garentor. was i right to refuse?

sparklefrog

You made the right decision. The fact that he can only get a loan by using a guarantor is a BIG RED FLAG that lenders are unwilling to lend to him as he is high risk of defaulting so are looking to insure their loan.

The problem with lending to family is that they feel comfortable enough to take liberty's. A bank will pressure them for payment, but family on the whole will give them leeway due to emotional attachments and unfortunately people in desperate situations will be prone to take advantage of that.
Once they start defaulting, then due to their own guilt they will avoid contact or project their guilt onto you, to try and make out your the one being unreasonable.

The bottom line is the guy is considered a high risk. Unless you are willing and able to pay back that loan (always assume worst case scenario) then I would avoid.

It would be more worthwhile giving them details of how they can draw up an soa and get themselves on a DMP and make some inroads into sorting out their debts than just putting a sticking plaster over the problem.

Though I have the feeling that they may not appreciate that offer and will more likely get stung by online brokers or fall into the payday loan trap.

Whatever they do they are both adults, ultimately they are responsible for their own mess not you, you have nothing to feel guilty about.
you can offer your emotional or practical support, but steer clear of any financial help unless you are prepared to write that money off.

Saturnalia

Yes, you did right. The fact that he needs a guarantor shows he's considered a flight risk, and you obviously either can't afford to gift him the money, or don't want to, or both! (and that's absolutely fine!)

So a straight "no" was the best response for you to give, and you did it, so don't feel bad.

bargainbetty

Hardly needed, but I also wanted to say you did exactly the right thing.

His personal situation with bereavements is neither here nor there. His financial situation is. He has wrecked his own credit to a point where he cannot obtain it, and was downright stupid to consider dragging someone else into it too.

If he asks again, tell him politely that you don't believe in lending that kind of money to friends, and you cannot afford to make repayments on a loan, should something happen to him. If he pushes it, as one person did with me, just politely ask if the banks don't think he can make the repayments, why should you? Better lose him now by being honest, than lose him and £2k down the line.

purple.sarah

You were right not to be a guarantor. You would have got stuck with the repayments if they defaulted, which would have affected your relationship more than refusing.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

i cant afford 2k nor would i lend him it if i had it, if i had £500 i would lend it him on a agreement i own the car and keep the spare key incase he defaulted in paying it on a 2 strikes your out system. im currently less than month away from my wedding day and most of my money goes into it after paying the essentials.

Elvisia

If he does ask you for more, then just say 'no'. I always used to give piles of excuses for why I can't do something, often going into some massive story, which the person then picked holes in and I'd end up in a corner where there was no way I couldn't say yes. Then someone very wise said to me "why are you giving them so many reasons? Just say no and that's that". And now I just say no I can't do xyz and it's remarkably effective! Even on my most psychotic of friends.

AlexLeigh

Cruel to be kind I think