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My cat's a bully.
pimento
Posts: 6,243 Forumite
We have three cats. Two old girls that we've had for about 11 years who rub along together OK and a young male (neutered) who we have had since he was six weeks old. He's now three.
Recently, one of the old girls (Cleo) has become terrified of the boy and she will run when she sees him, won't eat with or near him and will stay out if she sees him near the cat door.
He has been known to chase her off my lap or off the bed. He is very attached to me because when we got him he was too young to have left his mum (not our fault) and he sees me as his mum. Sleeps on my head and all that. Funnily enough, he won't sit on my lap, though.
Our problem is that we're going away in November for a whole month. My mum will be coming in twice a day to feed and change the litter and I was planning on keeping them in while we were away so she wouldn't have any trouble losing them or anything like that BUT, the boy will almost certainly stress Cleo right out if they're all kept indoors.
Should I kennel the boy? Or is that cruel?
What to do?
Recently, one of the old girls (Cleo) has become terrified of the boy and she will run when she sees him, won't eat with or near him and will stay out if she sees him near the cat door.
He has been known to chase her off my lap or off the bed. He is very attached to me because when we got him he was too young to have left his mum (not our fault) and he sees me as his mum. Sleeps on my head and all that. Funnily enough, he won't sit on my lap, though.
Our problem is that we're going away in November for a whole month. My mum will be coming in twice a day to feed and change the litter and I was planning on keeping them in while we were away so she wouldn't have any trouble losing them or anything like that BUT, the boy will almost certainly stress Cleo right out if they're all kept indoors.
Should I kennel the boy? Or is that cruel?
What to do?
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair
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Comments
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Maybe a break apart could do some good. It might help Cleo relax a little and give her a break.
Also the boy might chill out a little. Just make sure you give him fuss when he gets back so he know your not mad with him.First Date 08/11/2008, Moved In Together 01/06/2009, Engaged 01/01/10, Wedding Day 27/04/2013, Baby Moshie due 29/06/2019 :T0 -
I am going to have to separate them aren't I?"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair0
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You could try a Feliway Diffuser...0
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Who was top cat up until recently? You could work on re-training the male between now and November, use a Feliway diffuser to calm the female. Just because he sees you as his mother doesn't mean the behaviour is acceptable now he is an adult, his own mother would have long since boxed his ears or pinned him down (not suggesting you actually do this). If you don't take action beforehand you may find the boy is even more possessive when you return, having been separated from you and wanting to reassert his dominance in the household.
To be honest keeping all your cats indoors for a full month without regular stimulation is not that fair, cats are highly intelligent creatures. It would be kinder to put them all in a good cattery so they can be played with and given individual affection several times a day. Otherwise use a catflap that can be locked to in only or timings set so they can all go out but your mother can check the cats are home each day.
Catteries are not as bad as you think, mine and my friend's have both been in the same one and when I collected my girl I was blown away by how well her boy is responding. He is an ex stray that took months to stop being vicious, has only ever sat on her lap twice, dislikes house guests and other cats. After a week he will approach the staff for affection.
Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️0 -
Yes, they have worked in the past. I'm just worried about my mum really. We can cope but she's not a cat owner and I want to make our absense as stress-free as possible for everyone involved."If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair0
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Who was top cat up until recently? You could work on re-training the male between now and November, use a Feliway diffuser to calm the female. Just because he sees you as his mother doesn't mean the behaviour is acceptable now he is an adult, his own mother would have long since boxed his ears or pinned him down (not suggesting you actually do this). If you don't take action beforehand you may find the boy is even more possessive when you return, having been separated from you and wanting to reassert his dominance in the household.
To be honest keeping all your cats indoors for a full month without regular stimulation is not that fair, cats are highly intelligent creatures. It would be kinder to put them all in a good cattery so they can be played with and given individual affection several times a day. Otherwise use a catflap that can be locked to in only or timings set so they can all go out but your mother can check the cats are home each day.
Catteries are not as bad as you think, mine and my friend's have both been in the same one and when I collected my girl I was blown away by how well her boy is responding. He is an ex stray that took months to stop being vicious, has only ever sat on her lap twice, dislikes house guests and other cats. After a week he will approach the staff for affection.
This cheers me up. Cleo was always top cat. The other girl is more attached to my husband. My intention was for my mum to open the cat door when she comes in the morning and close it when she does the evening feed. Cleo is out all day and the other girl sits on the back step and goes no further. The boy is in and out all the time. I'm at work all day usually and my husband works from home.
I think the boy could benefit from a spell in the cattery. It's not a cheap option but I'd enjoy my holiday more if I thought they were all happy."If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair0 -
Oh and how do I re-train the boy?"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair0
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This cheers me up. Cleo was always top cat. The other girl is more attached to my husband. My intention was for my mum to open the cat door when she comes in the morning and close it when she does the evening feed. Cleo is out all day and the other girl sits on the back step and goes no further. The boy is in and out all the time. I'm at work all day usually and my husband works from home.
I think the boy could benefit from a spell in the cattery. It's not a cheap option but I'd enjoy my holiday more if I thought they were all happy.
Oh and how do I re-train the boy?
Could be that your boy has decided Cleo is too old to be top cat anymore then? Basically you want to reward good behaviour and 'punish' bad behaviour. By 'punish' the best would be time out/ ignore because he is wanting to get you all to himself. So the second you see any bad cat body language or actions the boy is swiftly scruffed and shut out of the room, I believe you should not communicate much, maybe just a strong NO! You need to do this even at mealtimes and in the middle of the night, it must be consistent. If your boy is in the room with Cleo and is being nice, he gets affection or playtime from you or your husband depending on who is available. You might consider having your husband clicker train your boy so that they form a stronger bond and he is the one associated with most of the rewards. There are clicker training videos on YouTube including reinforcing good behaviour around other cats.Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️0 -
I would definitely put the male in a cattery, can you imagine the bliss your old girls will feel, It be great for them having some peace for a whole month............make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
and we will never, ever return.0 -
I'm sure the girls will be happy, it's the boy I'm more worried about."If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair0
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