How to broach subject of debt with in-laws?

Emthemist · 11 July 2012 at 2:28PM

My mother and father-in-law are in trouble (we think). They have made a series of bad decisions regarding get-rich-quick schemes and properties abroad. Needless to say none of it worked.

In order to pay for this they remortgaged their house, and now one of their parent's houses. We think they have made attempts to deal with it, but we don't know how successfully. We are really frightened about their situation but they will not talk to us. They have now been on holiday and have started to insist on paying for things, which we think means they are back in complete denial.

Oh, and now they are both suffering with depression.

I feel I have enough knowledge to at least start them on the right road, if I can get them to open up. Please can anyone help me with how to approach it?

With much hope,

Emthemist

National_Debtline · 11 July 2012 at 2:51PM

Hello there.

Sorry to learn about the situation. It's often very difficult to get family members to open up about their debts, it's often due to embarassment or pride. You may find that they might be able to seek help from an independent source such as the Citizens' Advice Bureau or one of the debt advice charities - such as ourselves. All advice agencies should be able to advise third-parties such as yourself; you could then convey the infromation on to your in-laws. Each advice agency also has a world of useful information that can be downloaded from their websites.

Perhaps a useful place to start could be to try and get them to complete a comprehensive financial statement, this will often quickly demonstrate whether or not there are any potential issues. It is often the case that the sooner a situation is identified the easier it will be to get straighted out.

This situation is quite common, we do hope that you're able to help them move things forward.

Best wishes,

National Debtline.

theoretica · 11 July 2012 at 7:18PM

Are they online? You could start enthusing about how helpful you find this website or mentioning wonderful tips you have picked up and hope they come here themselves.