints on things like hospital parking etc. There also tend to be quite a few people around that board most times, whereas other boards can go quiet.

missbunbury

How awful for your family, I feel for you. Not very knowledgeable in this area, didn't want to read and run though. Have searched a bit and found http://www.nhs.uk/CarersDirect/workandlearning/work/Pages/Supportforcarersatwork.aspx which suggests towards the bottom that it might be possible to take a career break/sabbatical and claim Carer's Allowance? Also, if your income is reduced you could look into tax credits and whether they might be payable?

marybelle01

missbunbury wrote: »

How awful for your family, I feel for you. Not very knowledgeable in this area, didn't want to read and run though. Have searched a bit and found http://www.nhs.uk/CarersDirect/workandlearning/work/Pages/Supportforcarersatwork.aspx which suggests towards the bottom that it might be possible to take a career break/sabbatical and claim Carer's Allowance? Also, if your income is reduced you could look into tax credits and whether they might be payable?

I would second this very good suggestion - plus nip over to the benefits board if you haven't already and ask there. But a sabbatical, whilst it won't solve the money problem, may solve the worry of the career problem. You need to be aware that an employer doesn't have to agree one, and you might still lose your job in the end - but it is a much more positive thing on the CV. Even though most employers will sympathise and understand long term sickness in these circumstances, that doesn't always translate into being willing to take a risk on someone with that on their record. A sabbatical shows that you are both a caring and concerned parent and a responsible employee. You absolutely must put your child first right now, but when this is all over - and hopefully all for the good - then life must also go on for all of you, and you want to be in a strong position to recover from this traumatic time. Good luck.

Oki

Thanks all. I'll try other boards too for ideas, and certainly contact some charities for advice.
I think the best option to keep our income and my job is to take the sick leave, because I'll be entitled to full pay for 6 months. I just don't feel entirely comfortable with it seeing as I'm not technically sick. I'm assuming (although haven't asked the doctor yet) that it will be some sort of "stress" related reason. And of course I am stressed, but would potential future employers get to see this sick period, likewise any mortgage/insurance providers?

Takeaway_Addict

Oki wrote: »

Thanks all. I'll try other boards too for ideas, and certainly contact some charities for advice.
I think the best option to keep our income and my job is to take the sick leave, because I'll be entitled to full pay for 6 months. I just don't feel entirely comfortable with it seeing as I'm not technically sick. I'm assuming (although haven't asked the doctor yet) that it will be some sort of "stress" related reason. And of course I am stressed, but would potential future employers get to see this sick period, likewise any mortgage/insurance providers?

Given the reason for being stressed 99% of employers would be fully understanding once the reason is explained.

whitewing

On all the references I get asked for, yes, absence is always asked about. I guess it is up to the future employer how understanding they will be about it.

getmore4less

Work with your current employer to get through this.

if they are supportive and understanding then there will be a future with them even if the there is a blip and delay in any career progression.

Future employers should look at the context of any time off/away from work those that don't are probably not good employers in other ways.


Check the benifits, get help, some can be fast tracked. don't forget mobility based benifit like mobility allowance and blue badge if this is going to be relevent.

Also look at respite support, it is very hard looking after someone especialy family so you will need time off from care duties.


One thing to watch, we found that some parts of the support services will be happy to let you do stuff they should be providing if they think they can get away with it.

So make sure you get all the support the GP, community and hospitals should be providing.

Judith_W

You're not legally allowed to ask about sick leave in future jobs any more, this is considered discriminatory so don't worry about that. It will however have an impact on any health-related insurance.

marybelle01

Judith_W wrote: »

You're not legally allowed to ask about sick leave in future jobs any more, this is considered discriminatory so don't worry about that. It will however have an impact on any health-related insurance.

This isn't exactly true. They are not allowed to ask before a job offer is made. They can then. And they can then take it into account.