How do you do it???

always-skint_2

I've been reading the forums and the stories of those of you who have paid vast amounts of debt off are so inspirational! but.....

How do you do it?? I really feel like I'm simply never going to get out of debt. I work, and bring home an average income but still seem to be getting nowhere. I know my debts are my own fault, I was a single parent for such a long long time and always tried to give my son the best, always tried to keep up with my friends who had no commitments, and because of this I now owe approximately £10,000 on cards . Enough is enough, I really really need to get out of debt so I can start enjoying my life.

I am well able to manage all my monthly minimum payments, and try to pay off more where I can. Problem is there is always something popping up that needs paying for. It seems to be a vicious circle , For example, at the end of this month I'll be able to overpay £200 on one of my cards but my son needs a new school uniform and the car needs it's MOT. Daily expenses seem to be never ending too.....I'm constantly having to nip to the shops for bread, milk, etc.

My partner recently moved in with me and he has no idea of the extent of my debts. Sure, he knows I have cards, but he has no idea just how much and I'm too ashamed to tell him.

I'm even considering approaching my bank for a loan to consolidate everything......I know it's not generally a good idea......but at least that way everything will be in one place, with one simple monthly payment (?)

Please please tell me it gets better and that I'll get there someday. Any tips would be appreciated.

plum44_2

It's great you are acknowledging that you need to sort your debts but its possible you may not have had your LBM (Lightbulb moment) yet.
Firstly don't consolidate! that is rarely a good idea and will surely increase your debts eventually.

From my own experience and I am single with 4 children, I cut up all my cards and stopped using credit. From then on I was 100% committed to paying off my debt. I saw it as my greatest challenge.

We are happily very frugal- no thats not a dirty word, we spend about £30 a week in the Supermarket and watch every penny. Yes it is hard but it will be so worth it. My children understand that we dont have a lot of spare money but they dont miss out.

Dont let things get any worse. Keep a spending diary and think carefully about every penny you spend and you will be amazed at how much you can pay off.
Good Luck...

backinbusiness

Here's my tip - don't consolidate. That's only moving debt, not paying it off.

Pop up an SOA and let us pick through it and see if we can point you in the right direction.

Good luck OP.

BiB

SNAP!

longforthesun

Hi always-skint.

It will get better you just need to focus on the end result.

OH and I had approx £40k debt in 2008 when we had our LBM.

It's been hard work and having to get used to doing without on things but we are almost there and you too will get there.

If you start with a SOA then we can see what figures you have and then the great folks here will be able to offer you practical advise.

One thing OH and I did agree with was to have a small treat every month, nothing expensive but he would get a bar of the chocolate he likes and i would get a small bottle of the wine i like.

Good luck.

dazla

always-skint wrote: »

I've been reading the forums and the stories of those of you who have paid vast amounts of debt off are so inspirational! but.....

How do you do it?? I really feel like I'm simply never going to get out of debt. I work, and bring home an average income but still seem to be getting nowhere. I know my debts are my own fault, I was a single parent for such a long long time and always tried to give my son the best, always tried to keep up with my friends who had no commitments, and because of this I now owe approximately £10,000 on cards . Enough is enough, I really really need to get out of debt so I can start enjoying my life.

I am well able to manage all my monthly minimum payments, and try to pay off more where I can. Problem is there is always something popping up that needs paying for. It seems to be a vicious circle , For example, at the end of this month I'll be able to overpay £200 on one of my cards but my son needs a new school uniform and the car needs it's MOT. Daily expenses seem to be never ending too.....I'm constantly having to nip to the shops for bread, milk, etc.

My partner recently moved in with me and he has no idea of the extent of my debts. Sure, he knows I have cards, but he has no idea just how much and I'm too ashamed to tell him.

I'm even considering approaching my bank for a loan to consolidate everything......I know it's not generally a good idea......but at least that way everything will be in one place, with one simple monthly payment (?)

Please please tell me it gets better and that I'll get there someday. Any tips would be appreciated.

Hi

Please don't get another loan to consolidate, thats where i started going wrong, in addition to trying to keep up with freinds who had more money than me. It is hard, I can't pretend otherwise. At the moment I feel that its going to take forever to clear my debts but they are coming down. I also find that things crop up which can knock you back a bit, e.g my washing machine broke this week and because i'm on a dmp i don;t have access to credit, so I bought a second hand one off ebay for £105. I also managed to sell my old one for £20, so not so bad. My one tip would be to try and buy good second hand stuff if you are in debt and trying to clear them. I have bought stuff i needed of ebay for much less than it would have cost me in the shop. Also, i am selling loads of stuff/junk i don't need on there too, which helps. Also, buy supermarket own brand/value ranges, there really is nothing wrong with them, you can save a fortune this way. Hope this helps x

daz

cazmanian_minx

always-skint wrote: »

How do you do it??
...
Please please tell me it gets better and that I'll get there someday. Any tips would be appreciated.

The same way you eat an elephant - one small bite at a time And after a few months of small bites, you notice there's a little bit less elephant on your plate and it all seems a tiny bit easier.

I'm not going to lie and say it's easy, because it's not - but I know that every day I take another small bite of that elephant is a day closer to freeing up my £500+ a month debt repayments to spend on myself or invest and that keeps me going through the SODDIT-I-WANT-TO-BUY-SOMETHING-EXTRAVAGANT!!!! moments.

Post your SOA, start a diary thread, join in a challenge and pick up that knife and fork - we're all here to support you

plum44_2

Some of the value brands are brilliant. I have a friend who only buys branded products. She has no money and lives on credit cards. I have been Supermarket shopping with her and was amazed at how much she spends....

bazza5070

You need to tell your OH about the debt or its going to be really difficult to be frugal, he will just think you are being tight and then you will feel like you have to carry on spending money you dont have.

If he loves you enough to move in I'm sure the debt wont be a big problem.

7 years ago we were saddled with £30,000 of debt due to daughters medical bills, eventually we went with an IVA, it was a hard slog for 6 years but we are now completely debt free.

Its really hard changing the way you live but once you see the light it really is a weight off your shoulders.

Another good tip to add to the others is to shop in the 'whoopsie' cabinet in Tescos etc. Massive savings if you get there at the right time. Last Christmas I managed to put £150 of meat into the freezer and it only cost me £22, bargain!!!!

nimbo

it can be really hard, but like people say you need to do it one small step at a time.

I do think that you should be honest with your partner, and surely sharing bills with him will be saving you money on them????? (If you'r honest with him, then he should understand why the extra cash you are saving will be going to pay off your cards....)

There are loads of really useful challenges on this forum, and people are really supportive of each other in here....

The challenges that I am finding most useful at the moment are the £10 a day challenge and the 1% challenge.

I've only signed up for £5 a day, but they are full of really good ideas. And the 1% challenge makes it that much easier to look at your debt. (For me it's £6 k that i need to find - hopefully before Christmas) and finding the odd £60 seems so much less stressful.

There are all sorts of challenges where people try to make an extra payment a week off the debt with the highest interest - and even £5 a time will make a bit of a difference.

Don't get stressed about it, and look at the little segments if it all feels overwhelming.

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nimbo

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4041235

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4016713

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4060423

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3998329

If you look at the old style board there are some awesome ideas on how to live on a budget. (Also great recipes for some great scran)...

eyeopener2

Yes, it is best to tell your oH, he will find out anyway so you may as well (they always do)

If you are managing the minimums and some months have cash spare for an overpayment - this is how i'm reading this- could you save part of it to build up and emergency fund?If you have £200 one month then save £100 and pay of £100.

That way when the inevitable boiler/car/children blow up you can use the emergency fund and still make an overpayment.
I know its easier said than done!