Struggling to stop spending...

pttl80

Hi all,

Dont really know were to start with my current situation but here goes

For years ive been hopeless with money and saving etc, things got really bad when my partner lost his job about 3 years ago, instead of tightening my belt I would find other ways to buy the things I wanted and pay bills...with credit/store cards and catalogues.
Thinking back I think it has a lot to do with keeping up appearances and wanting people to think i'm "doing well" I kept my debt from my partner and parents until one day when I just couldn't cope anymore and I broke down, although they were disappointed in me we all came up with a plan and I would have to work my butt off and give them money to put away monthly to pay it off, I had nothing for months but I learnt to change the way I spent and shop around for things and utilise discount codes and sales etc.
Then one day my parents came into a bit of money and gave me some to pay off my debts which I did, this drastically freed up some of my money and thankfully shocked me into never getting a credit card/catalogue etc again, 2 of the debts which weren't paid off I pay off a chunk each month and by the end of the year I'll be debt free :j however....
Think i'm lucky ey? well yes I am incredibly lucky and I owe it to my parents to keep myself sorted once and for all.... however, the more spare money I have each month now gets wasted... i am now addicted to discount codes and sales.. every email I get from stores with a discount code or free postage I HAVE to buy something/anything just so i get the buzz in my stomach that Ive got something for nothing, i am now spending more than what I have spare and have got into the trap of payday loans to get me through the month!
Can anyone help me or give me some encouragement to stop this?
My aim is to save up my spare cash to buy a newer car (no loan no finance) as mine is on its last legs and to have some money available for emergencies AND to never get a payday loan again

Thank you x

Rav3n

You'll soon regret spending all that money once you're back in debt again. You've done so well by the sounds of it, don't fall back into the trap again.

Basically the rule of thumb is, when you get one of these discount codes or see something you want ask yourself "Do I need this? Can I afford this? What would happen if I didn't buy this?".

HappyMJ

A payday loan for a genuine emergency is fine. However, a payday loan to take advantage of a £10 off discount voucher is false economy. Add the cost of the interest onto the product and ask yourself is it now worth it. You would be better off paying full price by just waiting a few weeks to be paid.

Sambucus_Nigra

Change your email address? If that's the trigger you could put everything with 'sale' in it straight into the trash can

flippin36

Bargain shopping made things worse for me as it felt so acceptable and guilt free. I don't do shopping at all now. I have enough clothes to last me through my debt repayments, I have sold a lot on ebay and the rest is for me to shop from my own wardrobe. I intend to wear my clothes until they wear out!

I stay away from shops for as long as I can. I don't even do grocery shopping where they sell clothes. If I need things for the kids I write a list and try and get everything from one shop. I only buy whats on my list as though I am buying food. Its a functional part of my day rather than a leisure activity. I don't do sales anymore. I don't look at the grabbit board unless I have a kids birthday coming up and need a good deal.

If you struggle to go completely cold turkey you could give yourself a small cash allowance (say £20) to blow every month on anything you feel like without the guilt. But when its gone its gone. This depends on how much self control you have.

Or... how about shopping from your wardrobe and paying yourself for your own clothes. Bear with me. If you have lots and lots of clothes. Sort them out and put some away. When you get the urge to buy something nice..look through your put away clothes and if you find yourself thinking "actually I've forgotten how nice this top is, I'll wear this today" buy it off yourself by putting a few quid into a sealed pot. When you have a fair amount in the pot you could open it and treat yourself to something new. You will get a bigger buzz knowing you have waited and saved for it, and I guess your new items will be more of a considered purchase because of how hard you saved for them.

Just some ideas. Good luck and stay away from those pay day loans, we read some awful stories on here.....

MummyDrusilla

Unsubscribe from those emails, delete all the old ones in your inbox and then empty the trash folder. Remove all temptation. Every time you receive one, don't open it and send it straight to junk.

Or do like Sambucas says and change your email address.

quantic

Divide your money up a bit better. This is how I do it, I have separate accounts for the following.

1) Spends
2) Petrol and Food
3) Savings

I pay all of my bills the day after payday, then move a set amount into Savings and into Petrol/food. Whatever is left in Spends at this point is all I can spend. Otherwise I tend to find that I think to myself "I can buy that I've got £400 left" which of course is not true, I've got £200 I need for food and £100 for petrol, leaving me with £100 left.

I also try not to buy any items I don't need (none bills/food/petrol) until at least the 15th of the month, otherwise I tend to find its a week into being paid and I'm completely broke.

ragstobasics

Do the practical things people advise above, but please confide in your partner and be honest. You need support if you want to beat this and it's better to start early.

You may not want to hear it, but the payday loan route is not only dangerous for your finances, but also for your relationship.

amyloofoo

flippin36 wrote: »

Or... how about shopping from your wardrobe and paying yourself for your own clothes. Bear with me. If you have lots and lots of clothes. Sort them out and put some away. When you get the urge to buy something nice..look through your put away clothes and if you find yourself thinking "actually I've forgotten how nice this top is, I'll wear this today" buy it off yourself by putting a few quid into a sealed pot. When you have a fair amount in the pot you could open it and treat yourself to something new. You will get a bigger buzz knowing you have waited and saved for it, and I guess your new items will be more of a considered purchase because of how hard you saved for them.

Loooove this idea, I'm another compulsive spender when it comes to clothes so I think I might start doing this - I find it amazing when I rediscover clothes I'd totally forgot buying!

OP, I know it's hard but I agree with the poster above who said you should talk to your partner about these debts. I know they may be disappointed initially, but it's a lot better than it will be if they 'accidentally' find out - and given that you now owe money to PDLs it's quite likely that they will find out as these organisations are notorious for bombarding those who fall behind with letters, emails, calls, texts, etc.

Hope you get this sorted and well done for taking charge. Some of the suggestions above are really good and it's positive that you're now starting to recognise your 'triggers' for overspending.