Feeling sick, ashamed and embarrassed.

bexiboo92

I'm incredibly fortunate to even have this option....have just phoned my Mum to ask for a loan, to help pay off some of the big debts. She doesn't know the details and nor do I wish to disclose the horrid details to her.

She's said she'll talk to my dad and get back to me.

Feel so ashamed and embarrassed for even having to ask :(

Barbeduk

Bexiboo, you've done the right thing and feeling ashamed and embarrassed means that hopefully once you've repaid that debt, you'll never do it again.

I'd do a SOA so you can try and work out where your money is going and whether you can make any cut backs. There's a link here somewhere. Then it's up to you whether you want to post it on here for other people's mainly helpful advice!

Once you know what's caused the debt you'll be in a much better place to sort it out once and for all.

eyeopener2

Is this in addition to the money shes already given you? If so i think shes probably guessed your in dire straits.

Why not just tell her the truth, get it out in the open. You will feel so much better, and you and your family can work together to sort this out.

bexiboo92

Barbeduk wrote: »

Bexiboo, you've done the right thing and feeling ashamed and embarrassed means that hopefully once you've repaid that debt, you'll never do it again.

I'd do a SOA so you can try and work out where your money is going and whether you can make any cut backs. There's a link here somewhere. Then it's up to you whether you want to post it on here for other people's mainly helpful advice!

Once you know what's caused the debt you'll be in a much better place to sort it out once and for all.

Thanks. Really really hate asking. I know what caused the debt; a decrease in income, taking out too many loans and snowballing them. And am trying to save money by things like not buying food or drink whilst at work.

Barbeduk

I've saved a fortune this year by always having a packed lunch. It's amazing how all the little cut backs all mount up over time. I do the bulk of my shopping at Aldi/lidl too, no temptation there!

bexiboo92

Barbeduk wrote: »

I've saved a fortune this year by always having a packed lunch. It's amazing how all the little cut backs all mount up over time. I do the bulk of my shopping at Aldi/lidl too, no temptation there!

We do the same. Did a massive shop the other day to ensure we had enough for lunches for a couple of weeks

sickasachip13

Hi,

Don't stress. Speaking as a parent, it's what I would want to do (if I could) for my kid if necessary. I would say you'd be better explaining what it's for - she might be imagining all sorts of horrors!

SAAC

Growurown

bexiboo92 wrote: »

I'm incredibly fortunate to even have this option....have just phoned my Mum to ask for a loan, to help pay off some of the big debts. She doesn't know the details and nor do I wish to disclose the horrid details to her.

She's said she'll talk to my dad and get back to me.

Feel so ashamed and embarrassed for even having to ask :(

Been there too bexiboo. Not an option I wanted to do either but it is in the past now and all forgotten. You will get through this and I agree with SAAC that as a parent of adult children now I would want to know and help out if I could.

bexiboo92

sickasachip13 wrote: »

Hi,

Don't stress. Speaking as a parent, it's what I would want to do (if I could) for my kid if necessary. I would say you'd be better explaining what it's for - she might be imagining all sorts of horrors!

SAAC

I think she's aware of my debt problems without me actually telling her...I did say to her we owe Eon money from our old flat, Orange and we took out a loan which we're struggled to pay off.

Just feel like a failure if I was to admit the whole thing.

bexiboo92

Growurown wrote: »

Been there too bexiboo. Not an option I wanted to do either but it is in the past now and all forgotten. You will get through this and I agree with SAAC that as a parent of adult children now I would want to know and help out if I could.

I just feel like a failure. Blurgh.

sickasachip13

Hey, you're not a failure, you're in debt. Different things honey. It's not like you've committed some heinous crime, you've just made a few bad financial decisions - that's life.

SAAC