New job:Sick leave dilemma

McKneff

Just what is this boss who is bullying and intimidating you actually doing.

Do you take any blame for any of this.

MissSarah1972

SueC wrote: »

I think if you check with pretty much anyone that's been through it you will find that, depending on whereabouts they are in the treatment cycle, there are days when they feel absolutely capable of going to the cinema or out for lunch.

Obviously there are also days when they are not, but if they do feel able, why the heck shouldn't they just because they are off work sick? Surely they should be 'allowed' to let their life continue as normally as possible under the circumstances. No?

If you won't take my word for it, read the bottom of page 8:
http://www.geh.nhs.uk/services/Cancer/ChemotherapyBooklet.pdf

There's far too much ignorance about cancer (and many other illnesses for that matter) without people believing that anyone affected should be housebound for the duration of their treatment!

Yeah thanks for the link. I had a friend who died last year after a long hard battle and she was on chemotherapy.

I think the OP however is having no treatment for strees.

EasyItalian

No Sambuca Nigra, I most certainly wasn't accusing you!

micflair wrote: »

Its caused by your current bullying manager? But yet its so bad your `illness' will vanish when you go working elsewhere? If your so sure this is the case then your not `stressed' at all. Get back to work.

Im sick of people using `stress' as an excuse because they have been given stick by there boss. When your working in iraq as our brave armed forces boys and girls are, not knowing if your going to be alive after the next `shift'... now thats stress.

Hmm. Well that's what they signed up to do, I believe. Armed Forces... it's in the job title, innit? Not that I don't support them, but "there" stress goes with the territory. Or someone else's territory...

Back to my original problem. After speaking with the HR 'Team' I have been told I must attend the appointment with the new employer. So all good. Thank you all for your input.

Actually, as a newcomer to this site it's pretty obvious to me that a lot of you post replies without actually giving any authority at all. On other fora (that means forum plural for the DM readers ) most people qualify their comments by saying that they work in HR or law or something. So it would be really helpful, I think, if people on here could give some kind of qualification to their posts.

Thank you

Mischa8

I realise OP is off sick (stress implications).

However I have 2 final points to make:-


1. Ask if you can say work through lunch hour (or 2) to make up the hour needed to leave early.

2. If it's a question of changing then change at work (and again, take time off lunch hour).

Then - on my reckoning how can your current work be annoyed if you are making up time or not?

Also, find out details of the event and if it is that necessary to attend then point this out to the old boss/manager. They surely would want you to be trained up etc.

Another point I just thought of:-

* This time off could be half a day and used either within your holiday entitlement (if any left) or unpaid leave. Then you'd get not only your hour but also other hours added up to make half a day's leave.

Personally whether it's right, wrong, bullying or not etc I think your current employer thinks you're being a bit obstructive/belligerent about this sudden *stress related illness* hence them almost forcing you not to attend this training. I can sort of see their point.But can see your viewpoint too.

I have had stress related illnesses too by the way but I was *belligerent* and just refused to go in, pleading migraines and stress. My company at the time knew all this, doctors etc and our boss was already being investigated for a bullying matter against another staff member. Nice eh?

Uncertain

EasyItalian wrote: »

............. most people qualify their comments by saying that they work in HR or law or something. So it would be really helpful, I think, if people on here could give some kind of qualification to their posts.

Up to a point yes but the problem is you have no way of verifying any such claim.

Too many people simply vent their opinions without any real understanding of the legal position. Others assume that whatever they have encountered in their work is the norm and applies equally in all fields.

I think the best bet is to ignore the obvious rants, plus those that are semi literate then have a look at some previous posts from the more convincing.

In other words, apply my signature line to all posters!

As somebody once said, you can fool some of the people some of the time but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.

EasyItalian

Uncertain wrote: »

Up to a point yes but the problem is you have no way of verifying any such claim.

Too many people simply vent their opinions without any real understanding of the legal position. Others assume that whatever they have encountered in their work is the norm and applies equally in all fields.

I think the best bet is to ignore the obvious rants, plus those that are semi literate then have a look at some previous posts from the more convincing.

In other words, apply my signature line to all posters!

As somebody once said, you can fool some of the people some of the time but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.

Excellent, thank you!

McKneff

McKneff wrote: »

Just what is this boss who is bullying and intimidating you actually doing.

Do you take any blame for any of this.

Any answer to this then, bullying is all relative and it depends on the circumstances and the persons perception of bullying and how they deal with it.

Me, I'm 7stone 5, I'd be just telling them to do one. Full stop, but I realise not every can do this confidently

SandC

Easyitalian glad you have got things sorted but on your point about being unqualified to give advice....

This is a public forum and forums are not the place to go for qualified advice - the majority of posters are giving an opinion, offering support or merely entering a debate or joining in a conversation.

Just look up and to the right for the forum rules.

marybelle01

SandC wrote: »

Easyitalian glad you have got things sorted but on your point about being unqualified to give advice....

This is a public forum and forums are not the place to go for qualified advice - the majority of posters are giving an opinion, offering support or merely entering a debate or joining in a conversation.

Just look up and to the right for the forum rules.

Absolutely. And nor does advice you don't like mean it is wrong advice - it means it is advice you don't like. It's very nice that HR have confirmed your permission. It could just as easily have gone the other way and then what - the advice you didn't like would have still been right, but it would also have been the fact!

By the way, I have no idea what people who read the Daily Mail think, but the word "forums" is the correct use in English - "fora" is actually Latin, and although I don't read the Daily Mail, I am quite certain it wasn't in Latin the last time I looked. And since you require refrences for all authorative statements Ref: Modern English Usage, 2nd Edition, ed. Sir Ernest Gowers, Oxford 1968 (article '-um', p.658).

poet123

marybelle01 wrote: »

Absolutely. And nor does advice you don't like mean it is wrong advice - it means it is advice you don't like. It's very nice that HR have confirmed your permission. It could just as easily have gone the other way and then what - the advice you didn't like would have still been right, but it would also have been the fact!

By the way, I have no idea what people who read the Daily Mail think, but the word "forums" is the correct use in English - "fora" is actually Latin, and although I don't read the Daily Mail, I am quite certain it wasn't in Latin the last time I looked. And since you require refrences for all authorative statements Ref: Modern English Usage, 2nd Edition, ed. Sir Ernest Gowers, Oxford 1968 (article '-um', p.658).

I disagree. If you look at the facts, there was no chance that any HR dept with any nous, would, under the circumstances outlined; where the OP has already given notice, rescind permission based on the type of event and the certificated illness of the OP.

Nor could they be seen to condone the attempt at harassment by the manager. That would have been certain fodder for a constructive dismissal tribunal.