really stuck!

vanie

dear all,

I am really in my darkest hour.

Due to sheer stupidity & recklessness i find myself with a £42k debt which i cannot afford to service anymore.

Whilst i am working on the reasons that brought me to this point and hope to battle my demons, i made the first step to deal with the problem.

I contacted payplan and i am working on a DMP of £800 per month. I haven't started it yet. As a matter of fact, i think that I have just missed two d/d for Barclaycard and i am ready to tell marbles that i cannot afford the full payments and will need to wait for payplan to send them the paperwork. the phonecalls will start and I am really scared though of the unknown. Any advice???

In addition , I have to tell my other half. She is unaware of the extend of the problem and has lovingly and loyally supported me all over the years. Really dark thoughts cross my mind!

Sorry for burdening you with my problems. It is just nice to be able to air these issues.

many thanks

nimbo

i didn't want to read and run -

I know nothing about DMP's but you're in the right place for advice.

People will be able to advise you about how to deal with it all.

Big hugs. xx

copier_guy

Hey Vanie,

Im sure it will work out with your other half.

Keep smiling

ineedcash

Hi

you sound like your in the same boat as me. I to was scared about the calls and starting a DMP, I have just made my first payment and most creditors have written to me accepting the offers , only one credtor kept calling me but now I have told then to only contact me by post. Get that Dmp started, it was the best thing I ever did knowing now the debt will go down and not get worse. good luck

Lensman_2

I once was in a place where I was £1,000 a month short of my commitments and facing not being able to buy food for me and the cats. The redundancy money had gone and all my worthwhile assets had been sold - I had nowhere to go.

It became an issue of life and death for me (not literally - just in my way of thinking about it). All the worrying and fighting to stay afloat of the previous year or so had boiled down to bills or food. And I decided on food. That night, I cancelled the direct debits and standing orders. £1,000 less to pay and my situation became sustainable.

I still live with the fallout from that moment, but it is nowhere near as bad as I thought it might be. Yes, my credit rating is toast. Yes, I have DCAs hassling for more money every 6 months (and that is not pleasant...) And yes, I am driving around in a Mk3 Golf instead of a 5 series BMW.

But, I have not looked back. Living without credit can be difficult and requires a change in thinking (and some getting used to). But it seems more honest.

I still feel guilty about the way it went and that still keeps me awake at night sometimes. But I definitely did the right thing back then.

I am not saying this is right for you. But if it is, it isn't the disaster you might think it will be.

It IS only money after all.

Good luck.

P.S. I am down from £72k to £57k from that darkest hour. Still a long way to go, but it is not hopeless.

dancingfairy

Whilst your debt level looks pretty high it also appears that your dmp payment will be pretty high as well.
At least it can only go down now!
I do however think you really need to confess all to the OH. She may well be gutted and extremely upset at first but hopefully she will calm down and support you (and you will no longer be hiding the debts).
Do you know how you got in a pickle? Was it spiralling interest charges? Did you stupidly try and impress your OH by wining and dining her? I can well understand that you put off telling her becaue you didn't want her to worry and then I guess it got more out of hand etc etc? Hopefully she will understand this (even if it perhaps wasn't the best strategy). You also are taking steps to resolve the issue which surely is the main thing now?
Best of Luck
df

vanie

Thank you very much for all your responses. It is really encouraging to know that one is not alone.

As a matter of fact the debt is a combination of gambling and interest payments. As the losses continued, the debt grew gradually - from negligible to easily managed to I can cope with it to i just pay the minimum and hope for the lottery to the current situation.

I am seeking specialist help to adress the addiction but in the meantime, the debt needs dealing with.

i will have the chat with my wife tomorrow. see how it goes

Reading other threads , i think that what i have put down as expenses are a bit higher but then if my wife chucks me out, i will have to pay rent and maintenance which will be much more than the few extra £ claimed or doesn't this make any difference?

I am not sure whether the creditors will freeze interest or not but I hope that they will accept the offer. In contrast to the £800 on offer the contractuak payments are £1150. I hope that i will be able to clear it in 4-5 years.