when you reach breaking point

VJsmum

PipneyJane wrote: »

To the wider readership, I do wonder whether it would be better if we were in a situation like Sweden where they pay you a decent amount of money if you're on unemployment benefit, instead of paying a pittance and then requiring you to apply separately for dozens of different benefits for which you may/may not qualify. OK, the Swedes don't get housing benefit, etc, but their unemployment benefit is sufficient to cover housing costs and transport, as well as giving the recipient a reasonable standard of living.

But the Swedes, I believe, pay 50% in income tax to pay for it. I also know that if you don't work / can't work and are unable to pay the rent on your appartment or house then you are required to move to a smaller one.

I am trying to persuade my DD to go to University in Sweden as all the classes are in English and free!! It would work out cheaper in the long run - even with flights home. THe cost of living isn't much higher than here.

Own_My_Own

I realised today,while speaking to some work colleagues, that I am coping better than a lot of them. This is not because I have more spare cash than them, quit the opposite.

I have never had more than them and do not find a tight budget something new, it's just sometimes a bit tighter.

Where as some of them are finding it a struggle to keep the luxuries they have (sky/ take -aways etc) we have never had them.

Watching what I put in my shopping basket is second nature, as is buying shop own brands.

My children are used to there not being spare cash, and so are used to waiting and saving for new trainers or games. Many of my colleagues children are not and they are having a bit of trouble with some of them

One actually said that they didn't know how I had lived like this for years. They were depressed after only months.

I have also never been under any pressure to keep face or keep up with the Jones. I don't think some of them really want to admit they are struggling.

I would really seem that you don't miss what you have never had.

ginger_tony

Your so right own your own (hope l got your name right) people have been living out with their means for a long time now but this is was a government statergy that went badly wrong, they encouraged spending, overindulgence and told us we can have it all.i know people who have 5 credit cards maxed to the hilt owing thousands ok people have been stupid but the banksters and the government have a lot to answer for they also need to share responsibility for this. I too lived within my means, my children havent been brought up to just expect things or designer wear and l have and still do get ridiculed for it. I actually had a family member saying to me im old fashioned in my frugility apparently a miser and l was out of order giving the children a set amount of money for christmas etc just recently she became unemployed and couldnt give her kids everything they wanted now the kids are playing up..although i was annoyed at the time l feel sorry for them I take them carbooting and they love it and she admitted her attitude was wrong as my kids are well mannered/adjusted happy children and look no different from their peers and they appreciate what they are given she just couldnt grasp that l could have spoiled my kids but chose not to. My kids are all thrifty and im proud my husband and l have shown them that debt is a choice and doesnt need to be a way of life. l feel sorry for those who have been sucked into this trap while those in power live in luxury we in this country who are not in the top earners etc are so under represented politically its scary and we nothing is gonna go our way.

GreyQueen

A number of years ago, somewhere between 10-12 years ago I guess, I was accosted on a shopping street one weekday by a tout from one of the Big Four banks trying to get me to take out a credit card.

But I don't have a job, I'm on benefits, I told her.

Quoth this minion of Satan, gaily That's not a problem!

It is for me, I retorted, and hobbled off.

Now let's just imagine I wasn't the brightest pebble on the beach, or that I had three kids at home and a busted cooker and no money to replace it...........might have been a different story out of ignorance or desperation. And I would have become one of the many debt-serfs.:(

I was raised thriftily and never had much money as was struck down by several chronic illnesses before I'd even finished my education, so never had to downsize as was never "up" in the first place. Yet I find myself astonished on a daily basis with colleagues who buy take-out lunches (and sometimes breakfasts as well) and run out of money almost 2 weeks before payday but never seem to join the dots between what they spend and what they don't have.

It's a free country and if you want to spend your money on takeouts, that's your business, but when I see how many single, childless people with decent pay struggle, I wonder how they'll ever cope if they have to raise a family on a lower income that they have for just themselves.

In fact, I was once rather sharp with one of my oldest friends who was repeatedly whining about how hard up he was and told him fer gossakes, plenty of people were raising families on less than he had for himself (true, incidentally). It set him back on his heels but we didn't fall out of it, I was driven to a level of frankness I don't normally inflict on my friends by sheer exasperation.:o

Jerryjerryjerry

PipneyJane wrote: »

(((((((((((JerryJerryJerry))))))))))))

I really hope things will look up for the two of you soon. Good luck with the job interview.

Was the mortgage taken out when you were both working? That's seriously high if it's based on just your husband's salary. Back when my job situation looked unstable, I'd wake up in the middle of the night worrying about the mortgage payments and what would happen if I lost my job. The job my DH did then - the only one he could get mid-recession - didn't pay enough to cover the mortgage, let alone anything else if that was the only income we had.

To the wider readership, I do wonder whether it would be better if we were in a situation like Sweden where they pay you a decent amount of money if you're on unemployment benefit, instead of paying a pittance and then requiring you to apply separately for dozens of different benefits for which you may/may not qualify. OK, the Swedes don't get housing benefit, etc, but their unemployment benefit is sufficient to cover housing costs and transport, as well as giving the recipient a reasonable standard of living.

Hi Pipney Jane. Actually, we have two mortgages. Its a bit of a long story, but I'll try to shorten it.
I got married 3.5 years ago, then moved in with my husband and his overbearing mother for five months while I sold my house in Surrey and found a house here in the Midlands. My husband remortgaged his mother's house and got 30k deposit to put down on our new house to go with my 40k and he told me that the money was owed to him by someone. I found out the truth about six months into the marriage. I was outraged that he'd borrowed money for a deposit! But you can only remain angry for so long. What is done is done. He did it out of some sort of stupid pride.

So... we had a mortgage payment of 500ish on this house, and his remortgage payment of 350 a month. Then last year, we reached breaking point, after having the house put right. We had to have a new boiler, new central heating, new bathroom (all from B&Q, not expensive). But still, it all added up. And then the house had to be plastered and painted.. and floorboards replaced. It was one thing after another. We ended up paying council tax and electric bills and food and petrol and all house renovating stuff on credit car. Then our car engine blew up and that cost another 3k or so which we paid by credit card. The credit card bill was then at 10k.

My bright idea was to put the Credit card debt onto the mortgage.. It was the only way I could sleep at night again. Even though the mortgage has increased, I find our debt more manageable, especially when I'm working!

Before I got married, I was never in debt, always paid my CC off in full each month. I am not the sort of person who gets into debt. If I had known DH was going to remortgage his mum's house (which is also in his name as well, jointly with her), I would have put my foot down and disagreed. My husband, as lovely as he is, is an ostritch. He is so bad with money, its unbelievable.

Last night, I only got 3 hours sleep in total, while he sleeps soundly.

By the way, i've had some really good news, I've got a 3 day temp booking, which is a huge help. Its only 7.50 per hour, but its something!

So its not all doom and gloom. I know that once I get a job, we will be back on track in no time.

I feel so sad for all of those on this thread who are worse off than me. I had no idea there were so many people in so much trouble financially!

ginnyknit

jerryjj its all relative how hard up people are, we are all standing together to get through it. Thanks to MSE I no longer feel stranded when I cannot get out - not been out the door since Sunday and then only took DGs home. I have lovely wise, funny friends who give me endless support on and off the site and are truly caring folk. Some of them even go out of their way to get me information on problems to help me solve them.

Thanks to MSE I got my PPI back just when the DWP stopped our benefits for some random reason, I have the cheapest electric in Britain and my stock cupboard is a thing of wonder and beauty.

I try in my small way to repay others as I believe in random acts of kindness if only in thought but sometimes in deed too. the only way to get through it all is doing your best bit by bit and its nice to have you with us on our journey.
Hope your few days work last a little longer and helps you out a bit. hugs ginny

Popperwell

VJsmum wrote: »

But the Swedes, I believe, pay 50% in income tax to pay for it. I also know that if you don't work / can't work and are unable to pay the rent on your appartment or house then you are required to move to a smaller one.

Sounds like that is the plan here then with the changes coming in but here they keep trying to give tax cuts...if you are paying 50% income tax I wonder what the wages are like...

Excellent posts Own My Own and Ginger Tony...we were always frugal and did not spend un-neccesarily but now in some ways I wish we had so these difficult times that are happening things would have been ok and set up for the remaining years I have left but things are as they are...

And as you both say many are living or have been living beyond their means and when it goes wrong it will hit them harder and be more of shock.

We can always hope to raise our standard of living or try and stay as we are but to come down to the level that most are having to survive will be harder to accept.

Here's a repet of omething I have said before...many who are depressed and stressed I suspect mainly have money problems...either not enugh for a normal life and those who have over spent and used credit and are now struggling. Of course other more sad reasons are causing such hurt but I think money will be the main reason if statistics were released.

CRANKY40

You can always come and live with us Ginnyknit. Plenty of room for a cat loving nana here.

GreyQueen, the take out food brigade always amazed me when I was at work. I do actually have a job, I'm on a career break at the moment, so getting by on widowed parents allowance, child benefit and a small MOD widows pension. I always took my own food to work.... why would you pay someone upwards of £2 just to make you a sandwich?

When did credit cards first appear? When I was small my mum and dad saved up for everything, apart from our 3 piece suite which my mum went and paid at the furniture shop every week, and the tv which was rented from redifusion. By the time I was 18 (1985) credit cards seemed to be the norm.

Payday loans are in the news just now, but isn't that what credit cards are to some people already? Payday loans that you just never pay off....

GreyQueen

CRANKY40 wrote: »

You can always come and live with us Ginnyknit. Plenty of room for a cat loving nana here.

GreyQueen, the take out food brigade always amazed me when I was at work. I do actually have a job, I'm on a career break at the moment, so getting by on widowed parents allowance, child benefit and a small MOD widows pension. I always took my own food to work.... why would you pay someone upwards of £2 just to make you a sandwich?

When did credit cards first appear? When I was small my mum and dad saved up for everything, apart from our 3 piece suite which my mum went and paid at the furniture shop every week, and the tv which was rented from redifusion. By the time I was 18 (1985) credit cards seemed to be the norm.

Payday loans are in the news just now, but isn't that what credit cards are to some people already? Payday loans that you just never pay off....

Credit cards were launched in the UK in 1966, but much earlier in the USA, but don't have the exact date but expect Mr Google knows.

I got my first (and only) credit card aged 40. I caused colleagues to fall about in mirth as I left my job one afternoon at the debt advice service announcing I was going to apply for a CC. Got one with my regular bank, only reason was I needed it as it was the only way of booking this particular accomodation in NZ.

Very rarely use it and have it set up to DD in full off the current account, so I treat it as a de facto debit card and don't spend what I don't have. I keep it as a fallback for travel and it's not a regular part of my economic life.

And ditto to the sarnies. Me and mine are the kind of local government workers whose job is typically and justifiably prefaced with "low paid" in journalism-speak. None of us are on Easy Street yet people are bleeding cash left, right and centre. Can't get over the expenditure as I like to have something to show for my money, like goods or excellent experiences, not wasting it on something I can easily and cheaply do for myself like a sarnie or pasta salad lunch.

ginnyknit

Thank you cranky, I think I would fit in well in your house, I could look after your cats, that seems to be a full time job in its self and I would bring my nanna's tin (like in the advert on tv) and feed the boy with yummy cakes,home made of course!

By the way Im only here at this time as DS just left for Cuba and I wouldnt miss saying au revoir. I can't wait to hea rall about his travels as I have never been abroad and Cuba sounds so exotic and is really really far away!

I remember renting Tv's they were quite cheap weren't they, Im sure we had one you put coins in the back of it - however I may be hallucinating due to the early hour :rotfl: I loved it when you got money back from the gas meter all in coins, my Mum worked miracles with that money:D and the cupboard always smelled vaguely of gas.