Punished for bereavement

gringofyx

Hi Everyone

This has been bugging for nearly a year now, I was going to let the whole thing drop but I find myself thinking about it daily.

Last year in about July time my grandfather passed away, it was cancer, and he was being treated at home by MacMillan nurses (who are awesome by the way).

On the morning of the day of his death my mum texted me and said that they think today might be the day - it was a little last minute and I was a little emotional so I got my wife to phone my boss at 9am... typically I start at 8am but my boss doesn't start until 9am so it would have been awkward for me to call from the house of my dieing grandfather (there's a reason I've added this detail).

I had the chance to say my goodbyes, quite awful to see what cancer can do

The following day I returned to work, I'm a workaholic and I also didn't want my boss to think I was taking the p*ss because they don't like it when people take time off at short notice.

At about 10am I was quietly working away at my desk when my boss asked if I had a few minutes to spare, sure I did. I noticed a few minutes earlier he'd printed something off and was clutching it under his arm. We went into a meeting room, just the two of us, and before I had chance to sit down he whacked down a peice of paper on the table. It was an email stating that I, personally should have phoned in on that morning and he saw as it a slur against his management abilities. The issue of being informed so late on was also raised.

I'm no !!!!! so I didn't back down - I told him if he's got a problem with it to raise it with management and see what they said because "I give up and I don't know what you want"... at that point he went completely red and shouted "I WANT YOUR COMPLIANCE!"

Since then, nothing really has been said, it's been acknowledged by management that they're aware he raised his voice and that they would "sort it" but nothing seems to have happenned, no apology or anything.

Almost a year later and I see the guy everyday, he's no longer my boss because I've changed departments. But occasionally I have to sit in meetings with him and play-nice.

I think the time has come to see what employment law says I can do about this, and since I know sod all about employment law I've come here for advice.

Thanks for reading, your advice is welcomed and appreciated

LadyMissA

I think in your contract you will have a section of what you have to do when you aren't coming into work. IE: who has to call and by what time. At my last job you and ONLY you had to call by 9am unless you were in a hospital bed. Failure to do so could result in a written warning.

Sambucus_Nigra

If you have an issue, you need to take out a grievance. However I'm not sure that will achieve anything now. He could just get a verbal warning and you'd never know about it anyway.

I think it's probably best to let it go.

jason1231972

I'm sorry to hear of your loss but, honestly, after all this time, I'd just drop it.

You weren't punished, you were shouted at (grossly insensitive, in my view, and unprofessional, but that's about the extent of it).

What are you hoping to achieve from this? Now that the pain of losing your grandfather is (hopefully) less raw, after a year, it'll just look like sour grapes to dig up an old gripe, and will add to any ill-feeling between the two of you.

My mum died in April. I walked out of work, and didn't go back for two weeks - didn't phone, or anything (and I'm close to my boss, having worked for him for a long time as part of a small team). I got rollocked when I returned, but it's water under the bridge now!!

Tigsteroonie

gringofyx wrote: »

Since then, nothing really has been said, it's been acknowledged by management that they're aware he raised his voice and that they would "sort it" but nothing seems to have happenned, no apology or anything.

Almost a year later and I see the guy everyday, he's no longer my boss because I've changed departments. But occasionally I have to sit in meetings with him and play-nice.

I think the time has come to see what employment law says I can do about this, and since I know sod all about employment law I've come here for advice.

I have to ask the obvious question - what are you looking for?

You don't mention that he started any kind of disciplinary proceedings against you. You haven't said that you have been off sick as a result of the distress he caused. And, because you don't work closely with him on a daily basis, it won't be affecting your work environment too much. We all have to sit in meetings and "play-nice" with people that we don't necessarily like.

gringofyx

That's cool, you've pretty much confirmed what I thought - I agree it wasn't an official punishment, just my boss being a jerk and I guess the world is full them

Thanks for the advice

ohreally

The time to act has been lost, let it go.

If you wish to pursue your little victory over him, again do nothing but wait for an oppertunity to avail - it will happen, then decide whether you still want to go down that route.

tescobabe69

gringofyx wrote: »

That's cool, you've pretty much confirmed what I thought - I agree it wasn't an official punishment, just my boss being a jerk and I guess the world is full them

How right you are.

Evilm

FYI - anyone facing this sort of situation it might be worth giving HR or your line manager/boss a heads up when you realise its getting close if you can. I did this and we agreed that for this one instance only I could text the boss rather than the formal ringing in procedure. I'm glad I did as when one of my parents died after a long battle with cancer back in April I was in no condition to ring into work.

It will depend on your boss but I'd hope most would be acceptable to an alternative arrangement for such a situation.