Work socials

Sambucus_Nigra

pjcox2005 wrote: »

It's a sad reflection that so many moan or disparage people who put in the effort to socialise with people they spend the majority of their time with.

A sad reflection of what? That we have lives outside of work?

IMHO that's a happy reflection not a sad one. If you have no life outside work then that's your look out, not mine.

Idiophreak

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

A sad reflection of what? That we have lives outside of work?

Meh, I've always found the people who have such *amazing lives* outside of work that they can't spare a couple of hours once every few months to have a natter and maybe even be given *free beer* are usually the people who are "busy" loading the dishwasher, watching Eastenders or just trying to bite their own ears off...

Sambucus_Nigra

Idiophreak wrote: »

Meh, I've always found the people who have such *amazing lives* outside of work that they can't spare a couple of hours once every few months to have a natter and maybe even be given *free beer* are usually the people who are "busy" loading the dishwasher, watching Eastenders or just trying to bite their own ears off...

That says more about you than it says about people who don't want to 'socialise' outside of work. Perhaps they find you more boring than the above tasks? Just a thought.

Uncertain

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Perhaps they find you more boring than the above tasks? Just a thought.

Priceless!

williacg

Idiophreak wrote: »

Meh, I've always found the people who have such *amazing lives* outside of work that they can't spare a couple of hours once every few months to have a natter and maybe even be given *free beer* are usually the people who are "busy" loading the dishwasher, watching Eastenders or just trying to bite their own ears off...

Perhaps you're right, however, what I choose to do with my free time, away from work, is my own business, whether that be sorting through dirty laundry or mowing the lawn, you can keep your free beer.

There are enough rules and regulations that you have to abide by when at work (quite rightly so), attending training and team building events, smiling and making small talk with people I might personally dislike, but it has to be done for the sake of good working relations, however, when it comes down to my own personal time, that's another matter.

Evilm

Idiophreak wrote: »

Meh, I've always found the people who have such *amazing lives* outside of work that they can't spare a couple of hours once every few months to have a natter and maybe even be given *free beer* are usually the people who are "busy" loading the dishwasher, watching Eastenders or just trying to bite their own ears off...

I think I'd bite my own ears off rather than work with you all day and then be expected to go to a social event with you afterwards!

(slightly tongue in cheek but I find the attitude you show in the post annoying - People have no right to say what I should or shouldn't do with my free time.)

thorsoak

Its been my experience that the best "office outings/work dos" are those that are spontaneous.

In my previous existence when I worked in the City, it was "always known" that on the Thursday after payday each month, in the local branch of Balls Bros a certain table would be "bagged" by some members of staff (never actually nominated - just whoever could get out on time) - and that there would some food, paid for out of the lottery fund (ie - if we ever won a tenner on the syndicate, it went in the pot) - and everyone would buy their own beer/wine.

Sometimes payday thursday would be over by 7ish, other times we'd be rushing to catch the last train home ...it just depended on who was there/what we were laughing/moaning about!

Should also add - sometimes everyone from the dept would be there - other times just a couple of people - depended upon what commitments others had.

mandragora_2

I'm reading this thread and thinking 'Oh thank God'. I had seriously thought it was just me. The last place I worked was relentlessly out-of-hours social-get-togethers fixated, and you'd be judged negatively if you didn't join in.

Given that it was led by a powerful clique, that I wasn't ever part of, that I had small children at the time, and that we live miles away from the centre of all things social, I spent far too many hours of my time on this planet trying to fit in, be nice, spend money I didn't have, with people who made it pretty clear that I wasn't one of the in-crowd and would be tolerated only if I didn't show myself up, and, pathetically, driving home in tears more than once, before I realised what an utter waste of time and energy it all was and just started to say 'No'.

It didn't make me any *cooler*, but I was a lot happier and felt an amazing sense of relief when I stopped going along with it. It was surprising after I dropped out, how many others also quietly found they were suddenly 'busy' that night, too. If you knew me, and knew how strong and independent I am normally, you'd be surprised to see me admit the above - I sort of am myself, but it's a pervasive and powerful beast when it gets established. After 15 years there, I was so relieved when I changed jobs to a workplace where it wasn't part of that culture, that when someone suggested setting up out of hours socials, I quietly strangled the idea at birth. Long live positive working relationships in work hours, happy and healthy family and social lives outside work, and with only as much mingling between the two worlds as the individuals concerned are hapy with. Let the rest of us go home at home time.

So, if you ask my opinion, I'd say 'Don't bother.' If you want to enhance your cv, take a night class. If you want to enhance your social life, take up samba classes.

Cor. Thats clearly been bottled up for some time!

alright_dave

We have the odd socials at work, just have it organised by ourselves, we all know each other have their own lives to lead, so we tend to do things in the morning, next week we're going out for a round of golf and then to the pub for a few beers. Be home by 2 and still have the day to do with what I want. If people don't want to come then that's fine.

I've worked with people who I've hated, and when invited out, told them I have no intention of ever socializing with them.

Just do what ever makes yourself happy, stop trying to make other people happy.

gibson123

I quite enjoy a lunch or an after work beer with colleagues. We are all so busy that we barely have the time to pass the time of day, ask how the family is or generally get to know each other. there are people in my office that I don't know the names off, the odd social gives us time to get to know each other better. It is always the same few people who do the organising and rather than disparaging them they always get drinks bought and a nice gift at Christmas.