Preparedness for when

GreyQueen

pineapple wrote: »

Just taking on board the post on positive thinking. The problem is when you are retired (like me), something you would barely notice when working, can take on massive proportions. It was really noticeable when I managed a sheltered housing scheme. The tenants didn't even have to bother about gardening or home maintenance. Consequently they bothered about each other's business. It was a veritable kingdom of twitching nets and complaints about this that and t'other. In fact when going about my business on the scheme, I used to crawl below the window of a particular flat so that the occupant didn't spot me.
Anyhow my grouse of today is we are getting deluged again in my part of Cumbria. Had to drive up hill and down dale to avoid floods coming back from Sedbergh. B* Cumbria. Turning into Victor Meldrew as I speak..:mad:

Been thinking of people in the rainy parts of the country - we've had some drizzle after about 6 bone dry days, hardly seems possible all that rain is falling on the hills.

Villages can be hard work for incomers because they don't see the extended kinship webs, or the webs of non-kin but lifelong ties which lace the village together. There's often a lot of mates' rates, inter-family obligations (and occasionally internecine warfare, although the British are less effective at this than the Sicilians). My aunt needs gardening done, she hires her nephew's son, whose missus does for my Nan, who lives surrounded by a network of inlaws and outlaws, everybody knowing everyone. And all about their parents, grandparents and probably great grandparents and who let whose goat eat who's apple tree back in the 19th century................... When someone having a row says to another man You ent no good and I knew yer dad an' he wernt no good neither they know whereof they speak.:rotfl:

Apart from those who come from somewhere mysterious called Away, as in She's come from Away.......... with a bit of tooth-sucking and some raised eyebrows. People from Lunnon Town are regarded as particularly exotic and probably a bit dodgy. The denizens of Away may be allowed naturalised status if very active in the community and demonstrably good eggs, after about 30 years, usually. So long as they don't get above themselves and complain about muck-spreading, noisy poultry or make demands for new-fangled inventions like electric streetlighting, paved roads or other exotica.

In the past few weeks, my parents hired the services of an electrician, not one they'd used before. Dad pegged him as indigenous to the area by his accent and some chit-chat revealed he used to drink in the same pub as Dad, plays bowls with someone we're related to and his missus and my Dad were at school together, and he knows some of Dad's cousins (not hard, there's about 100 of them). Once the proper bona fides were established, commerce could take place. With the understanding that it's a cash transaction but because we're in the loop, it'll have to be a good job. My Dad always likes to know at least two generations of each tradesman's family and we've achieved this with heating engineers, appliance repairers and now sparkies.

My city is ridiculous in terms of people knowing people knowing people, you'd sometimes think there were under a thousand of us living here, the crazy connections and interconnections which go on. I've given up being surprised by it, I just assume that the various parts of my life will intersect eventually like venn diagrams, and try not to step on too many toes as I wander around.

One of my least-favourite things is meeting someone I've never met before who says Oh! You're GQ, I've heard of you!

Which will get them a narrow look and a rapid calculation of who we know in common and what that person could possibly have told them which is about to bite me on the b*m.:rotfl:

RAS

Hmm........ Know what you mean GQ.

I still occasionally get introduced as XXX's grand-daughter. He died over half a century ago, so the there are fewer who know him now.

And I recall the vicar being pooh-poohed because he had "only been here 10 years".

Karmacat

Wow. I don't have that. Total disconnection (even as a child) from where my ancestors lived, thats why I love genealogy.

fuddle

Karmacat wrote: »

Believe it or not, thriftwizard, my apoca-novel set in the near future has two small towns/villages exactly like this - one just north of Bournemouth (Wimborne Minster, which I visited on holibob) and Horsted Keynes (visited on days out) - I love plotting the day to day preps that the villagers make, and I've only reluctantly moved on recently to the actual plot The Horsted Keynes bit, though, starts with a young couple discovering the moneysavingexpert main site and forum - and within a year, they've set up a P2P network in the village to free up money for local investment in trees and oil presses and whatnot :T

Dearest Karmacat would you give me a nod if ever you would like others to read your apoca-novel? The reason being I have spent that last 2 years of my life living in Wimborne and as you will probably appreciate, I have a very soft spot for it. I live far, far (brrrrrrr!) away now but I would love to read about folk prepping in such a place.

GreyQueen

Karmacat wrote: »

Wow. I don't have that. Total disconnection (even as a child) from where my ancestors lived, thats why I love genealogy.

I used to hate the village when I was younger as you never seemed to have your own identity, you're always so-and-so's grand-daughter/ daughter/ neice/ cousin etc.

Now that I'm older, I quite like the clannishness, as long as I don't have to live there and can just visit. The two youngest generations of the family are in towns and even cities now, no need for ag labs like us in the modern mechanised farming world. You need the thick end of a third of a million squid to afford an ex-farm labourer's cottage where we hail from - damned expensive being a peasant these days.

Mind you, there must be a genetic propensity to scrabble around in the soil, even my too-cool-for-school first cousin has taken up gardening in middle age, apparently. This is news of considerable astonishment to the rest of the family, given cousin is more accustomed to heavy metal than heavy soil. Blood will out, my dears, blood will out; hang up the keys to the motorbike and get thee down to the garden centre......

moneyistooshorttomention

Also coming to understand what you mean GQ.

The particular "high calibre" person I spoke of just now that was commenting on feeling upset at a remark that showed she hadn't quite been accepted yet has been here 20 years!

I cant help thinking it must be easier in some parts of the country - but in this part of Britain I can see quite visible obstacles to full integration any time I look at a local newspaper. Up come the mini-articles about community activities and...straight off.....most incomers cant understand them, as they aren't in English. Its possible to make out that some are to do with chapels or Welsh schools, but there are a noticeable number that look as if they must be about more "general" activities, but most of us cant tell if they are or no, so don't know how to go to them if we want to (or if we would want to).:( Hence part of why there is very much two social circles in various places (certainly where I am). Many locals can go to either. Most of us can only attend the English-speaking ones in effect (as otherwise much of the conversation going on around us will go straight over our heads). Not a problem - as there is a pretty reasonable Incomer (plus any locals that care to attend) social life.

A common comment round here though is "Be careful what you say to who - as you don't know who knows who and they might be a relative of theirs". I've certainly noticed 1 or 2 people having opinions of people they don't know actually (???).

I'm not keen on the "who you know" method of getting workmen personally - as I want to employ people on merit/reliability/etc and would wonder whether being someone's relative/mate/etc would constitute a guarantee of said merit/reliability/etc. So I stick to my standard way of assessing as best possible and any time I find someone suitable for something work on the basis of copious drinks and prompt payment to give them an incentive to come back again if needed.:rotfl:. Last person employed gave VERY good service - and got given a tip that raised their eyebrows with pleasure (don't think I'll have any problem if I need them again:rotfl:).

Nearby more Welcoming Place has seen some incomers "up to their eyes" in organising half of whats going on there in doublequick time. Another place nearby is the exact opposite as far as I can make out.

So - yep...very variable.

On the "clannishness" front - that one I struggle with. My parents are pretty like each other now (many years together later). My brother is one person and not that similar to them and I'm a very very different person indeed to my brother and don't even expect most people to know that I have a brother iyswim (and I'm sure vice-versa is so too). We just automatically regard ourselves as two separate people and neither of us would dream of taking account of each others lives or opinions. To me - its a learning experience watching people regarding themselves as "part of a family" iyswim. I'm used to some people regarding themselves as "part of a couple" - but not a family.

fuddle

Personally, having moved around a lot, I feel that being accepted as an incomer is something that can be influenced with my own outlook.

Being a working class Northerner settling in a predominately middle class area should have been difficult for my family. It wasn't at all but we were very positive about the experience.

That doesn't mean that I didn't become frustrated over my observations etc as I did but I didn't let that effect my thinking, it never swayed my confidence and I never felt like I wasn't welcomed. I lived amongst people from all sorts of backgrounds. I spoke in my mother tongue and wore my dom carers uniform, parked my green 51 plate micra amongst some very high calibre cars. I never once felt insignificant. I always felt liked.

So I put it that feeling like you're accepted in communities as a newcomer is more to do with your own outlook than anyone else's.

Do we really have to get acceptance from others to feel like we belong?

GreyQueen

I can see where you're coming from, MTSTM, but you presumably chose to move to Wales already knowing that you'd be encountering another language and that there would possibly be difficulties attendant on that? You pays your money and you takes your choice.

I know people whose families have lived in Wales for 100+ years but who were left feeling linguistically uncomfortable as monoglot English speakers who were unwilling (or unable) to learn Welsh. They chose to leave Wales for England purely for that reason. One of my all-time favourite things is English spoken with a Welsh accent, it's close to as lovely as English with a French accent in my book.

I wouldn't move to Wales although I have holidayed happily there (soggily, but happily) on several occasions, because it's not my native territory and I have no connections there, because it's rainier than I like it, and I'm accustomed to more gently-rolling landscapes. Hell, I can get vertigo standing up in a hurry, never mind mountains - and I have scrambled up most of the Welsh ones.

I would stay in southern England as I like it here and am a saesnes down to the bone.

Karmacat

EDITED POST!!!

fuddle wrote: »

Dearest Karmacat would you give me a nod if ever you would like others to read your apoca-novel? The reason being I have spent that last 2 years of my life living in Wimborne and as you will probably appreciate, I have a very soft spot for it. I live far, far (brrrrrrr!) away now but I would love to read about folk prepping in such a place.

Absolutely! Thank you Fuddle! I liked it when I was there as a tourist, and it fits so well into the geography of what I'm going for.

Last year when I was really ill, I couldn't do plot or anything, but I still liked writing, I ended up, believe it or not, writing a 7,000 word confidential report[STRIKE] commissioned by Wimborne parish council [/STRIKE]*** about how they could put in place barely noticeable improvements in community self reliance. That document acts as their road map, and when all h*ll breaks loose on the national scene, Wimborne has a high survival rate compared to other communities :j


*** they didn't commission me :o:o I was too ill to plot, and I wanted to write *something* and it just came out as a report. Sorry!

maryb

Fuddle, have I missed something? Have you relocated back North?