Mental Health 2012

mary1

Well I honestly did not no where to post this. So if I put it here I am sure someone will shuffle it around in the right place!

I have been suffering from stress and depression for years. Yes, I am sick of hiding it, why because I have lost my so called friends, social life, job and place in society. It is really difficult living with something like this. Through this illness I have lost my job which was a good one. The job centre says I am fit for work! I am filling in applications like confetti but most application forms say, how many days have you been off work for in the past year and what for. Well, at that point you no your not going to get a job. Also I cannot get training because I am highly trained already. Oh, and I do not get jobseekers allowance or any benefits because my husbands wage is a few pounds to much. Just in case you thought I was sponging off the government. Also I cannot afford prescriptions which is vital for my medication! But I am desperate for a job. This booklet is only the tip of the iceberg and I thank you for writing it, like much in our society that washes its hands of people that needs to give them a voice and help. There is so much I could write but no doubt people will criticize (you get used to the last bit).

caevans

Sounds like a referral to a mental health occupational therapist would be useful. Do you have a CPN or your GP could refer you?
An occupational therapist could do vocational rehab with you, which works on your confidence and many other things to try and get you 'ready' for work. They can help you to find work opportunities and act as a support with any new employer.
You are not alone and many many people are able to get back into work with a bit of support or even just some advice.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

What about doing some volunteering work as a stepping-stone back into paid employment?

Oh are re: prescriptions you could get a PPC they are about £10 a month.

dandelionclock30

Mind often have back to work support, is their a branch near to you that you could get in touch with?

DVardysShadow

mary1 wrote: »

This booklet is only the tip of the iceberg and I thank you for writing it, like much in our society that washes its hands of people that needs to give them a voice and help.

What booklet?

mynameistallulah

DVardysShadow wrote: »

What booklet?

I imagine the OP means her post/ her story.

marybelle01

You are making a lot of assumptions about how people will react to your story. Yes, there are some people who don't understand mental illness, but most people aren't like that. Why do you feel that you have to hide it? That's just putting more strain on yourself. You are ill. That's all. It isn't contagious and you have nothing to be ashamed about. It could happen to anyone.

There have been a lot of good suggestions already. I think a talk with the GP would be a good starting point anyway. Try your local Council for Voluntary Service - they will be able to point you in the direction of a whole load of services and support offered by the third sector. MIND is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of what is often available.

You could also ring your local Social Services/ Adult Services and ask to speak to someone in the mental health team. You probably won't be bad enough (which is really good news!) to get their support, but I would bet someone in the team would be willing to spend 15 minutes or so telling you of any contacts they have that could be useful. Yes, social workers are always busy, but not so busy that they will put the phone down on someone who needs help if they can give it.

Can you do some voluntary work yourself to help you get out and meet new people, and get some experience? There are plenty of people a lot worse off than you, and sometimes perspective helps. You can help others, and help yourself at the same time.

Lots of people with depression hold down jobs - it isn't hopeless as long as you don't think it is.


By the way folks - I think the booklet is the one on mental health and debt that's on the twitter feed to the right!

mary1

I have done many things to help myself. I have gone to my GP and done cognitive and behaviour therapy listened to presentations, started with small tasks and built myself up. I had to wait many months for help from MIND but that is just because they have such a long waiting list and they are fantastic. But I do not like to trouble people. All I want is to be able to help support my family.
I have done and still are doing voluntary work at a local charity place. Also I am waiting to here from someone who is willing to give me training when I do voluntary work for them, they are also a charity.
My so called friends did not want to no me when they found out I had a mental illness and as I do not no anyone in my area it is lonely. I do have a very loving family which has helped me tremendously. Everyday is a struggle and last time I posted on this site not many understood. It is really a hidden illness which is shunned and you are forgotten about very easily in this society.

sharpy2010

mary1 wrote: »

Well I honestly did not no where to post this. So if I put it here I am sure someone will shuffle it around in the right place!

I have been suffering from stress and depression for years. Yes, I am sick of hiding it, why because I have lost my so called friends, social life, job and place in society. It is really difficult living with something like this. Through this illness I have lost my job which was a good one. The job centre says I am fit for work! I am filling in applications like confetti but most application forms say, how many days have you been off work for in the past year and what for. Well, at that point you no your not going to get a job. Also I cannot get training because I am highly trained already. Oh, and I do not get jobseekers allowance or any benefits because my husbands wage is a few pounds to much. Just in case you thought I was sponging off the government. Also I cannot afford prescriptions which is vital for my medication! But I am desperate for a job. This booklet is only the tip of the iceberg and I thank you for writing it, like much in our society that washes its hands of people that needs to give them a voice and help. There is so much I could write but no doubt people will criticize (you get used to the last bit).

You sound like youve got a massive chip on your shoulder. You need to stop guessing what you think people will think and just get on with it.

Who cares what other people think anyway.

dandelionclock30

What about a self help group? Often the groups are facilitated by people who have the same issues.I can think of one I know where the facilitators are volunteers who have had depression and they have gone through groupwork training etc.
You could give this a try as you would be meeting other people in the same boat who wouldnt judge you.Also you could take it further and become a facilitator yourself if you fancied it.
Many people are just for themselves so I wouldnt let it bother you that your so called friends didnt want to know you.There are better people out there and atleast you know where you stand.
At the end of the day the main thing is what you think of yourself.It sounds like you are doing a lot to get back into work, all you can do is try your best and be open to suggestions.
Are you doing any exercise for yourself?, this helps a lot with stress and depression. I used to go for very long walks and rides on my bike when I was depressed and it really helped me.

marybelle01

mary1 wrote: »

.
My so called friends did not want to no me when they found out I had a mental illness and as I do not no anyone in my area it is lonely. I do have a very loving family which has helped me tremendously. Everyday is a struggle and last time I posted on this site not many understood. It is really a hidden illness which is shunned and you are forgotten about very easily in this society.

I am sorry, but are you sure that it isn't your illness speaking here and not you? It didn't take much to check your previous posts on the site, and you haven't mentioned "years of stress and depression" in any of the posts you made asking for help in the past. You mentioned finding working as a teacher stressful, and some people questioned that statement. You may not have liked the opinions expressed, and they may not have been an accurate reflection of teaching or teaching where you were. But nobody was nasty, nobody "didn't understand" because you didn't give them a chance to, and you had a lot of positive suggestions about alternative work that you could consider.

I cannot dispute that there is still a lot of misunderstanding about mental illness, but it is actually a bit insulting to lump everyone in to one bundle and say that we don't understand and we don't care. I personally have friends who have varying degrees of mental illness, and until last year had a very close friend who had severe mental problems, to the degree that she attempted, and was eventually successful, to kill herself. It is often a feature of mental illness that people with these problems push others away, and blame them for "not understanding". I know from personal experience that it can be very hard to have friends that have mental illnesses, and yes, it can be so hard that people sometimes walk away. But they are not walking away because they don't understand, or don't care - often it is because they can't / don't know how to cope with the moods, the anger and the blame that often comes in their direction, often for no logical or discernable reason. They feel that they have become "the enemy" and have a need to protect their own wellbeing. It doesn't mean they are bad people, it means that they are human. You say yourself that you have hidden your condition - how can you expect them to understand and to support you if you hide it?

I don't doubt that you will feel I am having a go at you, but I am not. I don't agree with the previous poster that you have a chip on your shoulder. You are just ill. But people are not all against you, and in fact I think you will find that very few people are against you. Yes, some people will find it harder to cope with than others, especially if they don't know or understand that you have an illness in the first place. But if you don't give them a chance then you also won't find out that people can be remarkably resilient and supportive too.

Your illness may well have caused you to lose friends, social life and job - but you didn't have to let it do that. Understanding works both ways. The world didn't make you ill and it doesn't condemn you for being ill - but if that is the perspective you live with, then it will become self-fulfilling.