Preparedness for when

GreyQueen

I'm glad that MIL is showing some improvements, nuatha, and long may that continue.

Sometimes, it helps to think laterally. I knew of a woman who was being treated for cancer at the same time and hospital as my Mum. She and her hubs found it cheaper and less exhausting to stay in a budget hotel in the same city as the hospital, rather than face a long daily commute in for treatment. The costs stacked up, as well as the time and energy saved.

One of my rellies was in hospital, her hubs was holding the fort, the family responsibilites (very young children) and working. He ran his car off the road one night during this period, coming back from visiting. Mercifully only onto a soft verge and no injury, but it was sheer exhaustion.

jk0, you've found out about the town, then, we've had a play with that before, someone typed it in genuinely and found that it's to be expurgated. :rotfl:

nuatha

GreyQueen wrote: »

I'm glad that MIL is showing some improvements, nuatha, and long may that continue.

Thank you

Sometimes, it helps to think laterally. I knew of a woman who was being treated for cancer at the same time and hospital as my Mum. She and her hubs found it cheaper and less exhausting to stay in a budget hotel in the same city as the hospital, rather than face a long daily commute in for treatment. The costs stacked up, as well as the time and energy saved.

Thankfully none of us are a huge distance from the hospital, its mainly the parking charges that are the issue. We could allocate a driver and just do drop off/pick up the visitor but that ties another body up. As it is most of the visiting is done by three of us who are all attempting to keep job/businesses running.

One of my rellies was in hospital, her hubs was holding the fort, the family responsibilites (very young children) and working. He ran his car off the road one night during this period, coming back from visiting. Mercifully only onto a soft verge and no injury, but it was sheer exhaustion.

I'm pleased your rellie had a lucky escape/warning. It is tempting to believe you're superhuman and will manage it all (Nuatha, I'm talking at you ) but the reality is we aren't, and as you know with ME the margin between doing and being flat on your back and incapable is narrow. We're now insisting that each of us has a full day off and attempting to ensure what we're doing is sustainable.

GreyQueen

I think the toll which is taken on the relatives of the hospitalised person is often underestimated. As well as the fear and worry for the person concerned, there is all the travelling and extra time and expense. Regular life doesn't grind to a halt because someone's in hospital, unfortunately.

Back when Mum was taken into hospital with no warning other than a brief phone call, Dad was working 7-5, coming home, cooking, eating, driving an hour to visit her, driving an hour back, going to bed and doing it all again.They were in their early forties at the time, but Mum could see him getting exhausted and worn to a frazzle and had to put her foot down that he wasn't to visit every evening, it was just too much. I was at the opposite end of the country and couldn't help out, too.:(

Witless

Last time I was hospitalised I told my family not to visit during the week for a variety of reasons - work/time, distance/cost and a purely selfish one: feeling as cr*p as I did there was no way I wanted nonsensical inanities to 'cheer me up' twice a day. By the time the Saturday came it was more practical for visits - for both sides of the equation.

Afterwards we decided that had been the correct course of action; each visit cost a minimum of £12-14 for fuel & parking or public transport not to mention lost earnings. (Not sure the rest of the family would accept the same rationale though)

moneyistooshorttomention

nuatha wrote: »

It used to be the case that the government could reassess spending that had occurred up to 7 years prior to present, with the intent of assessing whether monies had been spent in order to avoid liability for care costs. Such assessments were measured against current criteria and medical position rather than those which applied at the time of the spend. I know of one case where a fit 66 year old bought an expensive sports car, which was deemed to be avoidance three years later after they had a stroke as it wasn't suitable transportation for someone in a wheelchair.
.

That is scandalous re that sports car owner situation. You don't plan on the basis you "might" have an illness and the Government then "might" decide to grab money off you that you have already spent (ie in total ignorance that that illness was going to happen - "couldn't have reasonably foreseen" it).

When you say "It used to be the case......." does that mean = "It was the case in the past - but that has been put right now"? I'm rather interpreting that phrase as meaning "Yes....they can and did get up to that sort of thing in those circumstances BUT someone or other fought a successful court case about it and the Government had to change its policy and they cant do it anymore". Is that a correct interpretation?

Karmacat

Nuatha, I'm glad your MiL is improving, but like you, I'd no idea that the costs could be so high I hope things continue to go as well as they can.

nuatha

Witless wrote: »

Last time I was hospitalised I told my family not to visit during the week for a variety of reasons - work/time, distance/cost and a purely selfish one: feeling as cr*p as I did there was no way I wanted nonsensical inanities to 'cheer me up' twice a day. By the time the Saturday came it was more practical for visits - for both sides of the equation.

Afterwards we decided that had been the correct course of action; each visit cost a minimum of £12-14 for fuel & parking or public transport not to mention lost earnings. (Not sure the rest of the family would accept the same rationale though)

In this case, MiL needs the stimulation, the nursing care is excellent, but it doesn't provide much in the way of mental stimulation or encouragement.
When I was in hospital with gangrenous peritonitis I have almost no memory of visitors for the first 4 or 5 days. When Herself was in hospital I was there each visiting time and informed clients that there may be a delay in work being delivered.

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

That is scandalous re that sports car owner situation. You don't plan on the basis you "might" have an illness and the Government then "might" decide to grab money off you that you have already spent (ie in total ignorance that that illness was going to happen - "couldn't have reasonably foreseen" it).

When you say "It used to be the case......." does that mean = "It was the case in the past - but that has been put right now"? I'm rather interpreting that phrase as meaning "Yes....they can and did get up to that sort of thing in those circumstances BUT someone or other fought a successful court case about it and the Government had to change its policy and they cant do it anymore". Is that a correct interpretation?

As people started planning much further ahead and transferring assets early to try to avoid the "7 year trap" there was a reconsideration of the rules, at one point it was proposed to look to 12 years. Instead TPTB decided on 6 months - which worked remarkably well as a revenue raiser. No successful court cases, simply a change in the rules in order to raise far more revenue. In general people stopped transferring assets, thinking they'd have plenty of warning when it was only 6 months.
The regulations could easily be rewritten and the timings changed whenever it suits a government department - as far as I understand it, the same law backed both variations on regulations and regulations are merely written and implemented by government departments without needing parliamentary oversight.
My source was a senior social worker, whose client had a stroke and was deemed to be foolish for buying a sports car (social worker on client's side)

Karmacat wrote: »

Nuatha, I'm glad your MiL is improving, but like you, I'd no idea that the costs could be so high I hope things continue to go as well as they can.

Thank you

thriftwizard

When my mother was whisked into hospital just about a year ago with cardiac arrhythmia, I had to drop everything to go & look after my stepfather. Mum was his main, and that stage only, carer; he had dementia, was slowly dying of asbestosis and hadn't been out of hospital very long himself. Yet the only provision the NHS could make for him at short notice was a visit from the district nurse once a day. Anything else required visits, assessments, multiple reports etc. & couldn't be put into place in under two weeks.

By that time, of course, she was back out of hospital with a brand new pacemaker. But expected to step straight back into the caregiving role... luckily, where they live, there are private onsite carers and an option to have meals sent over from the communal dining room, which was a lifesaver, quite literally, so I was able to go home again. In the meantime, the staff at the Emporium I trade at had kindly kept my stall reasonably tidy, but my trading figures took a bit of a bashing as I wasn't there to restock & reorganise. However, we all survived - but plenty don't have these options open to them.

My youngest brother works with the SS to help "re-enable" older patients being released from hospital. They are always hugely pleased & relieved when there are families living relatively locally & able to be involved, because the services that are supposed to "cover" these situations are, in reality, stretched to breaking point & sometimes beyond. All it takes is one flat tyre for a carer, & no-one else available, and several old & vulnerable people will go without a visit, a meal and a trip to the loo that evening. Some are lucky enough to have helpful neighbours; many aren't, don't even know their neighbours' names, as they're all out working all day, every day.

Please bear this in mind if you have elderly friends & relatives...

jk0

Witless wrote: »

feeling as cr*p as I did there was no way I wanted nonsensical inanities to 'cheer me up' twice a day.

Ha ha. Me too!

I found it more fun chatting to my fellow patients and having a laugh with their relatives, than I ever would with my own.

mardatha

Our local hosp is free parking but its a fair bit away - I'm another one who wouldn't need family to visit every single night because I'd be worrying so much about them that I wouldn't get any rest lol