Dating while in debt?

Squirrel29

I have been single for a number of years, mainly through choice as working so hard to keep roof over my head and lack of confidence. Now I feel ready to meet someone. No one I currently know fits the bill so thought of venturing into murky world of online dating.

I feel such a fraud though by being insolvent... on DMP (£16k down from £20k in 16 months) with a CCJ to my name. How the hell do you broach this with a new partner. Personally I went out with a guy who confessed to being bankrupt a few dates in, but it changed nothing as I liked him. :A. I guess some people may be more judgemental.

Also I'm on a tight budget which doesn't lend itself to oodles of fun!

Just wondered about other DFWs' experiences?

PM1CAS

Hi,
I'm about 5k in debt, single parent to two children and divorced. I dated someone briefly via the murky world of online dating. He was sooo incredibly tight, even though he was minted, that it was easy not to go out too much. Ŵe dated for six months but I didn't feel the need to explain myself or my finances to him. I think it would have been difficult if he were more outgoing but he really hated to spend anything and being on 46k a year, his main outgoing was his mortgage and 200 a month for his son so he was banking at least 1250 a month for savings!!!!
I've since decided I like being on my own and have got my head down to pay off my debts. There are lots of good people doing online dating but just be careful.

mildredalien

I met my current partner through internet dating - we were both in debt when we met, he had already had his LBM and was nearing the end of his journey, I was just starting! We were both pretty honest with each other about the debt (although obviously a gradual process, we didn't bring bank statements to our first date or anything )

If someone is judgemental about your debt, they probably aren't worth pursuing a relationship with so actually telling them about your debt might be a good test!

Squirrel29

mildredalien wrote: »

We were both pretty honest with each other about the debt (although obviously a gradual process, we didn't bring bank statements to our first date or anything )

Isn't this dating etiquette then?!! :rotfl: it's been a long time!:)

mildredalien

Hahaha well not for us anyway Although the good thing about internet dating is that you can talk online or over text/phone for a while before you meet up in person, so you could put some feelers out about attitudes to money and stuff...

guesswho2000

To be honest, is it relevant? When you first meet someone, why would they need to know your financial background?

Imho you should go with the flow, then only raise the subject if it's an issue, such as if you end up moving in together or whatnot

amyloofoo

Debts and finances surely wouldn't be coming up as an issue until you'd been on a few dates and it was getting a little more serious anyway? I'd hope that by then you'd know how they're likely to feel about you being in debt. You're also working hard to clear your debts, so it's not as though you're burying your head in the sand and would be a liability to any future partner's finances.

When I met my OH I was a student so I think he expected me to be useless with money anyway lol. Just have fun and don't worry about explaining your situation until things get a little more serious

Good luck on your dates, hope you meet someone really special (and understanding) :beer:

Tommymax81

I don't think that you need to disclose your debts to someone that you are dating until you decide to enter into a committed relationship. Even then, someone who likes you won't be put off, especially as you have a plan in place and have already taken action to sort out your debts.

Lets be honest, how many of us have NO debt whatsoever?? Not many I bet!!

Good luck!!