Debtdawg says enough is enough debt diary

debtdawg

Hello, I am Debtdawg. Couldn't really think of a witty and wonderful username, but I am in debt and I have a dog, so here we are!

After watching our debt double in the past year due to various overspends and errors along the way (car went to motor heaven so cleverly bought a new one on a credit card, as you do when you are terrible with money and can justify it in your head!). Our debt consolidation from last June sadly lasted all of two months before we started accruing more debt at a horrendous rate.

Anyway we have reached the point where our debt repayments are the same as our rent and both combined make up a huge amount of our monthly income. We overspend because we get depressed about money and then end up even more depressed and it has become a vicious circle. We skimp on necessities because of money and then have a blowout when it all becomes too much. In short it's just not working and we have had to face our debt head on now.

We like holidays, I like 'nice things' like nice toiletries and make-up and treats. I like to buy the children expensive toys at Christmas and Birthdays, I am the first to buy friends a coffee or cake if we're out, I struggle to connect with my children and find it easier to take them on expensive days out to cover up for the fact that I feel I am a failure as a mother and I don't know how to interact with them. I watched my father die at a young age and that frightens me and has led to the belief that 'life is too short to go without' when I am actually most likely shortening my life through the stress and depression that being in debt brings.

According to my spreadsheet our debt is approx $26843 (that's actually pounds but I can't work out how to change the keyboard config, grrr). Our DFD is January 2016. I am happy with that debt free date (but would rather be debt free tomorrow) as it's a long lesson learned. I would like to make extra funds around our tight budget from Quidco, Ebay etc and use this money for nice things rather than put it towards our debt as I know I probably should. This means that we can still have the odd cheap holiday/break/nice thing and keep us on the straight and narrow of debt repayment rather than living so frugally that we fall off the wagon and splurge like we have in the past. I will also be saving for the first time ever as my whole life has been spent paying off things that I have or have had rather than saving for them in the first place.

So, time to get to it I guess! My first aim is to try and list items on Ebay that I would normally charity bag, give away or even send to the tip *hangs head in shame*.

Any support along the way would be gratefully received

Fortune_Smiles

Welcome to MS Debtdawg. I'm a big Fleabay fan and have made hundreds of pounds over the years. I seem to remember there is some useful guidance on this site so might help to check that out first if you haven't already done so.

Good luck with everything.

Fortune x

debtdawg

Thank you

I have listed two dresses on Ebay today, hopefully if they sell then the money (after the extortionate fees ) can go towards the luxuries pot. It would only be a few pounds but it will be exciting seeing the savings go up and the debt going down.

I like the app for Ebay for my phone, it makes it so much easier than it used to be to list stuff to sell!

Pippilongstocking

Hey up, I'm sure if you're worried about connecting and being a mum, you're doing better than you think, they don't come with manuals!

Happy diary, goodluck with eBay apps certainly make life so much easier!

debtdawg

Aw thanks, that's really kind of you to say that. I just feel half the time like a total fraud and that the other mums I know seem so much more natural and I just feel wooden!!

Off to the beach tomorrow to find some shells and pebbles for a home project, DH painted the bathroom today and I want to make something to go in there (not sure what lol but I've seen lots of nice but expensive things lately in a little shabby chic homewares shop that I am sure I could have a go at) and then planning some baking in the afternoon. It seems like a good way to spend some time with them and save some money as well

BlueCrayon

Hey Debtdawg,

Thanks for popping by my diary, thought I'd come and say hello :wave:

Whilst not a mum I know what you mean about feeling a fraud, I spent most of my working life wondering when I was going to get caught out and not feeling up to scratch. But you're comparing your insides to others outsides and that's not a fair comparison. I took my niece and nephew geocaching and we had a picnic, they loved it and it cost me nothing more than the petrol.

I love making my own things too, I get the catalogues from expensive shops like Pedlars and Bombay Duck and use them as inspiration for my own creations. I sanded and painted a set of drawers my friend was going to bin and changed the knobs to some fancy ones I picked up at a TK Maxx. Just as nice as the £250 versions but for less than £10.

Hope you had a lovely morning at the beach!

BC x

please-let-me-be-lucky

Hi debtdawg and well done for facing things head on.

At the beginning of our debt free journey I found a spending diary a real eye opener. It was amazing how much we wasted without realising it and I thought I spent £50 per week on groceries but it was actually nearer double!!:eek:

This year I've put £20 a month away for christmas so when the time comes I've got funds available. I'm also making better use of things like clubcard voucher exchanges etc to buy toys. I do surveys that cash out in vouchers and also swagbucks which is a daily click site which pays out in amazon vouchers. Check out the 'make £10 per day challenge' over on the debt free wannabe board for more inspiration!

On top of this I enter competitions to try to win holidays/days out/cinema tickets/christmas presents/cash etc. I also find sites like Gr0up0n and L1v1ng Soc1al invaluable for cheap days out for the family.

I'm sure you are a great Mum. I also like to take the boys out on expensive days out but I've learnt that this is ok as a treat as long as it's balanced with lots of cheaper or free days too. Baking cakes and painting shells is great fun, as is letting them draw on the pavement with chalk or going for bike rides. Sometimes I give mine a box to take out for a walk and say we cant go home until we find 20 interesting things to put in the box. It's a way to drag things out a bit and then you can discuss it all when you get home too.

Sorry for the long post! I hope something within that load of waffle has been of use!

PLMBL x

debtdawg

Blue Crayon - thanks for popping by :wave: We had a good time, luckily the weather broke for a while and it was sunny as when I forced everyone out of the house with raincoats it was pouring down and they didn't seem very excited lol. It cost us $1.50 to park (stupid keyboard) and I managed to avoid spending anything else on rides/arcade games and even the delicious smelling doughnuts Picked up some rolls for lunch and eggs on the way home and spent less than $5 today which was great. Normally we would have spent over $20 at least and I would have offered the kids treats, but the kids barely asked for anything and when they did they were happy with a no.
We didn't have time for baking in the end as we made things all afternoon, but that gives us something to do tomorrow afternoon. I have promised to take the children swimming tomorrow morning so that will be $14 for a family ticket and I know they will be hungry afterwards so it's going to be either a packed lunch or a Happy Meal treat afterwards for them (I guess they are still around $2 each?), bringing the spend including parking to around $20. We won't be doing anything then until Friday so Tues-Thurs should be no spend days.
I'm going to type this up and then go for a bit of a pamper session which was a tip from your diary Blue Crayon - well a soak in the bath, face-mask and slathering on the moisturiser. There isn't much point in doing a whole lot else as I will be a mess after swimming tomorrow lol.

please-let-me-be-lucky - loads of useful tips there! I am rubbish at Christmas time and am probably still paying off Christmases from years ago! My mum has always done a thrift so I am not sure why that hasn't rubbed off tbh
I will check out the $10 a day thread and also the sites that you have mentioned, swagbucks sounds interesting as I normally use Amazon quite a bit around Christmas time and they often have some good deals on.
Thorpe Park was just on the tv and DS asked if we could go but based on everything that we have coming up between now and Christmas (car tax, MOT, a wedding, school uniforms and shoes, swimming lessons, DDs birthday party and presents, youngest DS's birthday, a short break at the end of September with DH and the baby (whilst the other two are at their dads) that I booked impulsively through Dealcloud before my LBM ) and Christmas itself we won't be able to do days like that until next year as they involve a hotel stay for us so costs spiral. However it will be good to build up a fund so we can do short breaks with the kids that we have paid for in advance, without adding them to a credit card like we have in the past. I definitely think we will appreciate them more and also think more carefully about what we spend our money on when it's taken time and effort to save it rather than just whacking it on the never never!!

cazmanian_minx

I bet you most of the other mums feel exactly the same - have you come across Imposter Syndrome? Most women have it about something or other; I'm not a parent so for me it's work.

(Hello, by the way!)

elly68

hi debt dawg,ours is about the same as urs its easy to add to it and not pay back its sort of like my weight easy to go on but hard to come off lol .against the advice of the snowball i am going for a small debt first just so i can see it go lol,hopefully dh will then get a bt and then we can tackle my little one this can be done and will be done.
i am challenging myself to tidy bank account and gather money that i have lying about to make first pad .
also setting myself the challenge of ebay +£2 coins to pay for santa
good luck chin up and see ur on your way x

BlueCrayon

Sounding good in here Debtdawg! I'm doing the same pamper wise, nice hot bath and face mask from my stash.

I don't know which bit of the coast you're on but here I find a short drive away from the main tourist bit gets you free parking and no food shops/arcades to tempt the money out from my purse. I'm starting to resent paying for anything! :A

We were lucky and had gorgeous sunny weather on our walk, unfortunately the heavens opened when we were driving back and my washing was still on the line. By the time it got back it was wetter than when it came out of the machine. :mad:

I'm going to start swagbucks too, do you fancy a little challenge? We could both aim to get a certain amount of Amazon vouchers by a certain date? I always like a bit of a motivation as I hate to be the one that doesn't succeed!

Enjoy your evening,

BC x