Likelihood of getting a loan

ILW

Dump the husband may be the only solution.
Taking out loans is not going to help at all.

CLAPTON

bach230 wrote: »

I don't really know where we can spend less - although our sky bill is more expensive again we have actually combined the tv, phone and internet instead of having it spread so we've cut out paying BT for our line rental and calls, though we rarely ever use the house phone anyway. At least one payment will be stopping at the end of September which will save us £135 each month so that can be used to help pay back the overdraft.

To be honest i think i would rather seperate the financial affairs, i.e. just have my name on the account that pays the bills as i believe we can still afford this between the two of us but we are unable to take his name off the account due to it being overdrawn. I have his card so he has no access from an ATM but still has the account on his online access - again though he cannot take this off due to the account being overdrawn.

you seem is total denial

you need to sit down with OH and agree that both of you will keep spending diaries; keep a copy of where every single pound goes
start today; that means every single pound and review daily or weekly

draw up a proper budget and monitor that actual spending very closely
try
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html


psot the results up on the debt free wannabe board and sek support and ideas over there

you only have one chance of a life; you need to consider if theis is the way you want to live it.

bach230

opinions4u wrote: »

If you can't trust him to cut back, perhaps a more significant gesture is required.

Example??

Clapton - I think it's my husband that is more in denial than i am. I know there is a problem etc but i don't know how much more i can do to help out. I have put quite a few, probably, £1000's of pounds into the joint account to constantly bail it out but he just abuses any help he gets. This is where the main problem is - it gets to a point where he is really sorry, gets very upset, cries for help etc and then goes back on his word and abuses help given. I have advised him to seek help but i don't know if he would actually take the plunge and get the help he needs.

ILW

bach230 wrote: »

Example??

Clapton - I think it's my husband that is more in denial than i am. I know there is a problem etc but i don't know how much more i can do to help out. I have put quite a few, probably, £1000's of pounds into the joint account to constantly bail it out but he just abuses any help he gets. This is where the main problem is - it gets to a point where he is really sorry, gets very upset, cries for help etc and then goes back on his word and abuses help given. I have advised him to seek help but i don't know if he would actually take the plunge and get the help he needs.

Sue for divorce, the man is a loser and will bring you down with him.

jumperjohn

He obviously doesn't care for you or his child. He needs to grow up, work hard and clear this debt.

bargainbetty

You will not get a further loan.

Anyone you ask to be a guarantor is going to end up hating you both. You can't manage now, so how long before you couldn't pay it and it would fall on them.

Same goes for a loan in someone else's name. Shame on him for even thinking that one.

Do a budget, and show him it. Show him what it is doing to your home and family. Tell him outright that the day you can't pay the household bills because of him, his a**e is out the door. He needs to grow up, quite frankly.

Stop helping him with money - you are bailing him out, and he needs to learn.

You only have two options here - you can go on a DMP and freeze the accounts, which would also stop him getting credit for years, or you can work together to cut your expenses. That's your lot.

The next time he suggests getting out a loan to pay the bills, ask him for details of what he has spent on Amazon in the last month. Point out that if he hadn't spent it, you could have paid the bills. Keep showing him that he is the problem, not his inability to get more credit.

I wish you luck, I have a horrible feeling that you are going to need it.

Apples2

bach230 wrote: »

I have advised him to seek help but i don't know if he would actually take the plunge and get the help he needs.

I know it sounds like everyone is on your case bach but people a genuinely trying to help.
It is obvious from us "outsiders" both what the problem is, and how it can be resolved.

If you managed to get a guarantor, or someone else to borrow for you, it would not change a thing other than you losing a VERY good friend.
You would both just dumpt the debt onto the friend and carry on as you are without repaying a penny of it (we see it often on here, so much so there is a sticky warning against agreeing to do it).

Sky need to be cancelled today, get on the phone now, then call around everyhting else being wasted on subscriptions.

Does he have a games console which needs ebaying along with games?

you gave us two options in the opening post, none of us agree with them.
I'll give you the real two options:

1. Earn more money
2. Reduce Spending

There are no more options.... This board can help you out with both options, we have an "Up your income" board with suggestions and advice and a DFW Board for reducing the spending.
The Loans board is the wrong board to be on.

Good luck to you, we are on your side

Somerset

bach230 wrote: »

I think it's my husband that is more in denial than i am...... it gets to a point where he is really sorry, gets very upset, cries for help etc and then goes back on his word and abuses help given. .

The thing is you know the problem. You've obviously tried to change his behaviour many times. It hasn't changed.

What do you do? Do you stay together and constantly fire-fight or ???

Btw, the guarantor thing isn't fair. You know it isn't and you know what'll happen when things settle down.

Good Luck. It's a horrible position to be in. And it must be hard hard work trying to juggle/organise/research/sell/cut-back to keep the wheels on the train when essentially your O/H is constantly sabotaging the train.

KingElvis

Sell all the rubbish he's been blowing your cash on if he doesn't like it, tell him to "hit the bricks" and beat it.

CLAPTON

get him to read this thread