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dilemma

Legacy_user
Legacy_user Posts: 0 Newbie
edited 2 July 2012 at 11:03PM in Loans
:(:( :eek: I am in a dilemma, my daughter has got into debt and going on for some years, but gradually shes asked me for help in short notice situations, and now got me into debt. ive been looking on martins money tips etc, trying to work out what to do, who to turn to. i now am stuck paying £2,000 in 4 separate debts to payday loans shes got in my name, and a well overdue large mobile phone bill i am now paying installments for to pay it off, over the next 12 months. i hadnt realised how these have crept up on me as she says she can pay me back, but when she has, its coming from more borrowing, its now got to the point its me paying them without her being able to pay me back. im so worried and annoyed.so now, im looking at the credit card 0% interest cards over 20 months etc to transfer my accounts to , or just bring down my overdraft charges to help, actually, i dont know what the .... i am doing and albeit i thought i was not stupid enough to ever get into something like this, its happened and i know its just to help my daughter, but she cant sort it even though shes working, shes so in debt and its now got to stop. in total she owes not just me, but £24,000 ontop and thats been since she was 18, shes nearly 31 now, and shes just so low, she seems to get into a spiral of it all. please can someone advise what i can do?

Comments

  • Voyager2002
    Voyager2002 Posts: 15,873 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Get her to visit this board, and in particular to get to know the DFW (Debt Free Wannabe) section. She needs to get her spending under control, and that is one place where she can receive advice and support in order to do so.
  • Apples2
    Apples2 Posts: 6,442 Forumite
    She needs to go bankrupt. You need up go to the debt free wannabe board.

    24k is far too much if she isn't a high earner.
    Your 2k is entirely manageable with the correct advice.
  • bargainbetty
    bargainbetty Posts: 3,455 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Stop lending her money. If she can make any payments towards the debt in your name, then great, but don't give her another damn penny.

    Get her on here, look a the DFW boards, and as Apples says, banckruptcy might be her best option. Whatever happens, she needs to learn how to budget and live within her means, not treating you as a free bank.

    You will do her more good in the long run by not bailing her out anymore.

    I wish you both luck x
    Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps....
    LB moment - March 2006. DFD - 1 June 2012!!! DEBT FREE!



    May grocery challenge £45.61/£120
  • bengal-stripe
    bengal-stripe Posts: 3,353 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    ..... i now am stuck paying £2,000 in 4 separate debts to payday loans shes got in my name, and a well overdue large mobile phone bill...
    .....im looking at the credit card 0% interest cards over 20 months etc to transfer my accounts to...

    Although the money might have been for your daughter, as far as any lender is concerned, it is your debt. With payday loans to your name, there is virtually no chance to get a CC at a 0% interest. Don't damage your credit rating even more by applying for one (or several) of these cards.

    As people have said, go to the 'Debtfree Wannabe' board.
  • in total she owes not just me, but £24,000 ontop and thats been since she was 18, shes nearly 31 now, and shes just so low, she seems to get into a spiral of it all. please can someone advise what i can do?

    As the guys/gals have mentioned above, if you're always trying to help bail her out, you're teaching her nothing, and will get absolutely nowhere - it's gone on for 13 years, and will go on for 30 more if you don't put your foot down. It's also now clearly affecting your own situation, so time to nip it in the bud!

    So, stop lending her your own money, and concentrate on getting your own financial affairs back on track while things aren't too bad. As for your daughter, point her in the direction of CAB or CCCS so she can get the ball rolling for herself.

    By all means offer to help, but as moral support only. You have to be cruel to be kind, for both your sakes.
    “In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing at all.” - Roosevelt
  • DCFC79
    DCFC79 Posts: 40,611 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Apples2 wrote: »
    She needs to go bankrupt. You need up go to the debt free wannabe board.

    24k is far too much if she isn't a high earner.
    Your 2k is entirely manageable with the correct advice.

    OP the advice here ^^ is what i was thinking when i read your post this morning, your debt is manageable but your daughters isnt unless she wins the lottery. It wont help either of you if you keep on lending her money.
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